I sure get a kick out of the Tucson Weekly Police Dispatch column. This one is from the July 2, 2009 issue:
A WHORIBLE SPELLER
A woman freshly out of a messy divorce found alleged proof that her ex-husband is both mean and a lousy speller, a PCSD report stated.
The victim said that about two weeks before, her ex-husband had retrieved some things he owned from a shed on her mother’s property. When her mother was out of town, the woman had gone to the property to check on the house and noticed that someone had removed the screws from the shed’s door handle and lock—meaning anybody could get inside and steal her things stored there.
When she went inside the shed, she said, she found graffiti on the walls made with a marker. She said her angry ex-husband had apparently been trying to write “fucking whore,” which she said he used to call her all the time—but he must have been unsure of his spelling: Someone had written “fuckin hor,” and then added, “or whore.”
The victim was upset, she said, mainly because her children sometimes went in the shed, and she did not want them to see bad language. Besides, graffiti like that might negatively affect children’s spelling abilities.
Deputies were unable to ascertain whether the woman’s ex had indeed written “fuckin hor or whore” in the shed.