When I grow up, I want to write police blotter reports for the local paper!
From the Tucson Weekly, Feb 19, 2009:
Police Dispatch
Semi-Insane
East Benson Highway, Jan. 21, 7:04 p.m.
A lone woman, possibly impaired by serious alcohol or drug ingestion, put her own life in danger and annoyed many semi-truck drivers with her actions, according to a Pima County Sheriff’s Department report.
The Sheriff’s Department received multiple calls from the Triple T Truck Stop, 5451 E. Benson Highway, complaining of a suspicious person. The calls described a Caucasian female running around the parking lot, getting in the way of semis entering and exiting the parking lot, crawling under semis, pounding on the trucks’ doors and generally causing a disturbance. Truck drivers complained of having to stop and look under their vehicles before driving away, in case the female was hiding beneath them. Some calls stated that she had been removing articles of clothing.
A few Arizona Department of Public Safety officers, who were incidentally dining at the Triple T’s restaurant, located the female and detained her until the reporting deputy arrived on scene. The deputy tried to talk to the subject, but she started thrashing her head back and forth and kicking her legs violently, trying to crawl toward him and cause him harm; she was “out of it”–obviously highly intoxicated or on some kind of controlled substance, the report stated.
Deputies took the subject to jail, but she was rejected and sent to the UPH-Kino Hospital. On the way back to the patrol vehicle, she resumed thrashing her head back and forth, at which point “a bunch of snot started coming out of her nose.”
Eventually, the female was medically cleared and booked into the Pima County Adult Detention Center for disorderly conduct.
I swear, things like this make life worth living.