My First Troll

Here’s the exchange in its entirety. It started last night and continued (on her end) into the morning:

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford hey is your father David and mom Kathy & you have an Aunt Audrey etc ad nauseum..then you are my first cousin barf barf

Paul Woodford @paulwoodford
@________GOURMET Alas no: different parents. But I do have a cooking blog, so maybe we’re related anyway!

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford I am pretty sure that you are my first cousin. I couldn’t stand you when you were 3 years old & now WOW your politics suck

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford I am going to expose you dude!

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford NOTICE! I FOLLOW NO ONE YET I HAVE MANY FOLLOWERS. People this cretin is part of the lying media. this jerk is a lyer

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford You are about to be exposed jerk! You made a big BIG MISTAKE! Thank you so kindly douche bag

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford the plot thickens. For all my friends who wondered if I died…no, and thank you for saving my life. This creep is part of it

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
@paulwoodford He helped make me homeless & he helped take down my website that exposed who my family is. Just read his crap & it is obvious

I answered the initial tweet without checking the sender’s Twitter profile, assuming (based on the sender’s handle) I was responding to a fellow cook. I didn’t see the follow-on tweets until I logged onto Twitter this morning. That’s when I finally checked @________GOURMET’s profile. Yes, a cook: a maker and purveyor of holistic dog food with a web site to market same. The profile begins with “Hi my name is Zoe.”

Zoe, based on a tweet she’d posted before our exchange, is a Sandy Hook truther:

________ GOURMET @________GOURMET
NO ONE DIED AT SANDY HOOK, PEOPLE. It’s all about taking our guns. Wake up!

Had I checked her profile in the first place I never would have responded. Let that be a lesson to me!

Apparently, after I answered her initial tweet, she paid a visit to my blog. I can see why a Sandy Hook truther would say my politics suck, although I would not call insane conspiracy theories “politics.” Where the rest of her extended burst came from I can’t imagine.

I’m glad I copied the tweets she sent me because now, less than an hour later, she’s deleted them all. Shoot, I was hoping to get some new followers out of this!

© 2013, Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.


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