Thursday Bag o’ Thuggery

bag of bullyingSo far it’s been a thuggish week. The Boston Marathon bombings. The media frenzy and over-reaction that followed. The Senate demonstrating, once again, that it thinks “democracy” is crazy talk. And now the fertilizer plant in West, Texas. And I don’t have anything to say about any of that, other than to note we’ve taken a few punches this week. But we’ve taken worse, far worse, and we’ll recover.

A friend asked if I’d lead a pack of 4th graders on a tour at the Pima Air & Space Museum, and I said sure, why not? Luckily for me, the school tour was set for yesterday at 9:30 AM, and since yesterday was my weekly museum day anyway, all I had to do was show up an hour early to talk to the kids, then stay for my regularly-scheduled tours at 10:30 and 11:30. There were about 45 kids and 5 chaperones in the group. I modified my normal tour, focusing on the more fun airplanes, and was pleasantly surprised by how many of the kids paid attention and the quality of their questions. Still, I’m glad I didn’t go into teaching … what an exhausting occupation that must be.

I want to go to the gym this morning to work my knee on the stationary bicycle, but I’m waiting for a pool repair guy to call. Our pool has always lost more water than it should, but lately the level’s dropping two inches if I run the pump overnight … that’s a lot of water. Brian, the guy who checks our chemicals once a week, was pretty sure one of the buried PVC pipes running between the pool and the pump was cracked. He started digging to find the leak, but he’s only here once a week and can never stay long because he has other clients. Over the space of two months he gradually dug down to the pipes, but only in a two-foot long section near the pump … and there are several more feet between the hole and the pool. I finally called a pool repair company and they were supposed to come today, but so far no one has called. I just want to get it fixed and done with … the grandson will be here in June and I know he’ll want to swim. What’s annoying is that we resurfaced the pool just two years ago. I wish we had thought to replace the underground pipes at the same time!

Well, enough about me and my pool, and back to the thuggery. While we’re reeling from death and destruction at the hands of terrorists and unregulated industries and the Senate’s failure to address gun violence, our friends in North Korea are reeling from vicious attacks on the dignity of the Men of Mount Paektu. I mean, sure, North Koreans die all the time, either from starvation or from being worked to death in prison camps, but they don’t sweat (or report on) the small stuff. No, what gets them worked up is any hint of disrespect to their hereditary rulers. And boy, are they worked up this week … so worked up, they’re ready to offer the South Koreans a deal. From the Korean Central News Agency of the DPRK:

Koreans Vow to Give Deal to S. Korean Traitors

Pyongyang, April 16 (KCNA) — The army and people of the DPRK are trembling with anger at the hideous criminal act of the south Korean group of gangsters who hurt the dignity of the supreme leadership of the DPRK. Kim Song Nam, teacher of Kim Chaek University of Technology, said as follows:

It is an unpardonable big treason that the devilish enemies hurt the dignity of the supreme leadership of the DPRK on the Day of the Sun. The enemies made no hesitation of insulting portraits of the peerlessly great men of Mt. Paektu which the Koreans have deeply cherished in their hearts. It is a hideous provocative act unprecedented in history that they played with edged tools on the day celebrated by the nation as a significant holiday.

The present south Korean authorities connived at the big treason that was held in downtown Seoul in broad daylight. They are a group of traitors like Lee Myung Bak who was thrown into the garbage of history. The group of gangsters who are utterly disregarding the history and the nation should be forced to meet death by dismemberment.

Ryom Song Chol, officer of the Korean People’s Army, branding the act of having hurt the dignity of the supreme leadership of the DPRK as a despicable act of those who plunge into fire with faggots on their back, said:

The present regime of south Korea is whetting the sword for confrontation with fellow countrymen, taking the advantage of its master’s anti-DPRK moves just like the Lee Myung Bak group of traitors which was thrown into the dumping ground of history. The regime has staged a nuclear war racket targeting the fellow countrymen in April, a month celebrated by the nation as the most auspicious season, and even committed the hideous act of confrontation hurting the valuable dignity of the DPRK. How can they be allowed to go unpunished.

Anger has mounted among the army of the DPRK at the news of act hurting the dignity of the supreme leadership of the country by the south Korean gangsters. The best option for us in defending the dignity of our supreme leadership, our lifeline, is a practical military action for severely punishing the group of traitors. They can not be pardoned. They should be made to pay a dear price for their hideous criminal act.

Actually, that doesn’t sound like much of a deal. If I were the puppet master of the south Korean group of gangsters, I wouldn’t take it.

Ostensibly, the Norks are responding to an incident in downtown Seoul on Monday, where demonstrators burned effigies of Kim il Sung and Kim Jong Il. But I think what’s really going on is that they’re trying to pre-emptively manage an internal PR crisis: Monday’s collapse of a giant wall mural in Musan, North Korea. The mural, a mosaic of Kim il Sung and Kim Jong il, fell down during broad daylight in full view of the citizens of the town, a most public and embarrassing disgrace, something people will talk about despite the regime’s best efforts to shut them up. Apparently the workers who built the wall sold most of the concrete on the black market, leaving behind a structure that couldn’t stand up to strong winds.

And we think we have troubles! Sheesh.

Speaking of thuggery, how about that Gabby Giffords? What a bully!

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There, there, gun lovers … it’s okay. How about some hot chocolate and a good snuggle? The brave men and women of the US Senate will protect you from that mean lady!

© 2013, Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.

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