Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing

Three furious headlines:

• Chris Matthews Backs Anti-Abortion Shill Into A Corner
• Allen West Blasts ‘Misconceived’ Policy On Women In Combat
• S. Korean Authorities’ Fascist Oppression Flayed

The first is from a leftie site called Crooks & Liars; the second from a right-leaning site called Mediaite; the third from North Korea’s Central News Agency. Each one of these could fairly be rewritten to say “Choir Hears Sermon, Opposition Plugs Ears.” Does anyone seriously think Chris Matthews’ anti-abortion guest feels backed into a corner? Are Leon Panetta and the Joint Chiefs reeling from the blast Allen West set off under their feet? Are South Korean authorities’ backs bleeding after that vicious flaying?

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton Slaps Down Senatorial Inquisitors! Senator Rand Paul Makes Hillary Beg for Mercy! It’s all bullshit. We choose sides beforehand and nothing anyone says changes a single opinion.

The headlines I cited are from nakedly partisan news organizations. Mainstream news sources strive for “balance.” Yesterday NPR, balanced to a fault, interviewed a birther. Never once did the reporter question her assertions, even when she said “We never saw a birth certificate.” Would it have violated NPR’s policy of balance for the reporter to have mentioned the two birth certificates Obama released in 2008 and 2012?

Speaking of birthers, I predict Beyoncé’s lip-syncing will become the next weapon in the arsenal. Because we all know the Constitution requires the national anthem be performed live during presidential inaugurations. Otherwise the swearing-in is invalid and the powers of the commander-in-chief automatically pass to the white congressman from Wisconsin’s 1st District. Orly Taitz is probably writing a new brief as we speak.

You watch. It’ll happen. And NPR will continue to “teach the controversy.” Is it any wonder we’re all getting our news from partisan websites these days?