Guess it’s my day to make fun of myself (yes, I’m a Goldwinger too). Here’s another one I posted to a Goldwinger board.
Hi, I just spent over $16K on a new Goldwing. I have some questions:
– What’s the absolute cheapest oil I can possibly use? Can you still buy recycled engine oil? My dad ran that stuff in his ’49 Nash and it worked great. And is there really any reason to change oil every 4000 miles? Every 4000 miles . . . hey, that’s two or three times a year, which adds up to serious money. Can I let it slide to 8000 miles? For that matter, is there really any reason to change oil ever?
– Will the engine run on kerosene or diesel? That 87-octane is pretty pricey!
– Is there some way I can fit $25 second-hand bias-ply automobile tires to the rims? I can’t believe you guys pay over $200 for a pair of motorcycle tires! I mean, what, are you made of money? Gimme a break! Besides, I think whitewalls would look great on this bike, even if they were only on one side.
– The dealer wanted me to pay extra for ABS. Right . . . I asked him to remove the front brakes and shave a thou off the price, but he wouldn’t do it, the chiseler. Like I’m gonna use front brakes anyway! Whaddya think, I’m stupid? Touch those things, man, there ya go – right over the handlebars!
– Then he tries to get another grand out of me for a CD player! You gotta be kidding me! I have a perfectly good Muntz hi-fi in a nice blond wood cabinet. Has anyone tried sawing off the trunk and mounting one of these babies on back? Will it run on 12V DC?
– I won’t even mention the gouge they get on the CB radio. Hah! Here’s a tip for all you Wingers – cruise the garage sales! That’s right. All kinds of good motorcycle accessories there. I found a used battery-operated megaphone for $10 and talked the lady down to $5, and now I can talk to everyone on the road – just crank up the volume!
Thanks in advance for all your help!
Gopher 03/30/04 2:03 AM
You know…
You never hear this kind of crap from the HD Ultra Classic crowd…
Gopher
Flying Booger 03/30/04 8:05 AM
It’s really incredible how tight some of these guys are. I was lowballing when I said I paid “over $16K” for my Wing – I was too embarrassed to confess I actually paid about $20K – and I am absolutely not kidding about the automobile tire thing – there are some Wingers out there who do that!
You’re right about the Harley crowd – they spend a lot of money on their rides (as did I when I had the Electra Glide), and they don’t mind doing it.