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Hashers in the News (Not in a Good Way)

When Pick’n'Flick and I lived in Las Vegas, we organized an invitational weekend hash. Sixty or so hashers from neighboring states made the trek, including one guy who came all the way from Canada, which was a pleasant surprise … or so I thought at first. I’d been hashing less than ten years at that point and was still laboring under the illusion that hashers were better than regular people.

What happened was that on the Thursday before our weekend hash, an Edmonton hasher named Crash Test Dummy called to say he was flying into Vegas that night for COMDEX, the annual computer industry expo. His company hadn’t told him he had to go until that very day and the hotels in Vegas were booked solid. He wondered if he could beg some floor space at our house. He’d gotten my name and number off the announcement we’d posted on the Hash List, and said he wanted to hash with us whenever his convention schedule would permit. I said sure, come on down.

He showed up late that night. We put him up in our guest bedroom and gave him a key to the house. He explained he’d be tied up with COMDEX all day Friday and Saturday, but would definitely make the last trail on Sunday. True to his word, he zipped off in his rental car at oh-dark-thirty the next two days and we had no idea when he came back to the house because we were out hashing.

Sunday afternoon, as Pick and I were getting ready to leave for the hash, the phone rang. It was a woman asking for Crash Test Dummy. I explained he was at COMDEX, but that we expected to see him later in the day. She said she was stuck at the airport, where he was supposed to pick her up. This was all news to me, and I said so, at which point she told me she was a San Diego hasher and that he’d invited her to come do today’s trail with him and spend the night at our house, and could I pick her up at the airport instead?

I won’t share the woman’s name since she’s the innocent party in all this. Long story short, I went and fetched her. She broke down crying on the drive back to our house and told the rest of the story. She’d met Crash Test Dummy the year before at InterAmericas, where he’d proposed to her. Since then, though, he hadn’t returned her calls, emails, or letters. She’d somehow heard he’d be at COMDEX and our hash in Vegas that weekend and had flown in from LA to confront him. He hadn’t in fact invited her … he had no idea she was coming.

When we got to the house Crash Test Dummy was there, changing into his running clothes. He stared at his unexpected visitor and I sensed trouble. It was already past time to leave, so I said “Look, whatever you two have to work out, please don’t work it out on our house,” and Pick and I left for the hash. The two of them must have come to a temporary truce, because they showed up at the on-out a few minutes later, did trail together, and spent the night in our guest bedroom.

No surprise, that was the last night they spent together. He’d only ever proposed to her in order to get into her knickers, and he must have done some world-class fast talking at our house in Vegas because she didn’t kill him.

A couple of years later, hashers I know bumped into Crash Test Dummy at Interhash—where he bragged about the time he snagged free room & board from some hasher in Las Vegas. Two years after that he attended his last Interhash. He had cancer, well advanced, and died shortly after returning home to Canada. I shed not a single tear.

So perhaps you’ll understand why I no longer harbor illusions about hashers. We have our share of dirtbags, just like any other group.

Yesterday a friend forwarded two news items about hashers on trial for criminal acts. He says the closed Hash House Harrier groups on Facebook discourage discussion about such things, and wondered if I’d mind passing the stories on. You know what? I’ve been hashing almost thirty years now and no longer give a shit what hashers think about me, so yeah, I’ll share the news. You break it, you pay for it, am I right?

I’ve heard way too many rumors about rapes and attempted rapes at hash events. We rarely discuss stuff like this in hashing circles and then only in hushed tones with no names named. Thanks to the #MeToo movement, the rules have changed. Here’s a charming hash rape story, from London:

Screen Shot 2018-06-06 at 9.07.22 AM
Click image for story

The guy, part of a “tight clique” of London area hashers known (to themselves, apparently) as the “Sexy Crew,” claims the young lady was drunk and flirtatious, and that the sex was consensual. She says it was rape. The hash where the two met isn’t named, but the newspaper couldn’t resist throwing our unofficial motto back in our face, describing us as ”a drinking club with a running problem.” The case is on trial in a London court. The story is dated May 22 and I can’t find any news items after that date, so presumably the court has not yet handed down a ruling. I note with caution, therefore, that nothing, one way or the other, has been proven.

On a related note, I fucking hate that “drinking club with a running problem” motto and wish it had never been appropriated by the hash. All it does is bite us on the ass whenever we make the news.

The second story reminds me of the guy who, years ago, would show up at international hash events claiming to have had his wallet and credit cards stolen while he was playing polo. He was stranded, he said, appealing to his brother hashers to front him enough for a plane ticket home, which (being a wealthy jet-setting polo-playing playboy) he would gladly repay with interest. More than a few hashers fell for his story and took up collections. Remember him? Meet Son of Polo-Playing Scammer:

Screen Shot 2018-06-06 at 9.08.22 AM
Click image for story

The story, thankfully, doesn’t mention the hash connection. According to my source, one of the six people indicted is a former Cairo hasher named (appropriately) Adrian “Bankrupt” Baron, originally from Hungary, for many years now a citizen of St. Vincent and the Grenadines.

I’m sure Crash Test Dummy is up in Hash Heaven, running trail with G and ZiPpy (who was also at that Las Vegas invitational hash), and that they’ll someday be joined by the rest of us, good and bad alike, including the polo-playing scam artist and the guy from Hungary. But is it too much to hope the rapists don’t make the cut?

© 2018, Flying Booger. All rights reserved.

About Flying Booger  Hash House Harrier, man about town.


11 comments to Hashers in the News (Not in a Good Way)

  • Good story, I bet loads have a horror story, most don’t have a boatload of them.

    I trusted visiting hashers in Cairo for more than a dozen years, hosting countless ones.
    The one time I was leaving the day they arrived, it turned out they had been virgins on a trail the week before somewhere (and left that out) …
    … during my holiday trip, I got a call from a friend that because of their behavior and how they spoke to my landlord I had been kicked out of my flat.

    I managed to undo the damage on my return, and by then the “hashers” were long gone and never heard from again.

  • Crispy Bush

    There have been a few stories of con artists running their scams at a hash. The last one I heard of happened in Germany a few years back.

    As for people abusing hash hospitality, it does happen although it’s a minority of cases.I now prefer staying in a cheap dump of a hotel when visiting an area where I don’t know anyone.

    By the way,most of the Toronto hashers I met were okay. They even hosted an Inter Americas that featured ‘green’ beer that gave the entire group extreme, nauseating flatulence.

  • Within half an hour of posting this story I’ve already been asked to take it down.

  • Squeeze Me

    I think I met that guy… Sadly, it’s just like the “regular world”. There is good and bad. And sometimes people do bad things they aren’t proud of later.

    We had a hasher who allegedly stole from another hashers house. (He was into drugs and troubled). He ended up being charged with unrelated crimes and did time. Obviously, he had some bad blood in the hash from people wronged by him and hadn’t seen him. He resurfaced years later and ran into my wife while downtown. Turns out, after he was on the inside, he got cleaned up, turned himself around and ended up finding work helping people transition back to regular life from the inside.

    I know it doesn’t always help the people who were wronged, but I always like to (cautiously) give people the benefit of the doubt and believe the goodness of people.

    Maybe a footnote on this post could be, consider being receptive to people who may have been having a bad time the previous time you met them and maybe they’ve changed. (provided they’ve attempted to be actually remorseful and truely changed attitudes.)

    Anyway… my two cents.

  • Squeeze Me

    I’ll add… like life. “May your good stories you collect overshadow the bad ones!”

  • Beefeater

    Weird, my family live in St Vincent and I go every year. I have never heard of this person but I will ask. There used to be a hash on St V, but no longer. I did meet s couple of Brits who used to hash there. I only hash in Barbados now when down there. It is a shame when hashers put the group into disrepute. But it happens. We just all have to watch out for each other in these situations. But we do have to give the benefit of the doubt sometimes.

  • Balders

    Bankrupt is originally from Brighton, UK, and also hashed for a long time in Bahrain where I first met him. The bank he works for is based in SVG where he spent a good few years, and he is now managing their operations in Budapest.
    He was recently looking to be my neighbour in retirement in Penang, Malaysia. I guess, if the story is true, this was his retirement package.

  • Indeed, totally agree, as we have both written about this issue.


  • This comment, posted anonymously from a “GenericUser” address, appeared under an unrelated post. I’ve taken the liberty of copying and reposting here, under the post he or she was reacting to. — Flying Booger

    “This guy might be a dirtbag… but any chick who believes in a (probably drunk) “proposal”, from someone they just met at InterAmericas – is not the brightest bulb in the pack. In fact, she sounds like a crazy stalker. After a year, she didn’t get the message that this guy didn’t want her?? And she trolls the internet to stalk him down? Even lying to strangers to gain entry into their house?!! Wow – that is some crazy scary shit!! Who the REAL dirtbag??”

  • Captain Jerk

    Thanks for bringing up that our roving band of degenerates is known to attract an occasional real-life low-life.

    Recently we had a swindler stiff a San Diego area hasher out of over $5,000 in rent after she made the mistake of leasing her condo to him. It’s been easy for him to dodge her as she’s often deployed. At this time, several of us are working to handle her legal affairs on this while she’s gone.

    The reminder here is if you’re extending something of large value to you (rent, your life, the last beer), do a background check beforehand. A hasher who likes to present himself as a friendly neighborhood guy can actually be of an entirely different character.

  • We have a situation here where the Hasher who skipped on over $5,000 rent to a fellow Hasher who is in the Navy and deploys frequently. Not only has he had the decency to disappear, but he is a GM. And as we’ve tried to call him to task, he has ignored us and his subordinates keep asking why we think it is our business. It’s our business because you are stealing from a fellow Hasher! Deployed now, I’ll be stepping in to fix this. He has one chance to pay his back rent. After that it’s reports to credit agencies to ruin his credi and hopefully his hash life followed by an appearance in court to explain to a judge why he won’t pay his rent. I will make his life as miserable as possible. I am just now getting all the paperwork, then he’s toast.

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