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Point/Counterpoint

An announcement I posted to our local hash message board last night:

Virgin Motorcycle Hash, Saturday, Sep 13

Announcing the virgin hash of the Harriers MC, inviting hashing motorcyclists in Tucson & Sierra Vista:

Date/time: Saturday, Sep 13, 9:00am.

Location: Hy Corbett Field parking lot, Tucson, AZ.

Hares: Flying Booger & Red-Headed Woodpecker.

Trail: expect around 75 miles/three checks.

Notes: BYO $$$ for checks & on-afters, find a friend (preferably a hasher) to ride bitch, show up with a full tank.

See the Harriers MC message board for further details.

And the response, posted almost immediately after:

New Wheelchair Hash

Since ANY lame-o WITH an internet connecton can START a hash THESE days, I am STARTING MY own Wheelchair Hash.

It WILL be perfect! OFFERING UP what ALL other new HASHES already HAVE in ONE tidy package. I AM a twat already and I will be in a MOTORIZED wheelchair. Even BETTER than a motorcycle. MORE wheels!

Do NOT worry about scheduling. I am CONFIDENT that there is still ROOM for yet ANOTHER hash on the weekend!

I THINK 1145am or 115pm start times are still available. Heck people SAY they cannot SEEM to get enough hashing OPPORTUNITIES I guess I will take BOTH slots and Wheelchair Hash TWICE a WEEKEND!

HOORAY for MORE hashing opportunites!

Stay Tuned. NEXT month I hear SOMEONE is startng a NEW golf cart HASH and it is GOING to start AT 942am on Sundays (EXCEPT WHEN THERE IS A PISS HASH or A PEDDLEFILES HASH or A ROLLERBLADE HASH or A RED RADIO FLYER AND TRICYCLE HASH or A SPECIAL EARLY STARTING TWAT HASH or A TWI-A-THON or TWAT FOR A CURE or TWAT ME AT MAYNARDS or A MISMANAGEMENT THAT FALLS ON AN ODD NUMBER DAY OF THE WEEK or IF MERCURY IS IN RETROGRADE………. OTHERWISE THE GOLF CART HASH WILL BE ON)

ON-THE LAME-O IN THE CHAIR-ON

The Knuckle

It is true . . . any lame-o with an internet connection can start a new hash (actually, I think starting new hashes was possible in the pre-internet days, too).  And it is also true that there are several hashes in the Tucson area.  In addition to the main hash, the jHavelinas, there are the Mr. Happy’s, the TWAT, the PISS, the Pedalfiles, and the Divas.  There have been others, but those are now defunct.

The jHavelina HHH meets every Saturday afternoon.  Mr. Happy’s HHH meets every Wednesday evening.  The TWAT HHH meets every Sunday afternoon.  The PISS and the Pedalfiles meet monthly on separate Sunday mornings.  The Divas are an occasional thing . . . harriettes only . . . normally on a weeknight but lately, hardly ever.

So if you’re not from Tucson and you look at that, you might think “What’s the problem?”  The hashes don’t overlap.  Some hashers attend all three weekly events, and a few attend the monthly events as well.

But the devil’s in the details, eh?  While the jHavelinas and Mr. Happy’s have always gotten along, the TWAT is a breakaway hash, and runs opposite a recent jHavelina tradition of Sunday afternoon barbecues.  The PISS HHH used to have an understanding with jHavelina mismanagement that the jHavelinas wouldn’t schedule competing events on the afternoon of the second Sunday of each month, but that went by the wayside when the barbecues started, and in fact the PISS has moved to a morning schedule now that the TWAT has moved into Sunday afternoons as well.

Minor problems, but apparently enough to generate rancor.  There are a few jHavelina hashers who act as if they believe hashing was invented in Tucson, and that hashing jHavelina-style is the only legitimate form of hashing.  New ideas?  Heresy.  We don’t care how they do it in San Diego/Kuala Lumpur/New York City!  But there are hashers like that everywhere, and as long as they’re happy with their mother hashes, who cares?  More power to ‘em, I say.

I have a harder time understanding the resentment these folks harbor over the existence of other hashes.  Mr. Happy’s is there for hashers who like pickup hashes.  The TWATs are mostly traveling hashers who liked the traditions they encountered at different Southern California hashes and wanted to try them out in Tucson.  PISS HHH is a family hash.  Pedalfiles HHH is a bicycle hash.  Harriers MC is a motorcycle hash.  How do any of these compete with or threaten the jHavelinas?  But it seems they do, and I’ll have to chalk that up to plain old human spite.

Because when you get right down to it, hashers are human.  And humans, by and large, suck.

© 2009, Flying Booger. All rights reserved.


About Flying Booger  Hash House Harrier, man about town.


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3 comments to Point/Counterpoint

  • sideshowjesus

    Apparently something similar to that happened in Tampa a few weeks ago, although not as subtly as this one. They just flat out said “don’t post other hash information on our board” despite the fact that they alternate Saturdays.

    I guess you should just have multiple message boards, and then yell at visitors when they ask for information on the wrong board?

    Also, are we allowed to make fun of a local running group that had a newspaper article written about them with the tag line “a drinking club with a running problem”?

  • Pampers

    You think that’s bad – we had a small group start their own hash that set off half an hour before ours on a Sunday. Three of them still come to our Monday hash and try to poach our vigrins.

  • Pampers, one of our earlier breakaway groups (now defunct) seriously debated hashing on the same day & time as the mother hash, but wiser heads prevailed. Pettiness knows no bounds!

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