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Shit hot header graphic by Paul, w/assistance from "The Thing?"

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Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 by Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.

Monday Bag o’ Anxiety

anxiety bagJust posted to Facebook: “If the candidate’s a legitimate asshole, the voter has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” Some of my friends’ll get the Todd Akin reference, some won’t. I’d like to believe most of my friends are informed voters, but some of their Facebook updates indicate otherwise.

By this time in 2008 it was pretty clear Obama would trounce McCain. Pretty clear to everyone except the journalists and pundits who had a stake it it being a close race. At this point in 2012 it’s pretty clear Obama will trounce Romney … but only if Democrats vote and Republican voter suppression efforts fail and the entire population of the Northeastern Seaboard doesn’t get tired of waiting for the power to come back on and decide it’s Obama’s fault it hasn’t. So I’m nervous. Anxious. Trying not to bite my nails.

Polly finished her motorcycle safety training yesterday. This morning we rode our scooters to the DMV, where she showed her certificate and got a new license with a motorcycle endorsement. I didn’t need to ride with her but she wanted me to, at least until she builds up her confidence. Arizona licenses motorcycle riders but most people don’t bother to get the endorsement. Dealers aren’t required to check, and I’ve never heard of anyone getting in trouble with the police for not having one. Well, we care … not about the piece of paper but about having the training. I feel a lot better about Polly riding knowing she’s taken the class.

So we’re sitting at the DMV two hours ago and I took this rather dispiriting photo:

democratic department of voter fraud

Could be any DMV waiting room anywhere, couldn’t it? And then I thought I should post it to Facebook, claiming it’s an unauthorized spy shot taken inside the Voter Fraud room at Democratic Party Headquarters, where former ACORN members wait for their numbers to be called in order to cast duplicate ballots. That’s Bill Ayers’ shoulder there on the left, and a Black Panther just went into the restroom. Think Drudge would pick it up? Shit yeah, I’m gonna do it!

Polly’s been bitching about the granny rack on the back of the Ducati, so yesterday while she was in class I decided to take it off for her. Personally, I thought the rack would be pretty useful, but Polly prefers to use a tank bag, and I have to admit the Ducati looks sexier without it. But my goodness, what a lot of work removing it turned out to be. The original owner, Mike (may he rest in peace), had installed the rack with whatever hardware he had laying around in his garage. Some of the bolts had hex heads, some had allen heads. Some took a 10mm wrench, some a 12, and of course the allen head bolts took different-sized allen keys. By the time I had the rack off, I’d used every tool in the garage but the crowbar, and there were times I was tempted to reach for it. But I got it off, and here’s the sexy Italian, before and after:

duck with rack

Ducati con portapacchi

granny rack

Ducati senza portapacchi

If you click on the second photo to enlarge it, you can also see Polly’s camo tank bag. So now it begins, this daughter-on-a-motorcycle thing. Wish us luck. And vote!

p.s. OMG, Pat Boone just robocalled. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough!

© 2012, Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.

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