We went for a bicycle ride this morning with other members of our Trail Trash riding group. Along the way I had an unpleasant encounter with a motorist. Did it really spoil the ride? No, but it was shocking to me to realize how much some folks hate bicyclists.
We were riding south toward the University of Arizona campus on Mountain Avenue, probably the most bicycle-friendly street in Tucson. It’s lightly traveled, mostly by university students and faculty (and most of them on bicycles), with a 25 mph speed limit. It has well-maintained bike lanes on both sides, wide enough to ride two abreast, and curb-mounted “press to cross” buttons for bicyclists at every stoplight. One feels safe on such a street, but I’m here to tell you one should never let one’s guard down.
I was overtaking a slower rider who was not part of our group, a right Fred obliviously weaving left and right, hogging the entire bike lane. I had to move left to the white line separating the bike lane from the car lane to get by. As I pulled back into the bike lane in front of the weaver, I heard a car coming from behind, obviously accelerating hard. The driver started honking as he came abreast of me — this two full seconds after I’d passed the Fred, which meant he was nowhere close to me when I actually did the passing — making it clear he was going out of his way to be an asshole. As he sped past I couldn’t help uttering a hearty Fuck you!
He screeched to a stop and through his open passenger window yelled What the fuck did you say to me? I replied, sweetly, Fuck you! He then paced me for a block, yelling at me to stay off his fucking street, which was for fucking cars, not fucking bicycles. I exchanged a few more Fuck yous with him, and then he started speeding ahead, slamming on his brakes, yelling some more, speeding ahead, etc, finally swerving into the bicycle lane to cut me off and deliver a final threat, namely, to punch my fat fucking face in. I decided it was a fine day to die and responded with another Fuck you! Inexplicably, he sped off, never once having left the comfort of his car. In case he changed his mind, I noted the license plate number as he roared off down Mountain.
Ten minutes later, when we reached our midway coffee stop on 4th Avenue, my daughter Polly — who was riding one length behind me — told me the weaver had veered hard to the left as she started to pass, forcing her slightly into the car lane, and she had thought the motorist was honking at her, not me. I called the cops, reporting the guy and giving them his license plate number, but I fear the exercise was worth approximately nothing (is there something less than nothing?) since they didn’t take my name or phone number. This totally fits, by the way, with every report I’ve ever heard about Tucson law enforcement’s lack of interest in car/bicycle accidents and incidents, of which there are . . . a lot. Tucson a bicycle-friendly mecca? Don’t believe everything you hear.
You know what was interesting? The oblivitron who was zig-zagging in the bicycle lane, the Fred who set the stage for all that ensued? He never passed me during my altercation with the motorist, even though I had just passed him. He must have ducked into an alleyway when he saw trouble ahead. The chickenshit.
I wonder how close the asshole in the car came to actually ramming me? Certainly I should have known to keep my mouth shut when he passed me the first time, but sometimes my mouth has a mind of its own. Especially when it knows it’s in the right.
What if there had been no bike lane at all, and I had been sharing a lane with Mr. Enraged Motorist? Most Tucson streets lack bike lanes, and though we try to avoid such streets it’s not always possible. I’ve had drivers swerve to within inches of me on streets like that, going out of their way — like the guy today — to make the point that the road belongs to them, not to the likes of me.
What if the Fred who was weaving all over the bike lane had suddenly veered in front of the guy? Would our hostile motorist have been in the right to run the Fred down? No, of course not, and by the cut of his jib, I suspect he would have pulled a hit and run. I also suspect he votes Republican.
My god, I’m probably lucky to be alive! Maybe I’d better not wear my Obama/Biden 2008 jersey next time I ride! Or maybe I’ll just ride my other bike . . .
In encounters between bikes and cars, it probably pays to maintain one’s temper and just get the license plate number. You may be dead right.
Hey Boog, xTD here. I started out to write a simple suggestion to cover these situations – it looked like this.
Since there are assholes out there in predictable numbers, one thing you can do is assume they are following you. If I’m on Mountain Avenue, I’d probably wait to pass Fred until Asshole (assumed) – who I can see in my mirror – has gone by. He’d still be an asshole and probably would still yell at you – they do that – but he would have had to work harder to hit you.
As I rode my bike into work today, though, I reconsidered what I wanted to say. I’m now more concerned about the “Fuck You”s than I was this morning. First, I doubt the wisdom of pissing off a guy who is already pissed off, demonstrably insane, and in possession of the means to convert you to road kill. Second, and more important to me, is that I ride Mountain Avenue, and lots of other streets in Tucson besides. Do you see where I’m going with this?
It’s one of the TD rules for long life: don’t provoke cops or weirdos. Not. Worth. It.
-Dan
Paul,
I’m w/ you all the way. I would have been mad too. I too would have yelled at the guy. As a fundamentalist Christian I think I would’ve left off the F Y but maybe not. Sometimes a person just needs to use the most communicative words available. The principal I follow is that bullies need to be stood up to or they will hurt someone. Cowards make bullies worse. I applaud you for standing up to the guy.
With all that said, I want to say that I’m a republican. I have been a bike rider for decades. I was a very serious one for years, now it’s just recreation. In many ways, not all, I’m also a tree hugger, since it’s stupid to crap in your own bed. I care about social justice, charity for the needy and I’m incensed by any form of racism. Those last values I get from my faith that God made one couple and we are all descended from them. Most of my republican friends share these same values.
Again, I applaud you for your bravery. Take care.
Randy, I don’t know about standing up to a bully or being brave. I was just outraged, and my mouth ran off on its own. As you can see from the other comments, cogent arguments can be made for not letting one’s mouth run off on its own, and I am sensible of those arguments. Probably not in my DNA, but I’ll try to be more circumspect next time. Who knows, the next guy to try to run me down might be a Morgan Stanley money manager. I should be tugging my forelock and asking for pardon, maybe offering up my daughter, not raising my voice!
As for Republicans . . . first of all, my remark was a wisecrack. I don’t really believe all assholes are automatically Republican (just most of them). Second, you appear to be someone with good humanitarian values, what we used to call a “moderate Republican.” Based on my own encounters with Republicans, plus what I see on the news and hear on hate radio, I doubt there are many moderate Republicans left. Congratulations on being one. I hope you guys take the party over again some day.