{"id":25655,"date":"2010-02-22T17:48:32","date_gmt":"2010-02-23T00:48:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/?p=25655"},"modified":"2020-02-22T17:49:10","modified_gmt":"2020-02-23T00:49:10","slug":"tips-for-hash-scribes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/?p=25655","title":{"rendered":"Tips for Hash Scribes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Get it write, you slob\u2019s!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Most hashers are happy to help when trails need to be laid, beer hauled, or goodie bags stuffed. But when the trash needs to be written, it\u2019s like, \u201cHey, where\u2019d everybody go?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s because most of us are self-conscious about our writing. We worry about spelling, grammar, putting our thoughts into words and expressing them clearly. Mostly we worry that our fellow hashers will make fun of our writing. Putting words down on paper for everyone to see can be downright scary.<\/p>\n<p>But it shouldn\u2019t be scary. The principles of writing a good hash trash are simple and easy to remember. And in the spirit of making the hash a better place to be, I\u2019m going to share them with you! Just memorize this little list of rights &amp; wrongs:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Capitalize Sparingly.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cDear Flying Booger, We would like to solicit Your approval of Our Web Page as Cool Hash Page of The Month.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cdear flying booger, give us the award OR ELSE.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Apostrophe\u2019s are Your Friend.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cHash T-Shirts for Sale.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cHash T-Shirt\u2019s for Sale.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Except When it Comes to Your.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cYou\u2019re a great hash scribe. I love your hash trash.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cYour a great hash scribe. I love you\u2019re hash trash.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Avoid Hurt Feelings with Gender-Neutral Pronouns.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cThe harrier put his hashit down and said he was sorry.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cThe person put their hashit down and said it was sorry.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>The Passive Voice is Avoided.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cPrivate parties are not held by Hashers in this circle.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cPrivate party! Drink it down, down, down, down . . . \u201c<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Trust Your Ears.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cOur GM\u2019s a tyrant, for all intents and purposes. He makes us say the Pledge, you know, \u2018and to the republic for which it stands . . . \u2018\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cOur GM\u2019s a tyrant, for all intensive purposes. He makes us say the Pledge, you know, \u2018and to the republic for Richard Stands . . . \u2018\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Paid Attention to Tenses.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cI am going to the hash yesterday.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cI went to the hash. I am going yesterday.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>\u201cQuote\u201d People Accurately.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cLarry said, \u2018Flying Booger committed libel against me.\u2019\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cLarry said, and I quote, \u2018Flying Booger commited liable against me.\u2019\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>The End of a Sentence is Not a Place to Put a Preposition at.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cAccess Denied ended his sentence with a preposition.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cA preposition is what Access Denied ended his sentence with.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Righter: \u201cEnded with a preposition, Access Denied, the sentence of.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Alittle Goes Along Way.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cA good hare uses a lot of flour.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cAgood hare uses alot of flour.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Strive for Elegance.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cWho is accusing who of auto-hashing here?\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cI say, whom is accusing whom of auto-hashing here, old chap?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Sprinkle Your Writing with Realistic Dialect.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cIs that Pabst Blue Ribbon?\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cHooeee! That be some mutherfuckin\u2019 lame-ass beer!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Commas are Common; Semi-Colons are Upper Crust.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cThats quite a trail, you laid there.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cThat;s quite a trail; you laid there.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Sentence Fragments Leave You Hanging.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cThe hash was.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cThe hash was. Really long.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>The Pluperfect Subjunctive Has it\u2019s Uses.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cCan a visiting harrier get laid in Boston?\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cCan a visiting harrier get scrod in Boston?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Grammar Can be Fun, Too!<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cTwo rules: Avoid split infinitives and dangling participles.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cHeh heh heh! Colon! Split! Dangle! Heh heh heh heh heh heh!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Exclamation Points are for Emphasis!!!<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cWatch out! Fart Master\u2019s passing a new computer virus around!\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cWatch out!!!!! Fart Master\u2019s passing a new computer virus around!!!!!!! That fucking idiot!!!!!!!!!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Improper Nouns Indicate Improper Thoughts.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wrong: \u201cHe put his finger in her snatch.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Right: \u201cHe inserted his questing love digit into her Tunnel of Love.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Hey, it\u2019s that simple, harriers &amp; harriettes! Just print this list and tape it to the wall by your typewriter or computer, and you need never be ashamed of your writing again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Get it write, you slob\u2019s! Most hashers are happy to help when trails need to be laid, beer hauled, or goodie bags stuffed. But when the trash needs to be written, it\u2019s like, \u201cHey, where\u2019d everybody go?\u201d That\u2019s because most of us are self-conscious about our writing. We worry about spelling, grammar, putting our thoughts [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25655","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hash-house-harriers"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25655","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=25655"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25655\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25656,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25655\/revisions\/25656"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=25655"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=25655"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=25655"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}