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Sex & the Single Harriette

Last week someone posted a warning on hash-l:

Subject: serious medical warning

Today I learned that a good hasher friend of mine contracted herpes from another hasher. They met at a recent hash event and, as often happens at events, they slept together. This wasn’t just a fly by night situation though, as she actually flew down to see him a few weeks afterward and they spent the weekend together. He never once told her he had this incurable disease nor did he ever offer to wear a condom. This was no accident. This is the 4th hasher he has infected! He had full knowledge of his disease before having a lot of unprotected sex with this girl. Hashers! I have always been proud of our hasher world where our connections will warn each other about people like this or people that are in our group that can harm us. The three previous girls are just as guilty keeping silent! WARN OTHERS! Why protect people like this??? You can sit there and blame her for not insisting on using protection, but I believe a 39 year old guy who has a disease should be fully responsible. He is old enough to say something and let her either use protection or opt out. She trusted him. A lot of girls do this. Please pass this to any group list you can and get this message out. We need to be reminded of how we should watch out for one another. And I surely hope this message gets all the way back to ________.

P.S. Yes this is a true story. I would not waste your time if it was not.

P.P.S. No the story is NOT about me.

The usual suspects weighed in with the usual predictable reactions:

  • It’s wrong to actually name the guy and the person who wrote the message should have sent a general warning instead
  • Harriettes are always at risk when they have sex with harriers
  • Harriers always lie about STDs
  • Harriettes shouldn’t be such cockteasers, dressing provocatively and tempting poor harriers into giving them STDs
  • Show us your tits
  • My web site gets 50,021 hits per minute and has over 28,000 subscribers and none of them have ever had herpes (you can guess who sent that one!)

My reaction: what if the story is bogus? I mean, the signs are there — lots of exclamation points, typing in ALL CAPS, multiple question marks, an appeal to forward the message to other group lists — classic hoax warning red flags.

What if the story is part of a hate-fueled vendetta rising out of some personal dispute having nothing to do with herpes? I remember when the despicable Stray Dog, a few years ago, posted a bunch of wild accusations on his web site, deliberately trying to damage individual hashers’ reputations, actually campaigning to get one poor harriette drummed out of the hash, and then the whole thing turned out to be part of some Stray Dog vendetta — there was nothing to any of his accusations. What if this is like that?

Of course the warning could be true as written, but how can we know? I’m with the hashers who said it was wrong to name the accused, and that the message should have been a general warning instead. For what a general warning would have been worth, that is . . . does anyone seriously believe hashers will change their behavior in light of warnings about STDs?

Hashers are no more likely to pass STDs around than any other group of people. Which means that they are just as likely to pass STDs around: guys resist wearing condoms; guys and girls alike lie about having herpes; we all succumb to temptation (all the quicker when alcohol is involved); having unprotected sex with strange hashers is a crap shoot; yadda yadda. Yeah, and I’ll quit smoking too, some day.

I said it before and I’ll say it again: the purpose of gossip is never to teach, but to harm. Don’t feed the dog!

- Flying Booger

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