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Shit hot header photos by Paul, w/assistance from "The Thing?"

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Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 by Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.

My First Troll

Here’s the exchange in its entirety. It started last night and continued (on her end) into the morning:

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford hey is your father David and mom Kathy & you have an Aunt Audrey etc ad nauseum..then you are my first cousin barf barf

Paul Woodford @paulwoodford
@________GOURMET Alas no: different parents. But I do have a cooking blog, so maybe we’re related anyway!

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford I am pretty sure that you are my first cousin. I couldn’t stand you when you were 3 years old & now WOW your politics suck

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford I am going to expose you dude!

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford NOTICE! I FOLLOW NO ONE YET I HAVE MANY FOLLOWERS. People this cretin is part of the lying media. this jerk is a lyer

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford You are about to be exposed jerk! You made a big BIG MISTAKE! Thank you so kindly douche bag

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford the plot thickens. For all my friends who wondered if I died…no, and thank you for saving my life. This creep is part of it

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford He helped make me homeless & he helped take down my website that exposed who my family is. Just read his crap & it is obvious

I answered the initial tweet without checking the sender’s Twitter profile, assuming (based on the sender’s handle) I was responding to a fellow cook. I didn’t see the follow-on tweets until I logged onto Twitter this morning. That’s when I finally checked @________GOURMET’s profile. Yes, a cook: a maker and purveyor of holistic dog food with a web site to market same. The profile begins with “Hi my name is Zoe.”

Zoe, based on a tweet she’d posted before our exchange, is a Sandy Hook truther:

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
NO ONE DIED AT SANDY HOOK, PEOPLE. It’s all about taking our guns. Wake up!

Had I checked her profile in the first place I never would have responded. Let that be a lesson to me!

Apparently, after I answered her initial tweet, she paid a visit to my blog. I can see why a Sandy Hook truther would say my politics suck, although I would not call insane conspiracy theories “politics.” Where the rest of her extended burst came from I can’t imagine.

I’m glad I copied the tweets she sent me because now, less than an hour later, she’s deleted them all. Shoot, I was hoping to get some new followers out of this!

© 2013, Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.

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