What’s that saying? Oh, yeah … there are no rules! Today’s hare put that to the test, but I think everyone had a good time.
Here’s what happened. A couple of months ago we signed Loose Nut up to hare the July trail. I knew something was up when he called me to ask if anyone had ever marked trail with spray paint, but other than encouraging him to stick with traditional methods I took a wait and see approach. I mean, maybe he hasn’t hared for us before, but he’s been hashing for years, right? Then, at last month’s hash he showed me a map of the trail he had scouted. It looked solid to me and I said so. And I quit worrying about it.
Some time around 7:30 this morning Arthur Gash posted a copy of the map on Facebook. Oh well, I thought, that cat’s out of the bag, but so what? Based on the announced start location alone, anyone could have guessed we’d be riding through the neighborhoods surrounding the University of Arizona, so no harm done.
Two hours later, the Pedalfiles assembled at the Times Market on University Avenue, ready to chase Loose Nut through the streets and alleyways of metropolitan Tucson: 58 & Accounting with her friend NHN Pete, Bumper Tracks with his young sons Jason & Jake, Yoda & Appendage, Wankers Aweigh, Arthur Gash & You Gotta Fuck Me to Find Out, and us, Flying Booger & Pick’n'Flick. But instead of jumping on his bicycle and taking off in a cloud of flour, Loose Nut calmly handed out copies of the same map to every rider, explaining that he wasn’t going to mark trail, but that we’d be riding the route together instead. And then he passed out bulldog clips so we could attach our copies of the map to our handlebars!
What’s that saying again? Oh, right … there are no rules. Someone did ask Loose Nut why he chose this interesting approach to haring, and he said it was because when the pack has to solve trail it gets all spread out. To which one can only say, sure, you’re right but … so we bit our collective tongues and took off together.
For what turned out to be a very pleasant 11-mile ride on bicycle-route streets, with a beer stop at the Rincon Market, a Tucson landmark, then back along a fantastic, shaded bikeway and on-in to the A at the Times Market.
Sadly, Loose Nut took off after we got back to the A, so we didn’t get to rag him about his unconventional “haring” methods. Or thank him for the trail either. Wankers, 58 & Accounting, and NHN Pete had to leave too, and rather than hang around the Times Market the hard core bashers who remained decided to go a few blocks south to Bison Witches on 4th Avenue for on-afters. I don’t like to be critical, but Bison Witches has changed, and not for the better, and we’d have probably been better off staying at the Times Market, which had plenty of good food and beer. A lesson for future metro Tucson trails, surely.
Like I said, I sort of expected Loose Nut to surprise us, but all in all it was a pleasant surprise. Flour and a few checks would have been nice, but we had a great ride, and we did manage to stay together!
There are no rules, after all. And what’s that Mao said? Let a thousand flowers bloom? Something like that. Well played, Loose Nut. You showed us a new trick, you old dog!
© 2015, Flying Booger. All rights reserved.
About Flying Booger Hash House Harrier, man about town.