Mass Delusion Is the Thing With Feathers

unnamedHey, I’m not laughing. A month ago I might have, but then someone flipped a switch and the birds disappeared. Now I’m wondering.

I refill our outdoor bird feeders every Saturday. A few weeks back I went out with a container of seed and discovered the feeders still full. That had never happened before, not once in 22 years. Same thing a week later, and the week after that. Our family room window looks out on the front yard where the feeders and bird bath are, where the usual suspects hang out: doves, house sparrows, cactus wrens, goldfinches, roadrunners, Gila woodpeckers, the occasional cardinal. We haven’t seen any of them for weeks.

It could be the neighborhood Cooper’s hawk. She occasionally perches in the palo verde tree by our feeders, looking for easy prey and driving the smaller birds away. Has she perhaps taken up permanent residence nearby? That would be one explanation for the sudden absence of birds.

It’s equally possible, though, that the birds have been recalled for sensor upgrades and updated spyware at the secret government facility that operates them. I’m keeping an open mind and doing my own research.

p.s. They say the Birds Aren’t Real “movement” is satirical, but so was Ivermectin, and look how that turned out.

© 2021, Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.

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