{"id":25639,"date":"2010-02-22T17:29:06","date_gmt":"2010-02-23T00:29:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/?p=25639"},"modified":"2020-02-22T17:29:56","modified_gmt":"2020-02-23T00:29:56","slug":"a-new-hope","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/?p=25639","title":{"rendered":"A New Hope"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Luke:<\/em>\u00a0You were in a hash kennel?<\/p>\n

Ben:<\/em>\u00a0I was once a Hash House Harrier, the same as your father.<\/p>\n

Luke:<\/em>\u00a0My father wasn\u2019t a Hash House Harrier. He was a navigator on a space freighter.<\/p>\n

Ben:<\/em>\u00a0That\u2019s what your mother told you. She didn\u2019t hold with your father\u2019s hashing. She thought he should stay home. Not drink until four in the morning and then piss in his knickers.<\/p>\n

Luke:<\/em>\u00a0I wish I had known him, when he could drink.<\/p>\n

Ben:<\/em>\u00a0He was a cunning hare, and the best biermeister in the galaxy. He was a good hasher. I understand you\u2019ve become quite a boozer yourself. For over five years he got so curbed he could hardly function. Before the Dark Times. Before the Skirt.<\/p>\n

Luke:<\/em>\u00a0How did my father become a lamer?<\/p>\n

Ben:<\/em>\u00a0A young harriette named Dorothy Vader, namely your mother, who was pretty cool herself until she turned to temperance, helped other women hunt down and destroy the Hash House Harriers. She betrayed and civilized the hasher who was once your father. Your mother was seduced by the Dark Side of the Beer.<\/p>\n

Luke:<\/em>\u00a0The Beer?<\/p>\n

Ben: [smiles]<\/em>\u00a0Yes, the Beer is what gives a Hash House Harrier his power. It surrounds us. Penetrates us. Binds the galaxy together. And makes us yell \u201cHead? Who said Head? I\u2019ll take some of that!\u201d Which reminds me. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your mother wouldn\u2019t allow it. She thought you\u2019d follow the Hash House Harriers into hyper-space to find the Death Keg.<\/p>\n

Luke:<\/em>\u00a0What is it?<\/p>\n

Ben:<\/em>\u00a0Your father\u2019s beer mug. The vessel of a Hash House Harrier. Not as random or clumsy as swilling straight from the spigot. An elegant vessel from a less civilized age . . .<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away . . . Luke:\u00a0You were in a hash kennel? Ben:\u00a0I was once a Hash House Harrier, the same as your father. Luke:\u00a0My father wasn\u2019t a Hash House Harrier. He was a navigator on a space freighter. Ben:\u00a0That\u2019s what your mother told you. She didn\u2019t hold with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25639","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hash-house-harriers"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25639","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=25639"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25639\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25640,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25639\/revisions\/25640"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=25639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=25639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=25639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}