Half-Mind Weblog

Dear Hashers,

A typical day’s load of e-mail will include at least one of the following perennials: If Operating Systems Were Beer, Fifty Fun Things to Do in an Elevator, Greatest Pick-Up Lines of All Time, or the grandaddy of them all, Why Beer is Better than Women.

These senior citizens of e-humor, palsied and liver-spotted, simply refuse to stay in their nursing homes. Instead, like the legions of white-haired AARPers resolutely trooping through the nation’s malls, these old crocks get their exercise by taking daily strolls from one SMTP server to another.

They may have been worth a chuckle back in 1971, when people first began using e-mail, but by now surely every AOL customer has forwarded one or all of these geezers to their entire address lists.

What I want to know is where are the new and original humor posts? Why must we see the same stuff over and over? I mean, c’mon – how hard can it be to come up with something new?

Why, not hard at all . . . particularly if your standards of humor are as flexible as mine!

Regards,
Flying Booger

If Beer Were Steamrollers

• Blatz -When You Wanna Be Flatz!
• Schlitz – Squeezes Your Zitz!
• Rolling Rock – Rolling Right Over You, Dude!
• Milwaukee’s Best – Flattens Your Chest!
• LaBatt’s – Splatts!
• Guinness Stout – Rolls You Right Out!
• Olympia – Squeezes You Thinia!
• Busch – Squoosh!
• Killian’s Red – Flattened and Dead!
• Saint Pauli Girl – Road Kill Squirrel!
• Newcastle Brown Ale – You Flap Like a Sail!
• Heineken – Wafer Thin!
• Bohemia – Instant Bulemia!
• Grolsch – Eww, Gross!
• Strohs – (you don’t wanna hear this one)
• Bud Dry – One-Ply!
• Pabst – Splabst!
• Moosehead – Middle-Age Spread!
• Oranjeboom – You Carpet a Room!

Okay, it’s your turn!

© 2007 – 2008, Flying Booger. All rights reserved.

About Flying Booger  Hash House Harrier, man about town.