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Shit Happens Delivers the Money Shot

I know two porn stars who hash: A Stitch In Time Saved Mine (John Wayne Bobbit) and Captain Zero (Dave Cummings). I also know a hasher who looks like a porn star, Shit Happens, founder of the Happy Heretics H3 in Mt Pleasant, South Carolina:

muddy, doofus, shit copy

Shit Happens (center) w/ Muddy & Doofus

You thought I was kidding, am I right?

Born Chuck Magera in Louisville, Kentucky, Shit Happens started hashing in 1989, not long after I did. In his 25 years of hashing, he’s covered more ground than me, to the point where I bow in his general direction and proclaim, “I am not worthy!”

Shit Happens has been active in hash mismanagement, serving stints as a GM, RA, Beermeister, and OnSec. I always ask the hashers I interview what their general hashing preferences are: Shit Happens likes his hashes mixed, and he loves a circle that sings. When it comes to trails, he’s an advocate of A to As, or as he says, “A to A prime.”

Most of the younger hashers I interview think the only way to set a trail is to hare it live … sadly, during their formative hashing years they were lied to about the nature of hashing and think it’s some kind of race. I’m delighted to meet in Shit Happens a hare after my own heart, who dead hares his trails in the enlightened knowledge that a pre-laid trail can be far more inventive and challenging than a live trail.

I salute you, Shit Happens!

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Shit Happens, when was your first hash?

September 1989.

How did you find out about hashing?

My best friend at the time (Boboran) went and got named. He waited till after he got named and then invited me … I was a serious runner at the time (70 -100 miles/week), and loved it so much that  I went 257 consecutive weeks without missing a trail …  my running went to hell, but my hashing went way up

Why are you named Shit Happens?

Have had two hash names, my first was “Upchuck” since the group could not think of anything original. In 1992, a whole lot of crazy stuff happened in a short period of time (?ivorce, breaking both arms, face and nose, and getting arrested) and I was renamed Shit Happens. I also have a Palatka name of “Fucks on a Tractor” and DC name of “Ron Jeremy.”

Did you have a hashing mentor?

Three actually, first one was Wandering Dick from Columbian H3 who is now deceased. He taught me to respect my hash elders. He was around 65 when I first starting hashing and would come to Charleston often to hash. and then there was Jackoff from the Charleston H3, who taught me to travel, and lots of other pearls of wisdom. Plus he allowed numerous hash events on his property, many of which are now legendary. And then there is Mr Jackson from Rumson. Holy cow, when I grow up, I want to be like him. I was fortunate enuf to be invited and attend his 80th birthday recently. He has more fun than 99% of the hashing population, and he looks great, and is truly a nice guy. I just hope I last as long as he has …

When & where was your first away hash?

GA/FL at Tybee Island probably 91 or 92.

Where have you hashed?

43 states and 29 countries … stats are on Where Have U Hashed. By the total sort count, I am currently ranked 15th in the world.

Are there places you haven’t hashed but would like to?

I would like to be the 3rd person to hash all 50 states. Would love to hash more in Asia and Russia.

Are there places where you wouldn’t consider hashing?

I am scared to go to Africa … sorry, but with AIDS and Ebola, I have no desire to hash there….

Do you have any favorite haring techniques?

Yep, I love to pre-lay a trail with hundreds of checks to enable the walkers to keep up with the fast runners. I frequently do YBFs to make sure the fast runners get a good workout. I don’t know who taught me this, probably something I brought back from Dallas or Houston, but its really cool when the walkers and FRBs finish at the same time.

What’s the best thing that ever happened to you at a hash?

I did meet a couple of my ex-wives at hashes, one good, and one bad … but the best thing was that at US Nash hash at Deadwood, SD in May of 08, on the Friday nite trail in Deadwood. I stopped at a the first casino I saw, and after 5 hands, won $33,000 playing Let It Ride … I gave away over $14,000 to hashers and civilians who were there … also hit big in Vegas, Bullhead city, and  Tahoe….

What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you at a hash?

Back when I was skinnier, I was running the Columbia Red Dress run, and tripped and broke my arm when I stepped on my full length red dress. I also passed out in Orlando in 95 on the long trail (21 miles) on Saturday as I had run 120 miles that week, and wasn’t drinking enuf electrolytes … the trail was great, but only had water at the stops, and ended up with  Hyponatremia … I was fully conscious, but couldn’t pick myself off the ground. They sent a Jeep in the woods with Gatorade to pick me up, and I was fine, but the doctor at the on-in made me ride the naked bus instead of running the next day (darn).

What is the most dangerous trail you’ve done?

Two mos ago, the idiots here decided to run during a lightning storm. I have had two friends killed by lightning, and I took shelter on a church  porch and stayed there till it stopped. The idiots kept running. Lightning struck a tree not more than 100 yards from where I was. We were damn lucky no one was killed.

What have been your most remarkable hashing experiences?

Traveling and meeting new people. I have been all over the world. Most people think they have “seen it all.” I am still finding new places to go. Its great to go to another state or country and have a hasher put you up, sight unseen, and show you the ropes. I was also fortunate enuf to meet a hasher who worked for US Airways who put me down as his domestic partner. I flew FREE for over 5 years, and would pick a hash to go to by how many available seats were on the plane. I went to Amsterdam 43 times, flew to the West Coast over 20 times, and hashed over 100x in the UK … I flew so much one year that my domestic partner got a letter from the airline telling him that I flew more miles than anyone else in their system. I would look at the hash calendar on Thursday or Friday at work, check what seats were available, and then take off. Since I worked for the state, I got 73 paid days off a year. When we had furloughs for weeks at a time, my co-workers all complained; however, I just smiled,and headed off to the airport.

If you could pick the location of a future Interhash, where would it be, and why?

I would love for it to come to the States, preferably Vegas or New Orleans. I would be happy to assist, as I put on large running events for a living and have lots of experience putting on hash events. I am tired of having to fly ½ way around the world to attend an Interhash event. I know its a lot of work, but at the present rate, it WILL NEVER LEAVE PANASIA, and that knocks off about 90% of most American hashers. As you know, international hashing is NOT a cheap proposition. I don’t think I have ever spent less than $4-5000 to attend an Interhash. I wish that more good hashers could afford to go to Interhash as it really is a life-changing experience, after the first one (KL) I was hooked … I kick myself in the butt for not going to Cypress or Rotorua.

What do you most love about hashing? What keeps you coming back?

The people and camaraderie. I am closer to my “hash family” then I am with my biological family. These are the people who have seen me thru hard times and have been there to celebrate my accomplishments. I can truly say that ALL of my best friends are hashers.

What part of hashing could you do without (if anything)?

The bullshit and craziness that the new people have brought to the hash. Violence and meanness have no place at the hash. Neither does dumping buckets of sludge on people, trashing hotels, and stealing hashers’ stuff, nor does sharpying people when they are asleep. New hashers simply do not respect their elders, nor traditions.

Have your attitudes toward hashing or hashers changed over the years?

Yep, I used to do every trail every time. I now have adopted the Zippy tradition and rarely ever leave camp … however, I did do six trails while I was in Europe for Interhash2 (Brussels). I will do a trail if it’s in a scenic place and is well laid. As far as my attitude towards hashers is concerned, there used to be very few hashers I didn’t like. Nowadays, its a crap shoot … when you show up at hashes, there may be 50% assholes. As Jackoff would say, “It’s not right, it’s not wrong, it’s just different” … that’s right, but you still don’t need to be an asshole (or act like one). Its not cool to throw flour at a Waffle House and say “It’s OK, its not antrhrax”’… that’s just stupid, but it happened.

Has hashing affected your personal or professional life (for good or ill)?

I was a state attorney for 30 years until I retired four years ago (I put people in jail for a living). It was a great stress relief for me and provided great stories on Monday for my colleagues who were living vicariously thru me … there were many Monday morning debriefing stories in my office. I live to hash these days, as I am retired and have nothing better to do. Unfortunately, my race business gets in the way sometime and I have to show up late. 99% of my trips now are hash-related.

Do you tell everyone you meet about the hash, or only people you think might become good hashers?

I am more discreet in who I invite now. We already have enuf assholes in the hash. I know that Houston H4 did a survey years ago, and only 5% of virgins who came out stuck around to become full time hashers. That was a stat that sticks with me today. Hashing is not for everyone. You really have to be a “certain kind of person” to stick with it … I know most of the people on the top of the ‘Where have I hashed” list, and I’m sure they feel the same way I do….

Are there certain things all hashers should believe in?

Yep, respect your hash elders and hash traditions. If not the hash will die out. All too often I have seen a new group come to the hash and want to change things around. Supposedly, there are “no rules” in hashing, but there are some pretty damn strong traditions that need to be preserved for future hash generations. No one would dare tell Rumson not to hash at 10:17AM on Saturday, nor tell the Trash to quit bibbing … it’s part of what makes them what they are. So you new people who are reading this, DONT CHANGE TRADITIONS!

What do you think you’ve contributed to hashing?

I Love to set pub crawls, and have organized some of the  best ones around. Ask the 63 people on Babe’s Hash Cruise last year about the trail I set in Old Town Puerto Rico, where I flew down there just to set trail. I credit this still from Otis from Orlando who taught me everything I know. I  also love hosting large hash events, and when I do so, I make the promise that if you didn’t have a GREAT, not good, GREAT time, I will double your money back. In over 25 years of doing this, I haven’t given a dime back yet.

What’s in your hashing future?

I will be hosting the 20th Analversary of NC/SC for my 60th Bday next year in Charleston (an event I started for my 40th Bday). I am planning on finishing my 50 states next year, and will follow Babe Thruster’s Hash cruise next August by plane (like I did this year). I am also planning on setting the post lube pub crawl on Monday after Interam in Oregon (with the Orlando people who started that tradition). I also want to travel more to Europe, but its tough to do everything. As my good buddy Anal Recreation would say, “So many parties, so little time.”

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