Paul’s Thing

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August 2016
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© 2004-2016 Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.

Reading the Signs

Yes, the beard is gone. Like an infant discovering its tongue, I’d become obsessively aware of the hair on my face, touching it, scratching at it, thinking about it day and night. The symptoms were signs, and they read: “A shave / That’s real / No cuts to heal / A soothing / Velvet after-feel / Burma-Shave.” […]

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Best You’ve Ever Seen?

I probably shouldn’t say anything about the latest social media witch hunt, but when has common sense ever prevented me from talking about things that upset people? […]

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Thursday Bag o’ Cautious Optimism

Parents of adult children should be able to relate to this: our 40-year-old daughter Polly left her boyfriend in late June and moved in with us. It’s just until she gets back on her feet, we told ourselves. Since then she’s been employed three times: once for two weeks, once for two days, once for […]

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Monday Bag o’ Odds & Ends

I could say I’m blogging about odds & ends because it’s the lull between festive holiday events, and with parties and football soon to come, no one wants to read about anything serious (not that there aren’t plenty of serious things to write about).

But the end of 2014 and the beginning of 2015, barring […]

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Friday Bag o’ Dog Years

Both hummingbird chicks have flown away. The bicycle hook nest is empty. A friend told me new chicks sometimes come back to the nest at first. We observed that with one of the chicks from an earlier hummingbird nest in June. I remember thinking, “Surely that bird should have learned to fly by now,” and […]

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Tuesday Bag o’ Eggcorns

Some of my recent Twitter finds: blimp on the radar, quanza hut, hiden seek, take things with a grain assault, rod iron gate, malice of forethought, pre-madonna, self of steam. […]

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Monday Bag of Fetishes

Everybody has fetishes. Me too. Not stilettos, despite the graphic (hey, you try searching for “bag of fetish” and see how many options Google Images gives you), but one fetish I’ll admit to is aircraft engines, especially the round reciprocating kind. I find them irresistibly sexy.

Aviators who’ve flown behind radials and had to wipe […]

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Cops Open Fire On Bronx Driver Who Failed To Yield To Pedestrian

That’s one of the headlines on today’s Gothamist, an online news aggregator for the New York City area:

Gothamist is better known for linking to news articles that suggest the opposite: they run story after story of NYC cops and courts letting drivers go after they’ve maimed or killed pedestrians and bicyclists. […]

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