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Coming Soon: White Robe Runs?

So this white chick joins a hash.  Her black boyfriend joins too.  They feel welcomed, they love the camaraderie, they can’t wait to get their hash names and become full members.  She has one or two more trails under her belt than he does, so her naming comes first.  The hash, during a rowdy circle, names her Spearchucker Fucker.  Someone in the naming circle explains that it’s better than Nigger Lover.  They think they’re being funny.  Racists?  Who, us?

Well, at least I can say it didn’t happen here.  But that’s nothing to be proud of.  It happened at the hash, it happened in my country, and very likely I know some of the hashers involved in the naming.

I blogged a while back about this black guy who hashes with us in Tucson, and how a few hashers keep telling racial jokes whenever he shows up.  We’ll run through a nice neighborhood and one of them’ll make a crack about rich folks dialing 911 to report negroes on the street, shit like that.  It’s like they can never get past the fact of their fellow hasher’s race, and no matter how many times he hashes, no matter what a regular guy and good friend he proves himself to be, he’ll always be a black guy first and a hasher second.

Oh, he’s fine with it all, and dishes out plenty of whitey jokes in return, so everything’s okay.  It’s just joking, you know? Except . . . there’s something held in check behind racial joking, something ugly.  How many times do you need to remind a black guy he’s black?  Once should be more than enough, shouldn’t it?  Why can’t we get past it?  What does a black hasher . . . or a white hasher who dates a black hasher . . . have to do to be just another hasher?

Everybody takes a certain amount of politically-incorrect guff at the hash.  There’s not a woman, a fat guy, a short person, an oldster, a Mexican, or a cross-eyed redheaded hasher who hasn’t been ribbed by other hashers.  Once . . . maybe twice.  Very few hashers get ribbed forever and ever, and I’m willing to bet that those few are mostly black, at least in the good old USA.

But wait a minute . . . I have to modify what I just said.  What about hashers who get hurtful, insulting names based on things like gender, race, religion, or physical disabilities?  There are a lot of them.  Just think, for starters, of all the harriettes you know with cunt names.  Some of these hashers are cool with their names, but a lot of them are not.  Their own hashes, in naming them, basically told them this: you’re a __________ and oh by the way also a hasher.  And those names last forever.  What a crappy thing to do to a fellow hasher.

What does this say about people who single out a black hasher for racial cracks, over and over?  What does this say about hashers who go all Ku Klux Klan because a white woman dates a black man?  What does this say about hashers who name other hashers after things they cannot help, things they have no power to change?

I sure wish I’d quit hearing stories like the one I started this entry with.  I want to think hashers are better than trailer trash.  I need to think hashers are better than trailer trash, because I have plenty of trailer trash tendencies myself and don’t wish to be reminded of them.  Help me out, friends, okay?

- Flying Booger

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