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Namings & Renamings

dirty words

From an email sent to the hash list today:

We had a newly named hasher who sent an e-mail to the hash list in Charlotte today, demanding a renaming as she felt her current name was “offensive and degrading.” I’m not saying it isn’t, but her name, “Don’t C#m On My Face, Thank You”, was suggested by her fiance as he thought that our names that actually involved information about her weren’t offensive enough. . . .

What are some good stories about renamings/names to go to when someone’s complaining too much? I know this list has some. I’ve always been partial to one that involves taking it for a pack of smokes. Discuss

So far there have been eight responses. All but one were posted by male hashers, and were about what one would expect: the Charlotte hash should rename her, so long as the new name incorporates the word “cunt.” Here’s a typical response:

The hash isn’t for everybody.
How’s about…
Don’t Cum in my Cunt
Three Mile Cunt
Open Festering Cunt

BTW How’s her tit?

The hash isn’t for everybody? Actually, I agree: the hash isn’t for everybody. Some people don’t like running. Some don’t like to be outdoors. Some would rather go to the mall. But whether or not you’re willing to accept a name that embarrasses or humiliates you is not the criterion.

This shit has nothing to do with hashing, and I’ve had enough. Anger and late-night posting rarely mix well, but for what it’s worth, here’s the response I posted tonight:

Er . . . I beg to differ.

When someone objects to a filthy, immoral, or degrading name, that’s a valid objection.

We recently named a guy “Whatever” because that’s about the only thing he gave us during the Q&A: “whatever.” He doesn’t like his name and hasn’t been back to the hash. Fine. There’s nothing objectionable about a name like that, and we aren’t about to change it.

But if you name a harriette “Don’t Cum on My Face, Thank You” and she’s offended by it, that’s another thing altogether.

A lot of people — and that includes a lot of hashers — think names like that should never be given in the first place. How is giving someone an offensive and degrading name related to hashing? How could anyone consider that acceptable behavior? The harriette has every reason to object, and the hash should respect her wishes and rename her.

And not something worse. This business of coming up with even more offensive replacement names makes me think of nothing so much as a couple of eight-year-olds trying to out-insult each other: Oh yeah, well you’re a scumsuckerfuckwad! Oh yeah, well you’re a scumsuckerfuckwad a scizillion times! Would it kill us to grow up?

A lot of hashers hate filthy and degrading names. A lot of hashers refuse to accept filthy and degrading names. Who the fuck says they can’t be hashers if they reject filthy and degrading names? Who the fuck says meekly accepting a name you find incredibly offensive is what determines whether you’re a hasher or a non-hasher?

Who the fuck, I might ask, said hashers have to have hash names in the first place?

I might also have asked why all these “cunt” renaming suggestions come from guys who don’t themselves have degrading names?

The original hashers didn’t have hash names. The tradition of hashers bestowing hash names on one another didn’t start until the mid-1970s, and it has by no means become universal. There are plenty of hashes today where hash names are not given, and of the hash kennels that do give names, most steer well clear of anything dirty or insulting.

Sorry, but when some pipsqueak twerp tells me he’s the judge of who is or isn’t hashworthy, I tend to get a little huffy.

- Flying Booger

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