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Hazards of Pre-Laying

You’d of asked me yesterday afternoon, I’d have said “what hazards?” What could possibly go wrong with a pre-laid trail?

Repossess Me and Leave It to Beaver and I laid two trails yesterday, Repo & Beaver for the harriettes of Desert Divas H3, me for the harriers of Pima County Traditional H3. Our idea was to have the girls and guys start and end together but hash different A-to-A trails in opposite directions (picture a sideways figure eight). My trail was about four miles long; the girls’ closer to three.

I mentioned earlier I’d been worried all week about being up to haring on Sunday . . . I’ve always hated hares who bail at the last minute, and here I was in danger of doing just that. But Sunday broke brilliant: I felt great, the sky was blue, birds were chirping . . . it was even warm enough to think about hashing in shorts and a T-shirt.

By the time I showed up at the park to mark my trail, blue had turned to solid gray, the wind was blowing, temps had dropped to the mid-40s, and it was spitting rain. Oh, well, at least I was up to snuff. The wind and rain steadily worsened; as I reached the halfway point of my trail Repo called to say they were changing theirs to end at Leave It to Beaver’s house, only a mile from the start. Not an option for me: with a fenced-off eighteen-hole golf course in the middle of my trail, I was committed to the full four miles.

By the time Repo, Beaver, and I got together again at the park and hashers began arriving, it was raining sideways and even colder. We — three hares, eight harriettes, six harriers, three dogs — huddled under a park ramada and voted to minimize our misery. Fuck my trail; everyone — guys, girls, and dogs — would run the harriettes’ one-miler and end up at Leave it to Beaver’s.

Our two trails started together and overlapped for the first 200 yards, then split, with the harriettes’ trail going right and the harriers’ trail going left. We explained about the split, pointed the pack toward the start, and yelled “On On.” The pack took off and we hares hopped in our cars and drove to Leave It to Beaver’s.

An hour later: “Shouldn’t they be here by now?”

Let’s go back to my pre-laid trail . . . my trail started by the edge of a soccer field, went south, then east, then north, then west back toward the start, ending at a public restroom a few hundred yards north of first flour. Both points were visible from where the pack huddled under the ramada. You know what’s coming, don’t you?

Right. When we pointed the pack at the start, we didn’t stay around long enough to see where they actually went. They zenned straight to my last flour, not my first flour, and wound up doing the four-mile mens’ trail backward. They then all went over to Didya Bite My Penis & S&M&M&M’s house, our original on-after location. We eventually figured out what had happened and joined the pack for on-afters, where I was thoroughly castigated.  As well I should have been!

Note to self: when pre-laying, quit marking at least a quarter-mile before the end. Once the pack leaves, then finish marking the on-in.

In spite of bad weather and me screwing up the trail, we somehow managed to have a pretty good time, and even though no one had planned to run my trail, it was at least a good trail with decent shiggy.

You know, hashing is a lot like sex . . . even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.

And here we are.  From left to right: huddled under the ramada in the rain, at DYBMP’s (where Pickle Packer shows us how to pack a pickle), our cooks (Stick Me Anywhere, S&M&M&M, Gummee).  Click any photo to enlarge.

- Flying Booger is master of some things he surveys!

© 2010, Flying Booger. All rights reserved.

About Flying Booger  Hash House Harrier, man about town.


1 comment to Hazards of Pre-Laying

  • AnnB99

    We always pre-lay, so have learnt these things! Another hint is to watch the pack as they take off – in case they do somehow get lost or turned around too soon. Also, never set a first check too close to where they could find the on-home trail. Over here, hares often don’t mark the last bit of trail (your 1/4 mile, or, several blocks) at all, but rather just write “ON HOME” with an arrow pointing home (as long as it’s straight enough back home from where this is done, of course!)
    PS – so many other things can and do go wrong with pre-laid trails… non-hash people erase or wash away trail (especially in cities), it gets rained on or covered up with leaves, cars, etc, it gets blown away, it gets eaten by kangaroos…..

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