{"id":25610,"date":"2010-02-22T12:07:55","date_gmt":"2010-02-22T19:07:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/?p=25610"},"modified":"2020-11-21T09:27:14","modified_gmt":"2020-11-21T16:27:14","slug":"ask-dr-down-down-apr-1997","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/?p=25610","title":{"rendered":"Ask Dr. Down-Down: Apr 1997"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Dr. Down-Down,<\/em><\/p>\n

I was thinking about hash elections for some reason. Every one I\u2019ve seen goes something like this: the GM desperately goes around the hash asking everyone to do something, and asking all his committee members to do the same. Eventually they manage to find hashers for the various jobs. These people are then presented to the hash as candidates and are \u201cvoted in.\u201d In my opinion, this is how desperate communists hold \u201celections.\u201d Don\u2019t you agree?<\/em><\/p>\n

On On,
\nP\u2019tooey (aka Jonners), in the Great White North<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear P\u2019tooey,<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know … there are a lot of ways to pull off hash elections. Here are a few I\u2019ve seen used:<\/p>\n

1. The GM hogs all the beer for himself, then steals the hash cash and equipment, then steals the money and personal items from pack members\u2019 bags, then steals everything from their houses, then steals their houses, then declares an election for which he is the only candidate, then wins with 99.7% of the popular \u201cvote.\u201d He finally becomes old, ill, and feeble, at which point the pack courageously revolts, replacing him with a new GM who\u2019ll do the same thing first chance he gets. I think of this as the \u201cMobutu\u201d technique, but have also heard it called the \u201cgeneric dictator\u201d scenario.<\/p>\n

2. The GM calls for hash elections but throws out the results because he doesn\u2019t like them. This is called the \u201cbrazen communist\u201d scenario, aka \u201cthe Slobodan Special.\u201dFactions within the hash turn against each other, destroying the hash and thus removing the reason for holding elections in the first place. Most members quit hashing; a few leave and start hashing with other kennels or start new ones. I bet a lot of hashers could put names to this scenario; I call it the \u201cRawandan Recount.\u201d<\/p>\n

3. The pack elects a GM who does nothing. It soon transpires that the reason the GM is so ineffective is that he\u2019s expired, but for some reason he can\u2019t be replaced. Chaos and anarchy ensue, which isn\u2019t so bad, this being the hash and all. This is known as the \u201cBoris\u201d technique, sometimes called the \u201cdead communist.\u201d<\/p>\n

4. Ah, never mind . . . I was going to really stretch here with a \u201cLincoln Bedroom Pajama Party for the Rich\u201d scenario, but with White House news releases coming out almost hourly now, each revelation exponentially more hilarious than the one before, respectfully demur. It\u2019d be like trying to make fun of Ebonics . . . how can you improve on comedic perfection?<\/p>\n

But out of all the hash elections I\u2019ve observed, this scenario stands out above all others:<\/p>\n

5. Mismanagement realizes they got their jobs in the first place is because they\u2019re the only ones with such pathetic lives they\u2019re willing to do all that work for the hash. One might call this the \u201creal life\u201d scenario. And hashers everywhere should treat their mismanagement to many beers!<\/p>\n

On On,
\nDr. Down-Down<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Dr. Down-Down, I was thinking about hash elections for some reason. Every one I\u2019ve seen goes something like this: the GM desperately goes around the hash asking everyone to do something, and asking all his committee members to do the same. Eventually they manage to find hashers for the various jobs. These people are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25610","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hash-house-harriers"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=25610"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25610\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27481,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25610\/revisions\/27481"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=25610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=25610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=25610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}