My Name Is and I’m a Freelance Writer

Wow, now people want to write for my blog! When did I become so popular and influential? No shit, check out the email I got this morning:

Hi Paul,

I hope this e-mail finds you well. I only recently started reading your blog, but it has quickly become part of my daily blog browsing. My name is  and I’m a freelance writer. I was wondering if you would possibly be interested in a guest post opportunity.

I could come up with an article related to your blog. Of course, I’m not asking for any sort of monetary compensation; I’m only looking for a writing experience that would stretch my current abilities. In turn, you would be receiving solid content that appeals to your intended audience. I am just looking for a link to my homepage …

… at which point I quit reading, sorry I didn’t bail after the second sentence, where he/she/it couldn’t even be bothered to type in his/her/its fictional name.

I concluded long ago that spammers & bots always fuck something up — grammar, spelling, capitalization, phrasing — and that if they ever figure out how to write like the kind of intelligent person you or I would like to correspond with, they’ll fleece us all.

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