When my kids grew up and moved off on their own, I had all this love and affection left over. Especially since I never used much of it when the kids were around. So I got a dog, and discovered that once you start lavishing love and affection on a pet, things can quickly get out of hand.
Walking Schatzi around the neighborhood this morning, it hit me that I constantly talk to her. That’s bad enough. What’s worse is that I have all these different names for her, depending on what she’s doing at the time — or for no reason at all — I wonder if she ever gets confused.
Here are some of the names I have for Schatzi:
- Pup
- Little pup
- Crazy pup
- Sniffer pup
- Lover pup
- Fierce pup
- Sleepy pup
- Kissy pup
- Digger pup
- Snarfy pup
- Girl
- Happy girl
- Pretty girl
- Lover girl
- Little girl
- Little girl dog
- Pest
- Pesky dog
- Baby girl dog
- Lover dog
- Dog
- Schnogger dog
- Pooper dog
- Growly dog
- Barky dog
- Scamper dog
- Smelly dog
- Killer dog
- Sweetie pie
And that was just during our walk this morning. Somehow, she keeps it all straight. She’s undoubtedly smarter than I think — and I think she’s pretty smart.
Oh, did I mention she has a hash name too? Low-Flying Booger.
Hey, at least I don’t baby-talk her. Unless you count the occasional Schatzi-watzi-flatzi-platzi-ooty-ooty-ooo. Which I don’t.