One could argue I shouldn’t write this up as a Harriers MCH3 event, but hey, I was there–the founder and GM of Harriers MCH3–and I did send invitations to all the local members beforehand, so the hell with it, I’m counting it as a Harriers MCH3 event!
What “it” is is The Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride, an annual motorcycle event. This year there were Distinguished Gentleman’s Rides in 401 cities and towns in 79 countries. As with our own Hash House Harrier Red Dress Runs, Distinguished Gentleman’s Rides also support a charity, in this case by helping to raise awareness of and fund research on prostate cancer. Riders sign up to raise funds or donate directly, and on the day of the ride everyone wheels their classic rides to designated locations, dressed as gentlemen.
I signed up to raise funds, and donated some of my own as well. I also took a stab at dappertude, as you can see here (by the way, you can click on any of the photos to see the full sized originals on Flickr):
Other riders got into the spirit of the thing as well, especially the guy with the Groucho Marx tux! I’ll try to do better than just putting on a tie next year.
Some of the rides were pretty sweet. That BMW K100, by the way, is a first year bike from 1982, the first motorcycle to have anti-lock brakes. We started the ride with 20 motorcycles and riders, a respectable group.
There were two pit/bar/regroup stops along the 70-mile route. The first was at Hot Rods in Vail, and since we got there ten minutes before opening, everyone occupied themselves in the parking lot by checking in on social media (I was no exception). The second stop was a taco bar at La Encantada, the upscale mall at Sunrise & Campbell, where we took over the designated motorcycle parking area.
I split off after the second regroup. The final destination was a bar on South 4th Avenue, and we had already made two bar stops. Since I quit drinking, bar stops have lost their appeal, and in fact I don’t go on poker runs or toy runs any more because all anyone wants to do at those events is drink. This event, however, was different: although a few riders ordered beers at Hot Rods and the taco bar at La Encantada, most just asked for water. It was a riding group, not a drinking group, and I’ll definitely be back for next year’s ride. I hope next time some other Harriers MCH3ers turn out with me!
And the hares …
My Clit Talks and Cap’n Crotch told us to show up at Schrier’s on 6th St at 10 AM, and we saluted: Arthur Gash & You Gotta Fuck Me, Deep Dish, Loose Nut, Wankers Aweigh, Sub-Atomic Equipment, Hash Jive & Pearl of the Andes, and yours truly, Flying Booger. The jHavelinas laid trail in the same neighborhood the night before, but the hares assured us we were taking a different route, and for a change they made their trail marks loud & clear, including an innovation I haven’t seen before in Tucson — instead of turning onto another street or path with no indication beforehand, they marked their turns thusly (when’s the last time you saw the word “thusly” in a hash trash?):
So trail was easy to follow and impossible to fuck up, except I did. Just me — everyone else found the beer check, but I got lost after 12 miles and wound up back at the start, apparently lured back that way by some jHavelina marks from the night before. I still had fun, especially when I came across an antique car show at the main fire station downtown:
According to Deep Dish, who forwarded me some on-trail photos afterward, at least one basher took the eagle trail to the top of A Mountain, and the beer check was at Pueblo Vida. Those are the three miles of trail I missed. Everyone eventually made it back to Schrier’s, and the bash went in peace.
Here are a few of Deep Dish’s photos. Click on them to see the full sized originals on Flickr:
Next month’s Pedalfiles bash will be hared by moi, Flying Booger. I can’t lose trail if I’m the one setting it, right? Start location and time to be announced soon, so keep an eye on our Facebook page. Master Meat Finder & Cockstalker will hare in November, Wankers Aweigh in December, and Deep Dish & 3IY in January.
We are back from a two-week road trip, the highlight of which was three days in Portland, Oregon, where we attended InterAm 2015.
FB & PnF with Jiggy Jiggy & Occupied
Sadly, we missed the Okinawa welcome hash Thursday night. By the time we walked to the hash hotel from our hotel three blocks away, the pack had long departed. On Friday I drove south to McMinnville to visit an air museum, and by the time I got back and rounded up Pick’n'Flick, we’d missed the Hash Founders trail as well. Then we got distracted meeting old and new friends and wound up missing the Friday night kickoff hash.
Saturday we learned our dog had been injured by a cat our daughter Green Flagger snuck into our house after we left. We spent the morning and afternoon on the phone arranging for doggy surgery, and missed the Saturday trails as well! But we did make it to the hash hotel for dinner in the park, and we saw most of the skits while catching up with other old friends we hadn’t seen in years.
Did we miss the Sunday hashes too? Yes, we did … we had to be in Seattle that afternoon, so we left Portland Sunday morning. I think we finally outdid Zippy in never leaving camp … but I wouldn’t bet on that!
Here are a few thumbnail photos. Click on them to see the full sized versions on Flickr.
Finally, even though we didn’t get around to any actual hashing, we saw enough and heard enough to be totally impressed with the job the Portland organizers and all the hares did. It was an outstanding event, beautifully organized. Phoenix is going to have to work hard to stay even with Portland.
And to all our old and new friends, it was wonderful seeing you!
Ian Comyn, better known to us as Ian Cumming, has gone to hash with G. I met Ian in Rotorua at InterHash 1994 and learned a song or two at his feet. He was a hash mentor to many. He will be sorely missed and always well remembered.
Click to read the 2008 Half-Mind Weblog interview of Ian Cumming
Where does “On On” come from? Who knows? The only thing I’m fairly certain of is that it didn’t come from hashing.
A few years ago I got into an argument with another hasher. He insisted it was a hasher who first came up with the “Drinking Club with a Running Problem” motto, sometime in the 1970s. I said I didn’t think so, because if you Google “drinking club with a ______ problem” you’ll find drinking clubs with mountain climbing problems, drinking clubs with bicycling problems, drinking clubs with yachting problems, and so on.
The earliest documented use I’ve found dates back to 1946. “A Drinking Club with a Motorcycle Problem” appears on the patch of an early outlaw motorcycle club, the Boozefighters MC (the bikers who raised hell in Hollister, California in 1947, inspiring the 1953 Marlon Brando movie The Wild One). If you can find a quote from G or Torch Bennett or Horse Thomson where they used the motto in the late 1930s or early 1940s, I’ll reconsider. But as far as I know we never called ourselves a drinking club with a running problem before the 1970s.
The other day, after I wrote about Hash Haven, the online support group for hashers dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, members there had a long debate about what many of them see as a hurtful, politically incorrect, and exclusionary motto used by some hash kennels: “No Poofters.” That never originated in the hash; it came from the 1970 Monty Python Bruces sketch. In the heyday of Monty Python, a lot of hashers thought the no poofters refrain was funny, and somehow it morphed into an unofficial motto.
How about “Rule Number One Is There Are No Rules”? It’s possible a hasher first said it, but if you Google it you’ll find it’s a widely used phrase. Thomas Edison allegedly said something similar in 1903: “Hell, there are no rules here. We’re trying to accomplish something.”
Okay, back to “On On.” This morning Chippendale sent me some information on the Royal Air Force’s 272 Squadron, which flew anti-submarine patrols from Scotland in WWI and long range shipping escort missions in the Mediterranean during WWII, and whose motto was … well, you’ll never guess:
The plaques and patches I looked up all say On On, but the linked history of the squadron says it was actually On, On! (with an exclamation point, which is how many hashers say it as well). Looking at the symbol of the armored knight, I can’t help wondering if the phrase dates back even farther … possibly even to the Crusades?
There’s no point to any of this, other than to say that the hash knows a good thing when it sees it and isn’t ashamed to borrow when necessary. On, On!
When I became a mail-order minister several years ago and started officiating hash weddings, I knew the day would come I’d be asked to do a funeral. That day is here. A friend is setting up a memorial for C____, a local hasher who recently took her life, and she’s asked me to officiate.
Suicide may or may not be a taboo subject at the memorial. C____’s hash mates still aren’t openly talking about it, and no one yet knows if C____’s family, who will be here for the memorial, will want it mentioned.
I told my friend I’d do it. Now it’s up to the family. If they want me to officiate at their daughter’s memorial, I’ll have to broach the subject with them. I’ll comply with their wishes, of course.
At first I considered saying no. Sure, we belonged to the same hash, but I didn’t know C____ all that well, and my last time out with that kennel was over two years ago. Also, I’m not a believer. When hashers ask me to perform weddings I’m always up front about that: I tell them if they’re looking for religious sanction I’m not the guy they want.
No problem, my friend explained, C____ wasn’t religious. Okay, then. That, plus the fact I’m not one of her close friends and am a little distant from the hash through which we knew each other, might make me the right guy, in some hard-to-explain way, to say the formal words at her memorial service. I think C____ would be cool with it … I couldn’t do it otherwise.
Suicide? It’s a profound shock when someone you know chooses that option. I’m deeply sorry C____ chose that way out of her troubles, but it was her decision and I have to respect and accept it.
Don’t any of you do it, though. Please?
What’s that saying? Oh, yeah … there are no rules! Today’s hare put that to the test, but I think everyone had a good time.
Here’s what happened. A couple of months ago we signed Loose Nut up to hare the July trail. I knew something was up when he called me to ask if anyone had ever marked trail with spray paint, but other than encouraging him to stick with traditional methods I took a wait and see approach. I mean, maybe he hasn’t hared for us before, but he’s been hashing for years, right? Then, at last month’s hash he showed me a map of the trail he had scouted. It looked solid to me and I said so. And I quit worrying about it.
Loose Nut’s map
Some time around 7:30 this morning Arthur Gash posted a copy of the map on Facebook. Oh well, I thought, that cat’s out of the bag, but so what? Based on the announced start location alone, anyone could have guessed we’d be riding through the neighborhoods surrounding the University of Arizona, so no harm done.
Two hours later, the Pedalfiles assembled at the Times Market on University Avenue, ready to chase Loose Nut through the streets and alleyways of metropolitan Tucson: 58 & Accounting with her friend NHN Pete, Bumper Tracks with his young sons Jason & Jake, Yoda & Appendage, Wankers Aweigh, Arthur Gash & You Gotta Fuck Me to Find Out, and us, Flying Booger & Pick’n'Flick. But instead of jumping on his bicycle and taking off in a cloud of flour, Loose Nut calmly handed out copies of the same map to every rider, explaining that he wasn’t going to mark trail, but that we’d be riding the route together instead. And then he passed out bulldog clips so we could attach our copies of the map to our handlebars!
What’s that saying again? Oh, right … there are no rules. Someone did ask Loose Nut why he chose this interesting approach to haring, and he said it was because when the pack has to solve trail it gets all spread out. To which one can only say, sure, you’re right but … so we bit our collective tongues and took off together.
For what turned out to be a very pleasant 11-mile ride on bicycle-route streets, with a beer stop at the Rincon Market, a Tucson landmark, then back along a fantastic, shaded bikeway and on-in to the A at the Times Market.
Sadly, Loose Nut took off after we got back to the A, so we didn’t get to rag him about his unconventional “haring” methods. Or thank him for the trail either. Wankers, 58 & Accounting, and NHN Pete had to leave too, and rather than hang around the Times Market the hard core bashers who remained decided to go a few blocks south to Bison Witches on 4th Avenue for on-afters. I don’t like to be critical, but Bison Witches has changed, and not for the better, and we’d have probably been better off staying at the Times Market, which had plenty of good food and beer. A lesson for future metro Tucson trails, surely.
Hard core bashers at on-afters
Like I said, I sort of expected Loose Nut to surprise us, but all in all it was a pleasant surprise. Flour and a few checks would have been nice, but we had a great ride, and we did manage to stay together!
There are no rules, after all. And what’s that Mao said? Let a thousand flowers bloom? Something like that. Well played, Loose Nut. You showed us a new trick, you old dog!
Two days ago I wrote about the death of a Tucson hasher. The local hashing community is reluctant to talk about the fact that she killed herself, but a few of her closer friends have said they knew she was wrestling with serious problems. In my previous post, I expressed the wish she’d reached out to her fellow hashers when things got bad. Maybe she did, and it wasn’t enough. What do I know? Nothing, Jon Snow.
Still, I’ve been thinking about her. A lot. Could we have seen this coming? Was there anything we could have done to help our friend? Then, yesterday, I saw this post on Facebook:
This wasn’t from a local hasher. It was from someone in Philadelphia. I messaged the poster and she messaged me back. She knew about the Tucson hasher’s suicide, but she knew of several more: according to her at least a dozen hashers took their own lives over the past year. She and other hashers started a closed Facebook group called Hash Haven as a place where troubled hashers can reach out for help.
Here is Hash Haven’s organizing statement:
Welcome to Hash Haven. We are Hashers helping Hashers. Hash Haven is a support network designed to reach out to hashers living and suffering with depression and mental illness. We do not know what the fuck we are doing and we are here to help.
I don’t know if people who commit suicide are necessarily mentally ill, but surely most of them suffer from depression, so maybe Hash Haven is on the right track. Judging from the numbers of hashers who have joined the the group and posted messages about themselves, a lot of us deal with depression and sometimes need help.
Call me naive, but I’ve always believed we hashers have closer bonds with our hashing friends than we do with friends in other social or professional groups. Some of us share more with our hashing friends than we do with our own families. Hashing has always been special that way, so a support group for hashers struggling with depression seems a good idea to me.
Part of me wants to make light of this by comparing the hash to another well-known support group, Alcoholics Anonymous … the one obvious difference notwithstanding, we’re there for one another, am I right? Part of me, at the same time, knows the subject is deadly serious … a dozen hash suicides a year? Holy shit.
Need help with demons? Here are the details: Hash Haven H3 is a closed group on Facebook. “Closed” means outsiders can visit the page and see general information about the group, but member posts are visible only to other members. Interested hashers can ask to join (probably best to message the organizers first to introduce yourself). Once your membership is approved you can post to the page and read messages from other members.
Sorry for the real world intrusion. The Half-Mind Weblog now returns to its normal light programming.