Boring!
Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013 by Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.
Header graphic by Flying Booger
|
Note: today’s trash was written by a non-participant … but I was there in spirit, damn it!
 Flying Booger, Zorro, Yoda, Appendage, Tucson Slew, NHN Pepper, Communicable Disease (photo by Pick’n'Flick) Zorro hared today’s trail, which started and ended in Udall Park. The pack consisted of only three hashers: Yoda, Communicable Disease, and Tucson Slew. Oh, and CD & Slew’s dog Pepper, whose first trail this was. Appendage had to sit it out, as did Flying Booger, and since Pick’n'Flick rode with FB and didn’t get there until the end, she missed trail too.
When we were all together at the end, we realized that all but one of us (Zorro, and he’s a 50-something) qualify as senior citizens by any & all legal definitions. One of us is a cancer patient, halfway through chemo. One of us just had a knee replaced and is wearing an antibiotic infusion bag feeding through a catheter. One of us just had her third hip replacement surgery and has to use a walker.
I’m thinking the Pima Independent Sunday Social Hash House Harriers will soon need a new name. How does the Pima Assisted Living Sunday Social Hash sound to you?
Next month: Yoda is haring near Pima College West on Sunday, April 14. Details TBA.
I’m recovering from a knee replacement, so I missed the February Pedalfiles Bash on Sunday. Looks like I missed another memorable trail. The hares, Deep Dish and Is It In Yet?, pursued by Hash Jive and Pearl of the Andes, Arthur Gash, and Redheaded Woodpecker, bashed through neighborhood streets and alleys northward to the Rillito bike path and then on to a favorite beer check destination, Shooter’s Steakhouse, followed by a leisurely tour of Winterhaven and eventually on-home to Deep Dish’s house. Along the way Hash Jive and Pearl took an unannounced shortcut to Deep Dish’s, creating some consternation among the remaining pack members, who at the time were fighting off an attack by feral Winterhaven turkeys, pedaling for their lives as enraged gobblers pecked at their ankles, all while juggling cell phones to determine the location of their missing pack members, who had possibly been devoured by turkeys … hey, it could have happened!
 Can you even believe I found a photo of a turkey attacking a bicyclist? Can you believe it? Google Images fucking ROCKS! Meanwhile, Flying Booger and Pick’n'Flick broke into Deep Dish’s back yard to await the arrival of the pack. Let’s see, bash start time was 10 AM, so a 12:30 PM arrival time should be just about on, right? Wrong. FB & Pick waited about an hour before their cell phones started ringing with calls from Redheaded Woodpecker looking for Hash Jive and Pearl, followed by the arrival of the missing couple, followed about an hour later by near-simultaneous arrival of the hares and pack. Oh, and Fat Chicks showed up to kibbutz with us and join the circle … please forgive me if I got that wrong: if you rode trail, Fatty, I’m sorry. Fat Chicks, I have been informed, rode with the pack. Anyway, it was a pleasant afternoon talking trail, turkeys, and BTs with no checks, catching up with 3IY, Fatty, and Arthur Gash, bashers we don’t get to see that often. Brats were grilled, Deep Dish’s hospitality was generous as always, beer was consumed.
Redheaded Woodpecker announced that Illegal Entry and Duct Tape Donna will hare the next Pedalfiles bash on Sunday, the 12th17th of March, details to be announced. With any luck I’ll be able to ride that one.
Added (later, same day):
 On-afters at Manor Dish (L to R: 3IY, Fatty, Woodpecker, Flying Booger, Pick’n'Flick, Hash Jive, Pearl, Arthur Gash (back to camera) On On!
For newer hashers, Hash-L is the hash e-mail list. It used to be hosted on the USC server; today it’s hosted at harrier.org. I access it here. It used to be the only online forum for hashers and back in its heyday was always hopping. Today, with HashSpace and Facebook, it’s less active. Sometimes I think it’s finally gone toes up, but then it’ll spring back to life, at least for a little while.
I haven’t run a membership query recently, but last time I did there were about 250 subscribers. That’s almost as many as it had back in the day. Most are lurkers. Posts and responses tend to come from a core group of 50 or so members (I’m making these numbers up but I’ll bet they’re pretty close).
The thing is, even as quiet as it sometimes gets, it’s a more active information & opinion exchange than Facebook and HashSpace combined. In the last two weeks Hash-L has hosted wide-ranging conversations on topics ranging from the upcoming InterAmericas Hash in Panama, trail marks (started by yours truly), whether or not the harrier clubs who preceded the hash used checks, a debate over laying trail to keep fast and slow runners together, and even that old perennial, cans versus kegs. This week alone there have been 48 messages. Go check the hashing group pages on Facebook or the forum on Hashspace. There’s no comparison. Hash-L is still king.
If you’re not a subscriber, you’re missing out. You can sign up here. And it’s okay if you just want to lurk.
January, one week after a vicious cold snap, blue skies and temperatures in the low 70s … what a perfect day for a bash!
Spot Remover & Missed a Spot invited us to meet them this morning at the corner of Tanque Verde and Sabino Canyon. They promised a 12-15 mile trail with hills and water crossings. A small pack of masochists turned out: Redheaded Woodpecker, Loose Nut, Yoda & Appendage, Deep Dish, Flying Booger & Pick’n'Flick.
Trail was everything the Spots said it would be, and more. The hills were there, along with two water crossings and a long portage across a dry wash, plus some terrific loops through some scenic Sabino Canyon neighborhoods. The beer check was 10 miles in at Chauteau Spot, followed by a 5-miler back to the start. On-Afters were at Nimbus Brewery on Tanque Verde.
At the circle the hares were honored with the hashshit for using authentic hippie-style sand-colored organic flour, leaving several misleading turn indications, and an innovative trail mark I’m particularly proud of (since I taught them everything they know): a true trail arrow accompanied by the letters “TT” (just in case we didn’t realize we were looking at a true trail arrow). TT will forever be my one contribution to hashing!
It was a grand morning. Everyone had a great time. Trail was right up there with the best ones we’ve ridden. All in all, a truly shitty bash!
Here are some photos I took. Click the thumbnails to see ‘em bigger on Flickr.
 First water crossing |
 Second water crossing |
 Flying Booger takes the plunge |
 Beer check @ Casa de Spot |
It rained all weekend and right up to an hour before the start of this month’s bash, but a bash is a bash so we loaded the bikes and drove to the start at Fruchthendler School on Cloud Road. We arrived to find the hares, Illegal Entry and Redheaded Woodpecker, in the middle of an argument over which way to go. I loaned them a map and that seemed to settle them down, but I could tell they still had conflicting ideas about the trail. Here they are leaving the start.
 Hares away! Despite the gloomy morning, by bash time we had blue skies with scattered clouds and a larger-than expected pack. Pick’n'Flick and I were there, along with Missed a Spot and Spot Remover, who brought along prospective son-in-law Elliott to test his hash worthiness. Illegal Entry also brought a virgin, Donna. We were joined by transplanted DC hasher Loose Nut, and at the last minute by Hash Jive. Hares of two, pack of eight, skies of blue, oh ain’t it great, has anybody seen the trail? Uh, sorry. Couldn’t help myself.
The first thing we saw after leaving the school was a huge swath of white where some fool had spilled a gallon or two of paint. Ignoring it, we continued down Cloud Road, but after a while it became obvious there was no trail so we backtracked. And what do you know, the paint turned out to be someone’s entire supply of flour! We discovered later it was Illegal Entry’s. Good thing she had a co-hare!
 Every hare’s nightmare Trail went into some really cool neighborhoods none of us even knew existed, virgin territory for the Pedalfiles, winding east and north from the school to Cloud Ranch, then up to Sunrise & Kolb and back downhill to the start. Your humble scribe bailed when the going got tough and rode back to the start to find the hares setting up on-in mimosas on the hood of a car. Now that they weren’t arguing they looked almost like friends.
 The hares, Illegal Entry & Redheaded Woodpecker The pack rode in shortly after and we hit the mimosas. After a while we realized Hash Jive was not among us. He’s a slow rider, but not as slow as me, so I fished out my cell phone and gave him a call. He sounded like he was panting so I assumed he was on an uphill stretch, but then I heard Pearl of the Andes’ voice in the background. I asked him what was going on and he broke down and confessed to bailing too … part of the trail went by his house so he decided to park the bike and have Pearl give him a ride back to the A, but not before knocking off the quickie I interrupted with my call. Well played, sir!
On-afters were at the Hog Pit on Tanque Verde, where we discovered that Illegal’s virgin Donna had a shady past involving motorcycle gangs and duct tape, so our esteemed GM Woodpecker decreed an early naming. Be it known by all present, henceforth and forevermore, etc, etc, that Duct Tape Donna is now a hasher! Hash Jive and Illegal shared the Hashit, he for spilling his seed, she for spilling her flour. Pick’n'Flick took this nice group photo … jeez, you’d never know it had been overcast and raining two hours earlier!
 L to R: Pearl, Hash Jive, Woodpecker, Illegal, Duct Tape Donna, Spot Remover, Missed a Spot, Elliott, Loose Nut, Flying Booger See you next month on Sunday, January the 20th, when Is It In Yet? promises to borrow a bike and throw some kind of trail together. On On!
 Winterhaven So no one wanted to hare yesterday, so we met anyway for a non-hash event, a nighttime stroll through Tucson’s Winterhaven neighborhood, where every December residents put on the Griswold dog with the Festival of Lights. Naturally this being a non-hashing event organized by yours truly, Flying Booger, we were there a week early before all the houses were decorated, and our on-after pub’s kitchen was closed, and everyone went home early.
The pack was quite small: Flying Booger and Pick’n'Flick with an as-yet-unnamed auxiliary dachshund, Yoda and Appendage, and Zorro. Joining Yoda and Appendage were two NHN virgin couples from Green Valley. As mentioned many of the homes in Winterhaven were still undecorated, but more than a dozen were, and we had a good time looking at them. By this time next week all the homes will be lit up like Hong Kong whorehouses and the streets will be packed with rubbernecking civilians, so maybe we picked a good time to walk through after all.
The good part is we didn’t leave any flour on the ground, because all the other hashes in Tucson are planning trails through Winterhaven soon!
If you’d like to see more Winterhaven photos from last night, they’re on my other blog. Happy holidays, hashers!
Note: it’s been so long since I posted a mash trash I figure I’d better remind hashers that a mash is a motorcycle hash.
I don’t know why, but it feels like we missed a couple of monthly Harriers MCH3 mashes. Oh, right … we did miss a couple of monthly Harriers MCH3 mashes! No one showed up to ride in August, and in September I was on a long non-mash motorcycle tour in California and Nevada. October I think I just plain forgot, along with everyone else. So when Woodpecker asked me at last week’s bicycle hash if we were ever going to ride our motorcycles again, I decided I’d better throw together a November mash. And so today, picking up where we left off with the ride I originally planned for August, starting at a coffee house on Tucson’s east side and then south to Sonoita and west to Patagonia.
 In Patagonia: Flying Booger, Green Flagger, Wankers Aweigh There were only three us us on the road today, but what else is new? No Woodpecker, but what else is new? No Humpin’, but what else is new? No El Paso, but … well, you get the idea. I was there with my Goldwing and Wankers Aweigh was there with his Beemer, and that makes a quorum. Add our virgin masher, Green Flagger on her Ducati, and we have a filibuster! Or a posse. Or something.
 Wankers & Flagger in Sonoita Flagger did her best to hold us up this morning. Her throttle was sticking and Wankers and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it, so we contemplated throttle linkage mechanics over a cup of coffee and after a while it occurred to us to check whether anything was rubbing against it. Sure enough, the bar-end mirror on her right handgrip was clamped too close to the throttle, making it bind. For a change I had the right tool in my saddlebag, and pretty soon we were on the road.
We rode back roads to Corona de Tucson and Sonoita, where we stopped for a quick regroup, then on to Patagonia for lunch at the Velvet Elvis. After lunch I told a nice Canadian biker chick I’d buy her an order of poutine if she’d take our photo for the mash trash. I could tell she wanted to ask me what a mash trash was, but since I didn’t know what poutine was I figured we were even.
From Patagonia, it was easier for Wankers to ride to his west side home via Nogales and I-19, so we parted ways. Wankers rode off west, Flagger and I rode back the way we came, the mash went in peace.
Next time you see Green Flagger, be sure to welcome her to Harriers MCH3! And keep an eye out for the next mash announcement. It’ll be on Christmas Eve Eve, December 23rd, and I’ll post the start location and time on our Facebook page and by email. On On!
Probably one of the best days of the year for a bicycle hash, cool and sunny, and who shows up? The hard core, the harriers and harriettes who’d have shown up even if it was raining or snowing. Not a fair weather basher in sight!
Since Redheaded Woodpecker and Yoda had taken first and second place in yesterday’s annual El Tour de Tucson bicycle race (not really), we didn’t expect a long trail. And Woodpecker delivered. Trail was approximately 35 miles long (okay, 10), all uphill (flat), and directly into the path of a 30-knot headwind (if by “30 knots” one means “near calm”) .
Photos? But of course. Here we are at Himmel Park, getting ready to hit the trail.
 Flying Booger, Deep Dish, Spot Remover, Redheaded Woodpecker (photo by Appendage) Of course, Yoda was busy chatting up total strangers, but I was able to take his photo just before the start.
 Yoda looks great after El Tour, but his bike is showing the strain And then there was The One Who Wasn’t There.
 The elusive Womb with a View (some of us are beginning to doubt her existence) Woodpecker’s trail looped through the Sam Hughes, University, and North University neighborhoods, with plenty of turns on power, check backs (including a nice long one up Mountain Avenue), and a tricky DP that had us going three different directions on Elm Avenue, which is hard to do since there are normally only the two directions available, east and west. But we’re bashers, so we did! Eventually, though, all good things must end, and we found ourselves pedaling south on Treat and back into Himmel Park.
 On-Afters at Bob Dobbs: Woodpecker, Deep Dish, Spot Remover, Yoda, Appendage Woodpecker presided over a short circle at Bob Dobbs. We honored our hare for laying a shitty trail, and Deep Dish volunteered Is It In Yet as our December hare. He’s somewhere in Colorado right now, pushing his big rig through the snow and ice, so this may come as a surprise to him. Recognizing that he may already have other plans, we named a backup hare, none other than the recipient of this month’s hashshit award, Womb with a View, who earned the Pedalfiles’ highest honor by promising to come and then not showing up. We love ya, WWAV!
And then Deep Dish, after flirting shamelessly with the waiter and scoring free beer and turkey sandwiches for the table, rode away into the sunset.
 See you for our next bash on Sunday, December 16!
|
|
