{"id":2409,"date":"2009-07-10T22:31:15","date_gmt":"2009-07-11T05:31:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/?p=2409"},"modified":"2012-02-14T11:55:27","modified_gmt":"2012-02-14T18:55:27","slug":"my-interspecies-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/?p=2409","title":{"rendered":"My Interspecies Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><center><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"420\" height=\"315\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/FfOMGefMXTE\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/center><\/p>\n<p>Boy, I remember how upset my parents were when I told them I was marrying an Italian girl.\u00a0 &#8220;How can you turn your back on your own species?&#8221; they cried.\u00a0 But I was blinded by love and wouldn&#8217;t listen.\u00a0 Oh, we suffered for our love.\u00a0 Society turned its back on us.\u00a0 Restaurants wouldn&#8217;t serve us.\u00a0 We had to camp by the side of the road . . . no motel would take us in.\u00a0 Back in those days, it was actually illegal to marry a creature of another species, you see.\u00a0 But we were young and bull-headed.<\/p>\n<p>So was our first child.\u00a0 Bull-headed, that is.\u00a0 It&#8217;s the sort of thing that can happen when different species interbreed, and we knew we were taking a risk when we decided to have children.\u00a0 But there he was, little horns and all, and we loved him and raised him to be the best man-calf he could be.\u00a0 Our second child is almost fully human, and can actually pass for white (unless you look at her eyes real close).\u00a0 Why, she almost got a job as a Fox News anchor, until they found out she had more than an eighth-grade education and wasn&#8217;t a member of the Klan.<\/p>\n<p>Well, to hell with Fox.\u00a0 I love my wife and children, and if we don&#8217;t match the white Christian family demographic Fox caters to, too bad.\u00a0 Now if you&#8217;ll excuse me, the wife and I are going to couple, and with luck, produce additional interspecies offspring.\u00a0 Here&#8217;s to the mongrelization of America!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Boy, I remember how upset my parents were when I told them I was marrying an Italian girl.\u00a0 &#8220;How can you turn your back on your own species?&#8221; they cried.\u00a0 But I was blinded by love and wouldn&#8217;t listen.\u00a0 Oh, we suffered for our love.\u00a0 Society turned its back on us.\u00a0 Restaurants wouldn&#8217;t serve us.\u00a0 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2409","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture","category-media"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2409","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2409"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2409\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9154,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2409\/revisions\/9154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2409"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2409"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pwoodford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}