Paul’s Thing

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Hi! I'm Paul. This is my blog. It is the best blog.

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© 2004-2017 Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.

Saturday Bag o’ Bloggage

Weaponize this, assholes. […]

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We Was Robbed

Seen on Twitter: “RT if you still haven’t said the words ‘President Trump’ aloud.” These lips haven’t, but I did type them once, in a January blog post. In my defense, I was quoting a Washington Post headline, and I hope George Soros won’t invalidate my intolerant liberal license.

So now we have, or had, […]

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Wednesday’s Child Is White & Privileged

Poor Maxie. I called her Schatzi this morning. I don’t know if she noticed, but I did, and it set me back a little.

Donna’s away again, though not far. She’s at a retreat with fellow members of the local American Sewing Guild. Every year about this time they hole up in a Tucson resort […]

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Leave Kathy Alone!

Lemme know when Kathy Griffin starts murdering people on the Metro. Then maybe I’ll give a shit about the message she’s sending. I thought the mock beheading photo was timely, appropriate, and well within the bounds of acceptable political discourse. And anyway, who’s to say HBO didn’t stage the whole thing … the photo, the […]

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Short Enough?

The first thing I do in the morning is glance at the LED clock in the bathroom. Yesterday it was blank; the GFCI outlet it’s plugged into had popped (I had to look up GFCI just now: ground fault circuit interrupter) and the little red button wouldn’t reset. A contractor is pumping out our swimming […]

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Establishing Credentials

What a prude I’ve become, at least when it comes to pushing the rules on Facebook. A friend signed me up for a “Golden Days of Illustration” group. Nice at first with lovely color plates and vintage ads but pretty soon infiltrated by bare-breasted mermaids and fairies, then 1950s-era men’s magazine pinups. Underground comix sex […]

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Battleship! (Updated)

You’ve played battleship, right? Aircraft carriers are today’s battleships, and we’re all in the game, trying to guess where they are.

Earlier this month—the 5th of April, a day before we struck Syria—I questioned reports saying an American aircraft carrier was on its way to strike North Korea. People were getting worked up: some were […]

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Wednesday Bag o’ Loneliness

It’s just me and the dogs. Donna left this morning on a two-week trip to see friends and family in San Jose, Sacramento, Oroville, and Pittsburg. No, not that Pittsburg, the one in California. You didn’t know there was a Pittsburg in California? There is, and it’s the town Donna was born in.

I expect […]

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