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Hashing Straight

Actually, I’ve always hashed straight.  Never could stand the feeling of beer sloshing around in my gut on trail.  Never could understand hashers who like to drink beer before trail, let alone the few who think it’s fun to run drunk.

On-afters, now, that was a different story!  I loved beer, couldn’t get enough of it.  And then I decided to quit drinking.  Lots of reasons, mostly health-related, but now that I’ve been straight for awhile, my real motivation has revealed itself to me.

My conscious mind finally said enough to waking up thick-tongued and groggy, being fat, wasting money on beer & booze.  I feel great, I’m losing weight, there’s cash in my wallet.  All that is wonderful.

But here’s what it really is, and how it came to me: driving home from a hash a few nights ago, I didn’t see the cop car hidden behind a bush until the last second.  You know that cold, plunging-off-a-cliff feeling you get in your stomach?  Oh my God, he’s gonna pull me over and smell the beer.  Then I remembered I hadn’t had any beer . . . I was sober.  Okay, speeding maybe, but sober!  Christ, what a sense of relief!  If up to that point I wasn’t entirely sure I’d stay on the wagon, now I was.

We all know most hashers drive themselves home after the circle.  Here’s a rant I wrote on the very same subject, and would you believe that at the same time I wrote it I was routinely driving home half-sloshed from hashes every week, a road beer in my hand and a spare tucked behind the seat?  I figure my debt to society amounts to around two years in prison, plus another ten years of community service.  But enough preaching already.

So far, so good.  I haven’t been tempted.  I don’t dream about drinking, like I dreamed about cigarettes after I quit smoking.  I thought hashing would be hard for me, being around so many people drinking, but it hasn’t been.  I love trails as much as ever.  The circle isn’t quite as much fun as before, but that’s okay.  A Coke deals with the thirst, and I still lead a down-down song or two, just to stay in practice.  Not drinking hasn’t been a problem, I’m happy to say.

Will it last?  Lots of folks quit drinking, only to start again.  The way I feel now, though, I’m done with it forever.  Blogging about it, as boring as it may be for you, might help me keep my resolve if I ever am tempted – my own little AA substitute!

Let’s see, to date I’ve started a traditional men-only hash and a family hash.  Is it time to start a non-drinking hash?  Shit no, no one would come . . . not even me!

- Flying Booger

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