Lately I’ve favored the left side of my face when taking selfies. If you look at the selfie I took just now, you’ll see why.
Three months ago Donna started commenting on the swelling along my right jaw line. She wasn’t gentle about it, either, saying I’m starting to look like the Elephant Man. That got me off my ass and I went to see our primary care doctor, who agreed with Donna and sent me off for a CT scan and a referral to an ear, nose, and throat specialist. I had the scan two weeks ago and saw the ENT doctor this morning. I thought he was going to take a biopsy, but no, just another referral — he’s sending me to a pathology clinic for the biopsy, so it’ll be a while yet before I know what’s going on.
What I do know: the swelling, or mass or whatever, is fairly large, about two inches in diameter. The ENT doc did an ultrasound on it as I watched, and it’s pretty prominent. He says it could be benign, and odds are it is. If so I can elect to have it cut out or live with it. If it’s cancerous it’ll definitely have to be removed. A lot of nerves run through the area where it’s located, which might leave me with some facial paralysis in addition to a scar. With my history of skin cancers I’m no stranger to scars, but looking like a stroke victim would be new to me and I don’t relish the idea. I’ve already decided to live with it if it’s benign, and Donna can call me names all she wants.
It’ll be a few days before the biopsy is scheduled, several more until it’s actually done, and we’ll go from there. Fun times.
I wore a Chinese homage watch today, the one on the left. It’s a Rolex Submariner lookalike, the classic James Bond watch. On the way home from the ENT doctor’s office Donna noticed it and said it isn’t one of her favorites. But it looks like a Rolex, I said. Maybe so, she said, but it’s boring.
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Back in 1990 I flew from Japan to Hong Kong, planning to buy a Rolex. I tried on a Submariner at the Royal Navy’s China Fleet Club — then as now, the Submariner was the quintessential Rolex — but when it was actually on my wrist, nothing happened. I thought it was kind of blah, a nice-looking but rather plain Jane watch. That, and the fact it cost twice what I thought it would, led to me flying home with a Breitling Chronomat, a watch that spoke to me the minute the broker pulled it out of the drawer.
I’m not sure what possessed me, a few months ago, to buy the Submariner homage. I guess I wanted a watch that looked like a Rolex in my collection, but I have to admit it’s not one of my favorites. Like the real thing, it’s a tall drink of water.
The second watch is another Chinese homage, a Rolex Air King lookalike. Like the Submariner, the Air King is all silver steel with a black dial, but the dial has large 3, 6, and 9 hour markers with a prominent minutes scale, set off by a green seconds hand. If the broker in Hong Kong had shown me an Air King, I probably would have bought it. If I had the money to buy a Rolex today, the Air King is the one I’d get. I like a touch of color. I like dials that aren’t standard. I favor pilot-style watches with bold displays you can read in a busy cockpit. This one, to me, is anything but blah.
One of the arguments in favor of homage watches is that you can buy and wear one while you decide whether or not to break the bank for the real thing. The Air King homage makes me want the real thing; the Submariner homage not at all.
I should probably make another YouTube watch show & tell video to explain all this, and do it soon, before half my face goes one way and half the other, right? Oh, I almost forgot — I’ve made a couple of videos about homage watches, sometimes saying homage the French way, oh-majh, sometimes the English way, ha-mage. Don’t know why I didn’t look it up in the dictionary in the first place. When I finally did, I discovered the French way is correct when it comes to watches; the English way is correct when it comes to paying homage. In other words, an inexpensive oh-majh watch pays ha-mage to a more expensive Swiss luxury brand.
Watches and dictionaries are reference tools. I never say the time without cross-checking my watch; from now on I vow to cross-check the dictionary before pronouncing words I don’t use every day.
Stay fresh, cheese bags!