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Ask Doctor Down-Down: October 2005

Dear Doctor Down-Down,

I was co-hare for our hash yesterday and we had stashed some beer in the bushes about halfway through the trail and we used the mark “BC” for “beer check” and we also had another check at a bar about three quarters of the way through the run and used the mark “BN” for “beer near.” During circle, I had to do a down-down because I was told that the beer in the bushes should have been marked “BN” rather than “BC.” Is this right?

On On!
Puppy Love

Dear Puppy Love,

Sounds to me like you had two beer checks on trail. While some hashes use different marks for a six-pack-in-the-bushes beer check and a bar-stop-on-trail beer check, in my hash a beer check is a beer check, whether it’s in the shiggy or in a saloon. But when in Rome, you know . . . my best advice to you is to learn and use the trail marks your hash considers standard. Even though I think their standards are fucked up. Like BN for a beer check. How do you get a beer check out of BN?

Personally, I wouldn’t use B to stand for beer. Might get confused with BT for bad trail, or BC for back check (or boob check). When it comes to beer marks, it’s best to spell it out. B may not stand for beer to hashers in your group, but BEER, thank G, can mean only one thing.

There are two kinds of beer marks on trail: marks for beer checks and marks for beer at the end. It’s important to differentiate between the two. Nothing’s more discouraging than thinking you’ve reached the end of the trail when you’ve merely come to a beer check, with miles still to go. For beer checks, my mark is BEER CHECK, with a check symbol for check.  I only use BEER NEAR at the end of the trail.  There’s another way to mark the end, of course: instead of BEER NEAR, use ON IN or ON HOME. The beer part is understood.

Really, when you think about it, the only critical trail marks are those having to do with beer. If you wanted to take hashing down to its most basic level, you’d have just two marks: BEER SOMEWHERE ELSE at the start, and BEER HERE at the end. The pack would take off in all directions, and eventually someone would find the beer. You know, that sounds like a lot of fun . . . maybe I’ll try it next time I hare.

On On,
Doctor Down-Down

dear doctor down-down,

they are torturing me.. on indy media. under mind control.. article hr2977 .. there is more info there.. they rape my children.. and me.. we need your help .. before something drastic happens and people die

On On,
Troubled Soul

Dear Troubled,

Something – some intuition, perhaps? – led you to Doctor Down-Down. That tells me you sense the potential healing power of hashing, and you know what? You’re on the right track. Obviously, you have half a mind, and that’s all it takes to hash - so go hashing already! Enjoy the trail, make some friends, drink a few beers, forget your troubles. Sorry to hear about your kids getting raped, but as additional encouragement to try hashing, I can assure you that we don’t rape children at the hash. Hardly ever. Okay, that once.

On On,
Doctor Down-Down

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