Now that televisions look like panels, will we continue calling them “boxes”? Probably.
I’ve decided to quit watching Keith Olbermann’s Countdown. The commercial-to-content ratio is ridiculous; there can’t be more than 30 minutes of content in this 60-minute show . . . the pain far outweighs the gain. Plus he’s a pompous ass with an ego problem.
Can it really be that there are more commercials on Countdown than on other cable news shows? Probably not . . . it must be the way Olbermann groups his commercials, with those annoying teasers in between, that makes it appear so. I don’t have the stomach to sit there with a stopwatch and do the necessary research, but it’s probably a safe bet that the commercial-to-content ratio is highest on the cable channels.
Viewers are reportedly disappointed with Jon Stewart for not tearing John Woo a new one earlier this week on The Daily Show. The thing is, Stewart is one of two TV hosts (the other is Rachel Maddow) who’s willing to pull back the curtain of agenda-driven spin and propaganda other TV news shows hide behind. So just as more and more viewers have turned to a comedy show for actual news, more and more viewers are coming to expect fearless investigative reporting from Jon Stewart, forgetting that he’s first and foremost a talk show host.
The more I see of Rachel Maddow, on the other hand, the more impressed I am. She’d have torn John Woo a new asshole, probably two or three. The Rachel Maddow Show is the only serious news show doing investigative, confrontational reporting. When politicians say outrageously false things on TV, most reporters give them a pass. Case in point is Rudy Giuliani on Good Morning America about a week ago. When he looked the camera in the eye and said “We had no domestic attacks under Bush; we’ve had one under Obama,” host George Stephanopoulos just kept on shittin’ & grinnin’. Rachel would have gone straight for Rudy’s lying throat, and that’s probably why John Woo and Rudy Giuliani don’t go on her show.
Ah, but TV is so much more than news. Waiting for takeout pizza at a restaurant the other night, I saw Cash Cab on a TV over the bar. I’ve complained before about TV shows pixelating out license plates, peoples’ faces, and brand names, but on Cash Cab they’re going for the moon. Generally the Cash Cab camera is trained on the contestants inside the cab, but occasionally they turn it to look through the windshield so that you can see it’s an actual cab driving on the streets of New York City, not some stage set. During one of these brief windshield cutaways, I saw an orange blob in front of the cab. It was an entire car, pixelated out. WTF? Why? It was so distracting I lost track of questions the contestants were supposed to be answering.
I thought pixelation was driven by lawyers. After all, you can conjure up legal reasons for fuzzing out license plates and bystanders’ faces. But whole cars? Would General Motors sue you if you show a Chevy driving by in the background? Doesn’t make sense, that. Then I read this, and learned that brand name pixelation is a shakedown: “Sponsor us, GM, or we’ll fuzz out your product.” But there’s nothing new under the sun, is there? Remember those B movies from the 1950s where every single car that would appear on the screen would be a Ford? Same thing, sort of.
Okay Paul, we know you can bitch. Why don’t you tell us what you do watch?
Jon Stewart and Rachel Maddow, obviously. The Colbert Report. The Office. Old movies on AMC and TMC. NCIS, but only the original . . . the LA-based spinoff isn’t working for me. If NBC had had the guts to keep it going I’d be a total Southland groupie. Ditto The Unit on CBS. I watched 60 Minutes for the first time in years last Sunday; apart from the squirm-inducing Andy Rooney segment, it was pretty good and I’ll be back for more. I watch Top Gear reruns on the BBC channel, but can’t figure out when they show new episodes, which I’d TIVO if I could. Perhaps I don’t get the cable channel where they air new ones.
Speaking of cable, I wish I could subscribe to channels on an a la carte basis. I mentioned Top Gear; I also want the channel that shows old Mystery Science Theater episodes. The only way I can get them is to buy an expensive package full of shit channels I’ll never watch. Comcast, are you listening?
TV. Still a wasteland, vaster than ever. ‘Cept for Rachel.