The Dumbing Down of Virtually Everything (Part I)

Is it just me, or did the lowest common denominator just slingshot into the lead on the back straightaway of this racetrack we call life?

Donna and I both had frustrating days and neither of us wanted to cook, so we went to Hooters for wings and beer. Yeah, I know, if you want to get away from the mouth-breathers, Hooters is not the refuge of choice, but we like the wings and we’ve always enjoyed ourselves there.

Not tonight, though. There was a motorcycle show in the parking lot (showroom-stock Harleys) and the place was packed with Harley Owner Group types. A Personality from one of the local commercial FM rock stations was on hand to announce awards. The sound system, not only outside but inside too, was cranked up so high we had no choice but to listen to the bike show announcements, and in between deafening announcements the Personality cut back to the radio station: two deafening songs followed by five deafening commercials, over and over. Oh, and it was loud, as I may have mentioned. Unbelievably loud.

And no one, as far as I could tell, was the least bit upset by any of this. On the contrary, the RUBs (rich urban bikers) were wallowing in the aural onslaught. No one seemed put out over not being able to talk or to listen to the games on the widescreen TVs. It was also apparent to me that were I to object, no one would understand what I was talking about. Which pretty much put Donna and me into Koala Bear mode: eat, shoot, and leave. What fun.

Am I the only one who thinks a bike show featuring nothing but bolt-stock bikes isn’t much of a show? Am I the only one who wants to talk to his friends and listen to the games at Hooters? Am I the only one who thinks there’s no fucking excuse for subjecting paying customers to radio commercials, especially now that XM and Sirius are available? Am I the only one who resents these teeming hoards of Stupids, breathing up our precious air?

Damn, people, why do we always wind up lowering our expectations? Why can’t we raise them once in a while? Where is it written that the Stupids have to win?