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Fourteen Questions: She Mussel Bitch

SMB

She Mussel Bitch has been hashing with the Austin Hash House Harriers for 20 years. I first met her in Honolulu in 1992 when she dropped in for a hash on her way home from crashing men-only hash events in Thailand. Since then she’s gone on to considerable fame, hashing around the world, founding hashes, and organizing the 2001 InterAmericas Hash in Austin, Texas. SMB is married to the former Brussels hasher Try-A-Fuck, who is now a transplanted Texan.

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She Mussel Bitch, how did you find the hash . . . or should I ask how did the hash find you?

One of my co-workers, Sperm Bank, had been on me for about a year to come along. Dick the Boy Wonder (Danny Taylor back then) was my next door neighbor and he went the weekend before me (I was iced in at work at the Hyatt, so I didn’t get to go). I went the next weekend and I was hooked!

How did you get your hash name?

We went camping and we weren’t quite ourselves – hey, it was the 80s! I built a jail of mussel clams in the lake . . . even named them. I set them free at the end of the weekend!

Who are the hashers that taught you the most about hashing?

Zippy, Hash Potato, Drummer Bill. But Slumbag taught me the most important lesson: “Two tits, TWO beers.”

When & where was your first away hash?

Outside of Texas, my first away hash was, if memory serves me, Mardi Gras in New Orleans – that was a great time! Got picked up by a fire truck (non-hash) and threw beads on Bourbon Street! My first real away hash was in 1992 for Interhash in Phuket. I took a month off from work and traveled around with Slumbag and Finger F*ck and was adopted by a small gang of Kiwis known as the Marlborough Hash. The prelewd in KL was the best ever . . . I came back to Austin a changed woman!

Where are some of the places you’ve hashed?

US, Canada, Mexico, all over Europe (Brussels being near and dear), Thailand, Malaysia, Cairo, Turkey, India (Goa was the best!), Australia, New Zealand.

What do you most love about hashing?

The great friends that I’ve made all over the world.

What don’t you love about hashing?

Annoying drunks . . . bad luck, huh? ;-)

What’s the best thing that ever happened to you at a hash?

Duh – I met my husband!

What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you at a hash?

It rained for a month in Austin before InterAmericas 2001.

Where are some places you haven’t hashed, but would like to?

Africa, South America.

Where are some places you wouldn’t like to hash?

Hmmm . . . maybe someplace in the middle of a war, but I want to visit as many places as I can.

Have you founded any hashes? Where? Which ones?

Just a local spin off hash (On the Rag HHH in Austin) and The WARRIER HHH, now defunct.

Are there any core fundamentals you believe all hashes and hashers should embrace?

Have a sense of humor, please.

What’s in your hashing future?

I’m counting the days until Interhash in Perth, Australia . . . hopefully Texas Interhash, and who knows what after that!

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