Paul’s DVD Reviews

“What has happened to you? How did you turn out this way? You know everything about me. I don’t know shit about you. Not a damn thing.”

“That’s the way it is.”

— Michael Nyqvist (as Mikael Blomkvist) and Noomi Rapace (as Lisbeth Salander) in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Shutter Island (2010)

I often dream of wandering about alone inside deserted maze-like institutional buildings like the ones in Shutter Island, so the movie resonated with me: just the right blend of architectural creepiness and sinister characters. Like everyone, I suppose, I realized quickly something fishy was going on, then spent most of the movie trying to guess what it would turn out to be (which is half the fun of watching movies like this). And then just when I thought I had a handle on what was really going down, Scorcese ended it in an ambiguous way, opening up new possibilities. Solid, interesting, entertaining . . . and I don’t doubt I’ll have another creepy empty-corridor maze dream tonight.

Quibbles. For a movie set in 1954, that Jeep the warden was driving around looked pretty futuristic (I think it was a late 60s or even mid-70s model). The first time we glimpse the lighthouse, it’s way up high on the island, but when Leonardo goes there, it’s down on the water. Why did Dr. Cawley have a car on the island . . . where could he possibly drive it? And finally, Leonardo’s Boston accent was just bogus enough to make his acting seem hammy. But these are all minor points . . . I enjoyed the movie.

T The Crazies (2010)

A damn fine addition to the George Romero canon. I’m fond of zombie movies, but they’re fantasy. Movies like this, where people become maniacal after being affected by biological agents or strange new viruses, are at least remotely plausible, and are more chilling as a result. Quarantine is a good example of this type of movie; also The Happening, 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later — if you liked any of those, you will like The Crazies.

I hadn’t realized Romero originally made this movie in 1973, or that it set the stage for the Dawn of the Dead movies. Now that I know, I’ll have to rent the earlier version and start the cycle all over again. I must say this 2010 version, directed by Breck Eisner (with George Romero as a producer) swept me along with my hair standing on end, and even made me yell at the screen a few times — I haven’t shouted warnings and advice to a movie character since I was a little kid, and I’m pretty impressed that a movie can still get a reaction like that out of me.

Fun stuff for scary movie fans.

The Red Baron (2008)

A disappointment all around. Pretentious dialog, lots of shouting, fakey CGI dogfights, cliché piled on cliché. Anyone who has ever flown fighters knows more of the story of von Richthofen than this movie delivers. Only 50 years had passed between the end of von Richthofen’s fighter career and the beginning of my own, and I hoped to gain a few insights into the history of aerial combat. But the producers gave all of that up in order to give us a love story instead. It’s a second-rate soap opera with computer-generated airplanes.
The Stranger (2010)

I think I know why I ordered this one. Although Netflix assigned it a low rating, our local paper listed it as a top ten rental. Usually, if people are renting a movie, you can ignore the ratings and critics and go with the people. What I didn’t realize is that The Stranger stars one of those fake TV wrestlers, so local small-brainers were pumping up the rental stats.

I’ll give it this — the star, Steve “Stone Cold” Austin, is not bad. He’s personable and he can act. The rest of the movie, though, is just a bunch of pointless, violent shit. Violence is okay if it’s about something, but I quickly figured out the violence here was there for its own sake. I gave up on this one after 20 minutes. I’ve got better things to do.

But hey, Steven Segal? Watch out, bro. Steve Austin’s making movies now. He’s younger than you, he’s thinner than you, he’s more limber than you, he’s a new face. Maybe his next one’ll be better.

Brooklyn’s Finest (2009)

A formula flick, the formula being Crash (what, again?). Three Brooklyn cops act out separate dramas that sort of merge at the end. It’s gritty enough — perhaps too gritty to be totally believable. And on that subject, Richard Gere is simply too handsome and fit-looking to convincingly play a 22-year veteran cop with a case of career burnout. Similarly unlikely is Don Cheadle’s character, an undercover narco cop who somehow manages to convince all the homies he’s one of them, even though he’s nothing at all like them (not in behavior, not in vocabulary, not in manners, not in deeds). The only semi-believable character is Ethan Hawke’s, a good family man desperate for money who slips into criminality and corruption. Plenty of action, though, and it entertains — believability aside, it’s not a bad movie.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Män Som Hatar Kvinnor) (2009)

An outstanding Swedish adaptation of Stieg Larsson’s novel, remarkably faithful to the book, with strong characters and enough tension and suspense to wring you out. It’s a long movie — two and a half hours — and a bit of work too, since you have to read English subtitles — but it’s such a gripping movie you don’t notice. The friend who loaned me the DVD didn’t even remember that it was in Swedish — in her memory, it was in English. That really says something, I think.

I could not have done a better job casting Michael Nyqvist as Mikael Blomkvist or Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth Salander. They were just as I imagined the characters when I read the book.

Anyone who has read Stieg Larsson knows how engrossing Lisbeth Salander’s and Mikael Blomkvist’s adventures are. I frankly did not think a movie could do the novel justice, and I’m delighted director Niels Oplev proved me wrong. Of course, the novel is Swedish, and this movie is Swedish — that may be the key factor. I shudder to think what the American version of the movie will be like.

I can’t wait to see the next two Swedish movie adaptations and already have them in my Netflix queue. I will probably buy all three and pop for Blu-Ray to boot. I hardly ever do that. This is great stuff.

Edge of Darkness (2010)

Edge of Darkness is a well-made action thriller with good cops, evil villains, plenty of blood and gore, revenge, even a bit of a supernatural twist. Mel Gibson is in the news for all the wrong reasons, and I know I should say I hated the movie because he’s in it, but the man is a good actor and he shines in these kinds of roles. We were entertained. If you don’t mind further enriching a sexist bigot and anti-Semite, rent it. You won’t be disappointed in the movie.
The White Ribbon (Das Weisse Band) (2009)

I’m not sure who’s pushing the story that this movie shows the genesis of later German fascism, its creators or the reviewers, but I don’t see it. The small village certainly harbors malign forces — feudalism, small-mindedness, incest, religious repression — but those forces exist in most small villages, in any era, in any country. Where some see a film about the birth of National Socialism, I see a German version of Tobacco Road. The White Ribbon shows humanity at its selfish, pig-headed worst, curiously surrounded by rural beauty. The young schoolmaster and his girlfriend offer the only glimpse of normalcy, and you’ll cling to them as the sordid tale unfolds around them. The story is engrossing, the acting impressive, the black & white photography stunning. The movie will repel you, touch you, and ultimately fascinate you.
Inception (2010)

You know what? If technology ever allows people to invade other peoples’ dreams, the people who’ll gravitate to it will be the same socially-inept stay-at-homes who gravitate to computer hacking. There wouldn’t be a Leonardo DiCaprio or Tom Hardy in the bunch. So that’s one thing. Another thing is that no matter how many levels of complexity or dreams within dreams Christoper Nolan and his screenwriters throw at us, none of it means anything. The ideas don’t affect us because they’re not relevant to the world we inhabit. Genius it may be, but it’s useless genius.

By all means, go see the movie. Leonardo DiCaprio is great, as is Ellen Page, who plays the level-headed voice of reason (and thank god there was one level-headed character in the script). The special effects are awesome. The violence is pure Hollywood — utterly unsurvivable, yet the characters keep getting back up. It’s an enjoyable two and a half hours. But like Christopher Nolan’s earlier layers-within-layers movie Memento, Inception is not life-changing or even particularly memorable.

Whip It (2009)

Be careful with Whip It. You might OD on uplift and cuteness, and next thing you know you’ll be spending the rent money on Hello Kitty merchandise. Ellen Page’s role, so very much like the one she played in Juno, seems to indicate she’s in danger of being typecast as the rebellious but wise-beyond-her-years teenager. She’s still young enough to get away with playing a high school girl, but that can’t last much longer and I hope to see her start branching out, as indeed she’s starting to do with movies like Inception. Still, you can’t help but love her character in Whip It, although to tell the truth, I was more smitten with a secondary character, Juliette Lewis as Iron Maven, Ellen Page’s roller derby rival. This really is a terrific movie, a feel-good experience from beginning to end, and I mean that in an honest, non-sarcastic way.

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