I Dream Things that Never Were . . . Thank God

Last night I dreamed something was making noise just outside our front door.  Thinking (in the dream) it might be a wild animal, I snuck up to the door and quickly threw it open.  As it opened I saw something – a darkness in the darkness, human in size – just outside the door.  It screamed like a girl and dashed away.  Not knowing what else to do, I hunkered up like a bear, becoming very large, and shouted “RAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”  Suddenly I heard the jingling of my dog’s collar, and afraid that the dog would rush from the house out into the darkness, I turned around and shouted “RAAAAAAAAAAAH!” again.

I remember Donna waking me up and asking what I was shouting at.  I mumbled that it must have been a dream and went back to sleep.

Poor Donna!  This morning it dawned on me that the scream I heard in my dream was Donna’s.  I’m working early this month, going to bed at nine and getting up at four.  Donna comes to bed at ten-thirty, after the news, and considerately tries to get between the sheets without making a lot of commotion.  Last night I must have sensed her by the bed and written her into my dream.  I’m guessing I lunged at her when, in the dream, I was throwing open the front door.  She jumped and screamed, as any normal person would.  Then I screamed right back at her!

As we were screaming at each other, our dog Schatzi was probably prancing around the bedroom, trying to stay out of the way, so the jingling dog collar I heard in my dream was actually a jingling dog collar.  And then I screamed again!

What a night it must have been for Donna and Schatzi, sleeping next to a crazy man.  Me, I would have gone into the spare bedroom and locked the door.

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