. . . for ancient jokes. From Something Awful. I think they’re funnier than the originals:
A man has been trapped on a desert island for eight years. One day, he sees a boat on the horizon and lights a fire to let it know he is there.
The boat comes towards the shore. On board there is a beautiful woman in a body hugging wetsuit.
“Thank God,” he says, “I’ve been trapped on this island for eight years. Thank God someone has come at last.”
“Eight years?” she says, “So it’s eight years since you last smoked a Cuban cigar?”
She unzips a pocket on her wetsuit and pulls out a cigar. She passes it to him, pulls out a Zippo, and lights it for him. He enjoys the first cigar he has had in eight years.
“So it’s also eight years since you had a drink?”
She unzips a pocket on her wetsuit and pulls out a hip flask, tossing it to him. He takes a swig, and it’s 25 year old single malt whisky. It’s smooth and mellow and utterly delicious.
“So,” she says, beginning to unzip the long zipper on the front of her costume, “it’s eight years since you played around?”
“Oh no,” he says, “this is all a dream, isn’t it? A beautiful woman with whiskey and cigars wanting to have sex with me? I must be dreaming.”
Suddenly he is woken up by a flash of lightning. It’s the middle of the night, and he is all alone in his primitive shelter on his desert island. So alone, so terribly alone.
Gopher 04/19/05 5:35 PM
I thought sure you were going to say that she peels off the wetsuit and pulls out a set of golf clubs!
Of course, an enterprising hasher, after 8 years, would have ground up coconuts, mixed the pulp with fresh water and waited until wild yeast infested the mash, making coconut wine.
And a still more enterprising hasher would then build a crude still and ferment said wine, making fenni! (Local coconut-based sprit that I drank heaps of in Goa!)
Of course, that’s just me…
Gopher