Half-Mind Weblog

Flying Booger's repository of dubious Hash House Harrier wisdom




© 2004-2018 Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.

The Half-Mind Weblog is a Gang of Six™ Production

White Powdery Substance in Ohio

Trouble in the Midwest. From the Hamilton Ohio Police Department Facebook page, posted on 28 Feb 2018:

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We are aware of reports of a white powdery substance being found spread around various ares of the west side of Hamilton. Witnesses have seen at least one male involved in the actual “spreading” of the substance. There are also reports circulating that HFD has analyzed the substance and it is rat poison. That is NOT true!

The Hamilton Police Department, Hamilton Fire Department and the Health Department are working on obtaining an analysis of collected samples. HPD and HFD would like to stress there are no indications at this time the substance poses any immediate danger. There have been no reports of illnesses after contact with general citizens or from first responders. Pictured below are examples of the powdery substance encountered. Also pictured is a photo of a male that may be able to provide more information to police about this substance. If anyone recognizes this male or knows his whereabouts, please contact Detective Henson at 513-868-5811 x1237, or contact the dispatch center at 513-785-1300.

Also, if you find any of this substance please call the dispatch center to report it immediately and public safety personnel will respond. Thank you for your assistance!

Well, yeah, just look at that Super Mario lookin’ ass guy. If he ain’t poisoning rats, you know he’s thinking about it, unless it’s anthrax in that bag, in which case he’s going to kill us all!

As always in stories of these kind, the reader comments are where the action is. My favorite comment comes from a man identifying himself as Timothy Teague Sr., who has this to say: “So why not leave sawdust or something of that nature instead of worrying people. Oh these are crazy liberals who want attention.”

Crazy liberals!

Here we go, politicizing the hash, and the trail isn’t even cold yet!

I hope we haven’t come to the point where we need to start a Hasher Lives Matter movement in this country!


Free the Petersfield Dozen!

Hashing in Jolly Olde gets more like hashing in USA! USA! every day, it seems:

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Click image to link to article

The reason I say that is buried in the last paragraphs of the Petersfield Post article:

Firefighters from Horndean, Waterlooville and Cosham were called at 5.44pm and although the incident turned out to be a false alarm, the authority insists the call couldn’t be taken lightly.

“We have fairly robust predetermined procedures to follow and this was no different,” confirmed a spokesman for Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service.

Sadly, there are no reader comments, which often contain details not covered by the newspaper, nor is there any additional information on exactly how “the authority” plans not to take the false alarm lightly. Let us hope our more civilized brethren don’t go all New Haven on members of PDHHH!


Bashing Again, at Long Last

Since our friend Arthur Gash died last October, we haven’t been to a hash or bash (if you don’t count Gash’s memorial, that is). But we were back out today on a trail. Not just any trail but a trail with its own name: “Can You Ride the Waves?”

We could, and did, but Pick and I turned back early when we realized trail was going to be a hilly ballbuster, and us too out of shape to finish it without hurting ourselves. Yeah, I know, pretty lame. But we’ll work our way back into it.

Anyway, we saw about half the trail, including the waves, and it was a good one. Here are some photos:






Gone(?) but Not Forgotten

Stray Dog resurfaces! I thought he was gone, or at least that the unpleasantness between the two of us was. Wrong on both counts, it seems.

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Well, if you want a copy of the pdf he writes about, just click on the image to link to it.


Been a While, Crocodile

UntitledYes, indeed … I haven’t posted here since Arthur Gash died in early November. I wrote and delivered a eulogy at Gash’s hash memorial and send-off, and one of the hashers there kindly took the photo on the left, mid-way though a proper roasting of our departed friend and hasher.

Since then I haven’t had much involvement with the hash, either the jHavelinas or the Pedalfiles, other than to raise bike hash hares for December and January.

December was fucked up … there were two sets of hares for separate mountain bike and road bike trails, and the night before it started to look like it’d be raining the next morning. The road bike hares texted me about canceling. I texted back, asking them to at least be at the start to tell anyone who showed up the bash was canceled. No acknowledgement, and on the morning of the bash–yes, it did rain–they unilaterally bailed. By text. And no, they didn’t bother to show up at the start. Fortunately, the mountain bike hare was there, eight or so intrepid bashers showed up, and they went ahead and had a muddy bash anyway.

Next was January. I asked the hares who bailed in December if they’d take it–once again, no reply. But then a hash miracle happened and another hare stepped up, and also offered to take on some mismanagement duties! Which is fantastic, because I’m fucking DONE with hare-raising. I’ve been at this for decades now, and it never changes: everybody wants a trail; finding someone to lay it is like pulling teeth.

And there’s this: Pick’n'Flick and I are so much older than everyone in the local bash and hash, and I don’t know about her but I’m beginning to feel superfluous, not so much as a hasher–there are plenty of people in their 70s who still hash–but as a member of mismanagement. Before Arthur Gash took over, I’d been the de facto GM of the bike hash, and now, with his passing, I am again. I sense a desire on the part of younger bashers to see less of me and more of someone their own age. I don’t take that personally. Gash was a fantastic GM, and I feel the same way. So maybe this new guy is the answer!

When I did the Half-Mind Upcoming Hash Events Calendar, I’d include a good hash photo with every monthly update. By good I mean a photo of hashers on trail somewhere in the world, not just pounding brewskis. I loved those photos, and I guess I wasn’t the only one. Oral Sex, founder and GM of the B.R.A.S. & Pants H3 in Edinburgh, has started a Hash House Harriers Gallery on Facebook, and hashers are beginning to post some great photos.

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It’s a closed group for hashers only, but I think you can click on the link or the image, go to the group on Facebook, and click “join.” Oral will vet you to make sure you’re on of us, then add you as a member. If not, you can DM Oral, who goes by her real name on Facebook. I’m really glad she started this group: it’s a good use of Facebook for hashers.


Pedalfiles Bash Trash: RIP Arthur Gash

On Saturday, November 4th, the Pedalfiles Bicycle Hash House Harriers lost our Grandmaster, Arthur Gash.

Gash was a long-time Tucson hasher. I can’t remember exactly when he started running with the jHavelina H3, but it was a long time ago. Pick’n'Flick and I were there for his virgin hash, and later his naming. We barely knew him then but got to know him well later on. He was loud and rowdy and always up. He started riding with the Pedalfiles almost from the very first bash, showing up on a rickety old Huffy that must have weighed a hundred pounds. As he did with the hash, he quickly got into bashing.

Late last year he offered to take over as Pedalfiles GM. He was the perfect person for the job. Between monthly Pedalfiles bashes, he and his partner Fuck Me would drive to Sierra Vista and Phoenix to ride in their bashes, and his ambassadorship paid off, with lots of Sierra Vista and Phoenix bashers showing up for our events. He revitalized the Pedalfiles and gave us new energy. We owe him a lot.

Gash co-hared the September Pedalfiles bash, stepping in at the last minute for a basher who had to drop out. A week before the October bash, which I was scheduled to hare, he felt bad and out of breath and Fuck Me made him check into hospital. The first word we got was blood clots in his legs and lungs. He was released just before my October bash and Fuck Me drove him to the start. We could all see the difference: Gash had lost a lot of weight, and his famous energy had deserted him. But he was there at the beer check and on-afters, and we all cheered him on.

What he told a few people that day, but not everyone, was that the actual diagnosis was stage IV pancreatic cancer. Not many days later he was back in hospital, then hospice, then he was gone.

Our local hash community is rallying around Fuck Me, of course, and organizing a combined hash and bash in early December. There’ll be a short memorial, separate trails for runners and riders, a circle, and a potluck on-after to send Gash on his way to G and the other great hashers who are waiting for him in hash heaven. Will we be loud and rowdy? You bet. We want Gash to hear us.

RIP Arthur Gash, friend, hasher, and basher.


Area Half-Mind Expresses Half-Baked Thoughts (Updated 10/19/17)

IMG_4224_1I feel like sharing some poorly thought out observations on this beautiful Wednesday (beautiful because we adopted a new dachshund yesterday, and who knows, maybe he’ll turn out to be a hasher too).

By all accounts InterAmericas Hash in Phoenix was brilliant. Every attendee I’ve spoken with has said so, and I believe them. Of course I know some of the organizers and have hashed with many of the kennels who scouted and sponsored trails in and around Phoenix. I’m not a bit surprised.

I’ll be honest with you. At the 2015 InterAmericas in Portland I realized how much I hated being surrounded by throngs of loud drunken hashers. Then and there I decided my interhashing days were over, so I never signed up for Phoenix. I hared a local trail over the weekend and talked with another hasher, 2X4, who was at Phoenix and who had the same reaction. So it’s not just me.

Drinking’s not my thing any more, but it still is for most hashers. Okay, live and let live and all that, but interhashes and big crowds really bring out the loutish side of hashing and I’ll take a pass.

There’s been some commentary to this effect on the hash list, and I note it’s all coming from older hashers like me. Younger hashers wonder where the old-timers go? They move on to smaller clubs with older memberships, and you will too, some day. It’s just natural, I guess.

Update (10/19/17): Heard last night from a long-time hasher friend who attended the Phoenix InterAm and wanted to share her take on it. She said organizers obviously put a in lot of planning and work on the trails, but that a lot of attendees seemed to be there to see and be seen, not so much to actually do the trails (she mentioned a trail with two buses full of hashers, out of which only 15 actually did trail). And I have to admit I’ve heard similar comments from other IAH 2017 attendees: it’s all about the drinking, it’s all about the happi coats, it’s all about showing off patch collections, etc.

I can’t say anything, because I wasn’t there … I’m just passing on comments from a very experienced hasher, a person I like and respect, a person who’s been to more InterHashes and InterAmericas Hashes than most of us, a person who knows what she’s talking about.

Anyway, on-on to InterAmericas 2019, which will be on a cruise ship, with all-inclusive pricing for cabins, food, and drink. Although the idea seems shocking at first glance, it only makes sense. I know most of the hashers who organized recent InterAms. What do they all say afterward? “Never again!”

There were 1,500 hashers at InterAm 2015 and 2,000 at InterAm 2017. InterAm 2019 is planning on 2,500. Imagine trying to set up an interhash for 2,500 people. Turning over feeding and lodging to a big resort or cruise ship company was probably inevitable. World interhash is even bigger (did I hear 7,000 hashers went to the last one?), and honestly I don’t know how anyone manages to pull it off. They don’t call it hash mismanagement just because it sounds cute!

That said, a cruise ship InterAm, with pricing beginning at around $800 (not including air fare to Miami), is out of reach for most hashers. InterAms and InterHashes have never been cheap, what with the costs of getting there and staying in hotels, and that’s why a lot of hashers prefer going to smaller regional hash events. How many old and new friends are you really going to be able to meet at a huge event as opposed to a small one with just one or two hundred in attendance? And there are plenty of small hash weekend events to choose from … just check Hazukashii’s hash calendar every month or so, and plan a road trip to one near you.

A few weeks ago I was searching for a way to say the-hash-that-named-us. Like many of you, Pick’n'Flick and I started hashing with one kennel but moved away before anyone there go to know us well enough to name us. We started with Tampa H3 but moved to Okinawa after only a few hashes. We’ve always called Tampa H3 our mother hash, but what to call Okinawa H3, which named us? I put the question to the hash list.

I expected some snobbery from members of traditional kennels that don’t bestow hash names toward vulgar upstart kennels that do, and in due course those old arguments were trotted out, but other list members got my point over how important hash names are to many hashers and took the question seriously. My old hashing mate and friend of the blog Likk’mm came up with the best term: christening hash. And now I know what to call Okinawa H3, where other hashers got to know us, accepted us into the hashing family, and gave us the names we go by today.

Reference Harvey Weinstein and the latest Hollywood circular firing squad: another old hashing mate and friend of the blog, Tongueless of the Gypsies in the Palace H3, points out that hashers are no strangers to sexual harassment and even assault. I’ve ranted about it in the past, about getting young women hashers drunk at the circle and bullying them into flashing their tits or worse, about a few incidents of rape and attempted rape at hash events. Despite my rants, that kind of shit still goes on, probably as much as ever given our habit of drinking and getting rowdy at the circle.

So try not to be too self-righteous over Mr. Weinstein and the other men in the entertainment industry being denounced today. We’re just as guilty.


Pedalfiles Bash Trash: 10/15/17

Last Sunday the Pedalfiles Bicycle Hash House Harriers celebrated its 11th on-oniversary. Tucson’s bike hash was founded in October 2006 by two local hashers, Bimbo by Day and Casual Friday (that’s them on the left), both of whom have since moved away. Both were in Phoenix for InterAmericas Hash the weekend before, and we tried to talk them into staying over in Tucson an extra week so they could be here, but work … sworn enemy of hashers everywhere … made that impossible.

We came close, though … Casual Friday spent a couple of days in Tucson on her way home to Florida, and was able to scout and bless Sunday’s trail with the hare, Flying Booger.

Having secured the approval of 50% of the founding members, Flying Booger announced the start and look at all the bashers who showed up at Hi Corbett Field!

The pack

Trail headed north through some quiet neighborhoods, looped behind UMC and onto the U of A campus, then down back alleys to a beer check at Bison Witches on 4th Avenue, where Flying Booger bought the first round in honor of another on-oniversary, his birthday (we won’t say which one because it’s too depressing).

Trail continued over the Snake Bridge to the Aviation Bikeway, though no one in the pack was really quite sure because Booger nodded off and forgot to drop flour on most of it. On a checkback near the end, 2X4 got diverted on old trail from another hash, old trail the hare never noticed when he was scouting. G smiled upon us and everyone made it on-in back at Hi Corbett Field, where we loaded up the bikes and drove to the Wooden Nickel for on-afters, where a good time was had by all.

Special thanks to 2X4 and Skinnidip, who came up from Sierra Vista to ride with us, and I hope some of us can return the compliment by driving down their way for Skinnidip’s Monthly Cycle bash this coming Sunday, October 22nd. Also most special thanks to our GM, Arthur Gash, who crawled out of his hospital bed to autobash with us. He’s going to be out of action for a while and Flying Booger will fill in as GM and hare-raiser until he’s better.

One last photo, just to prove Casual Friday was in Tucson earlier in the week, and at the on-oniversary bash in spirit:

Casual Friday & Flying Booger

Here’s to founders, they’re true blue, they are hashers, through and through.
They are piss-pots, so they say, tried to get to heaven but they went the other way!

Next month’s bash will be Sunday, November 19th, hared by My Clit Talks. Stand by for news!