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Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 by Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.

Half-Mind Interviews

After a long break I recently added two new Half-Mind Interviews to these pages. The latest hashers to bare all are the Long Island Lunatics H3′s I Feel Tower and the Happy Heretics H3′s own Shit Happens. You can see both interviews immediately below this post.

All total, I’ve interviewed 44 hashers to date, and plan to conduct more in the future. You can see the Half-Mind Interview Index here; just click on a name and you’ll be taken to the interview itself.

If you’ve read some of the interviews before, please take another look. Going through the older interviews I discovered many of the photos had gone missing, so I dug up fresh ones (Facebook & HashSpace are your friends, dear hashers … or maybe your worst enemies). Hey, if you’ve never laid eyes on some of our more alluring harriettes, you’re in for a treat!

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere in these pages, if you know a worthy hasher who should be interviewed (someone who has made a contribution to hashing), please use the contact form to let me know, and give me the hasher’s email address or phone number if you have it.


Half-Mind Interview: Shit Happens Delivers the Money Shot

I know two porn stars who hash: A Stitch In Time Saved Mine (John Wayne Bobbit) and Captain Zero (Dave Cummings). I also know a hasher who looks like a porn star, Shit Happens, founder of the Happy Heretics H3 in Mt Pleasant, South Carolina:

muddy, doofus, shit copy

Shit Happens (center) w/ Muddy & Doofus

You thought I was kidding, am I right?

Born Chuck Magera in Louisville, Kentucky, Shit Happens started hashing in 1989, not long after I did. In his 25 years of hashing, he’s covered more ground than me, to the point where I bow in his general direction and proclaim, “I am not worthy!”

Shit Happens has been active in hash mismanagement, serving stints as a GM, RA, Beermeister, and OnSec. I always ask the hashers I interview what their general hashing preferences are: Shit Happens likes his hashes mixed, and he loves a circle that sings. When it comes to trails, he’s an advocate of A to As, or as he says, “A to A prime.”

Most of the younger hashers I interview think the only way to set a trail is to hare it live … sadly, during their formative hashing years they were lied to about the nature of hashing and think it’s some kind of race. I’m delighted to meet in Shit Happens a hare after my own heart, who dead hares his trails in the enlightened knowledge that a pre-laid trail can be far more inventive and challenging than a live trail.

I salute you, Shit Happens!


Shit Happens, when was your first hash?

September 1989.

How did you find out about hashing?

My best friend at the time (Boboran) went and got named. He waited till after he got named and then invited me … I was a serious runner at the time (70 -100 miles/week), and loved it so much that  I went 257 consecutive weeks without missing a trail …  my running went to hell, but my hashing went way up

Why are you named Shit Happens?

Have had two hash names, my first was “Upchuck” since the group could not think of anything original. In 1992, a whole lot of crazy stuff happened in a short period of time (?ivorce, breaking both arms, face and nose, and getting arrested) and I was renamed Shit Happens. I also have a Palatka name of “Fucks on a Tractor” and DC name of “Ron Jeremy.”

Did you have a hashing mentor?

Three actually, first one was Wandering Dick from Columbian H3 who is now deceased. He taught me to respect my hash elders. He was around 65 when I first starting hashing and would come to Charleston often to hash. and then there was Jackoff from the Charleston H3, who taught me to travel, and lots of other pearls of wisdom. Plus he allowed numerous hash events on his property, many of which are now legendary. And then there is Mr Jackson from Rumson. Holy cow, when I grow up, I want to be like him. I was fortunate enuf to be invited and attend his 80th birthday recently. He has more fun than 99% of the hashing population, and he looks great, and is truly a nice guy. I just hope I last as long as he has …

When & where was your first away hash?

GA/FL at Tybee Island probably 91 or 92.

Where have you hashed?

43 states and 29 countries … stats are on Where Have U Hashed. By the total sort count, I am currently ranked 15th in the world.

Are there places you haven’t hashed but would like to?

I would like to be the 3rd person to hash all 50 states. Would love to hash more in Asia and Russia.

Are there places where you wouldn’t consider hashing?

I am scared to go to Africa … sorry, but with AIDS and Ebola, I have no desire to hash there….

Do you have any favorite haring techniques?

Yep, I love to pre-lay a trail with hundreds of checks to enable the walkers to keep up with the fast runners. I frequently do YBFs to make sure the fast runners get a good workout. I don’t know who taught me this, probably something I brought back from Dallas or Houston, but its really cool when the walkers and FRBs finish at the same time.

What’s the best thing that ever happened to you at a hash?

I did meet a couple of my ex-wives at hashes, one good, and one bad … but the best thing was that at US Nash hash at Deadwood, SD in May of 08, on the Friday nite trail in Deadwood. I stopped at a the first casino I saw, and after 5 hands, won $33,000 playing Let It Ride … I gave away over $14,000 to hashers and civilians who were there … also hit big in Vegas, Bullhead city, and  Tahoe….

What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you at a hash?

Back when I was skinnier, I was running the Columbia Red Dress run, and tripped and broke my arm when I stepped on my full length red dress. I also passed out in Orlando in 95 on the long trail (21 miles) on Saturday as I had run 120 miles that week, and wasn’t drinking enuf electrolytes … the trail was great, but only had water at the stops, and ended up with  Hyponatremia … I was fully conscious, but couldn’t pick myself off the ground. They sent a Jeep in the woods with Gatorade to pick me up, and I was fine, but the doctor at the on-in made me ride the naked bus instead of running the next day (darn).

What is the most dangerous trail you’ve done?

Two mos ago, the idiots here decided to run during a lightning storm. I have had two friends killed by lightning, and I took shelter on a church  porch and stayed there till it stopped. The idiots kept running. Lightning struck a tree not more than 100 yards from where I was. We were damn lucky no one was killed.

What have been your most remarkable hashing experiences?

Traveling and meeting new people. I have been all over the world. Most people think they have “seen it all.” I am still finding new places to go. Its great to go to another state or country and have a hasher put you up, sight unseen, and show you the ropes. I was also fortunate enuf to meet a hasher who worked for US Airways who put me down as his domestic partner. I flew FREE for over 5 years, and would pick a hash to go to by how many available seats were on the plane. I went to Amsterdam 43 times, flew to the West Coast over 20 times, and hashed over 100x in the UK … I flew so much one year that my domestic partner got a letter from the airline telling him that I flew more miles than anyone else in their system. I would look at the hash calendar on Thursday or Friday at work, check what seats were available, and then take off. Since I worked for the state, I got 73 paid days off a year. When we had furloughs for weeks at a time, my co-workers all complained; however, I just smiled,and headed off to the airport.

If you could pick the location of a future Interhash, where would it be, and why?

I would love for it to come to the States, preferably Vegas or New Orleans. I would be happy to assist, as I put on large running events for a living and have lots of experience putting on hash events. I am tired of having to fly ½ way around the world to attend an Interhash event. I know its a lot of work, but at the present rate, it WILL NEVER LEAVE PANASIA, and that knocks off about 90% of most American hashers. As you know, international hashing is NOT a cheap proposition. I don’t think I have ever spent less than $4-5000 to attend an Interhash. I wish that more good hashers could afford to go to Interhash as it really is a life-changing experience, after the first one (KL) I was hooked … I kick myself in the butt for not going to Cypress or Rotorua.

What do you most love about hashing? What keeps you coming back?

The people and camaraderie. I am closer to my “hash family” then I am with my biological family. These are the people who have seen me thru hard times and have been there to celebrate my accomplishments. I can truly say that ALL of my best friends are hashers.

What part of hashing could you do without (if anything)?

The bullshit and craziness that the new people have brought to the hash. Violence and meanness have no place at the hash. Neither does dumping buckets of sludge on people, trashing hotels, and stealing hashers’ stuff, nor does sharpying people when they are asleep. New hashers simply do not respect their elders, nor traditions.

Have your attitudes toward hashing or hashers changed over the years?

Yep, I used to do every trail every time. I now have adopted the Zippy tradition and rarely ever leave camp … however, I did do six trails while I was in Europe for Interhash2 (Brussels). I will do a trail if it’s in a scenic place and is well laid. As far as my attitude towards hashers is concerned, there used to be very few hashers I didn’t like. Nowadays, its a crap shoot … when you show up at hashes, there may be 50% assholes. As Jackoff would say, “It’s not right, it’s not wrong, it’s just different” … that’s right, but you still don’t need to be an asshole (or act like one). Its not cool to throw flour at a Waffle House and say “It’s OK, its not antrhrax”’… that’s just stupid, but it happened.

Has hashing affected your personal or professional life (for good or ill)?

I was a state attorney for 30 years until I retired four years ago (I put people in jail for a living). It was a great stress relief for me and provided great stories on Monday for my colleagues who were living vicariously thru me … there were many Monday morning debriefing stories in my office. I live to hash these days, as I am retired and have nothing better to do. Unfortunately, my race business gets in the way sometime and I have to show up late. 99% of my trips now are hash-related.

Do you tell everyone you meet about the hash, or only people you think might become good hashers?

I am more discreet in who I invite now. We already have enuf assholes in the hash. I know that Houston H4 did a survey years ago, and only 5% of virgins who came out stuck around to become full time hashers. That was a stat that sticks with me today. Hashing is not for everyone. You really have to be a “certain kind of person” to stick with it … I know most of the people on the top of the ‘Where have I hashed” list, and I’m sure they feel the same way I do….

Are there certain things all hashers should believe in?

Yep, respect your hash elders and hash traditions. If not the hash will die out. All too often I have seen a new group come to the hash and want to change things around. Supposedly, there are “no rules” in hashing, but there are some pretty damn strong traditions that need to be preserved for future hash generations. No one would dare tell Rumson not to hash at 10:17AM on Saturday, nor tell the Trash to quit bibbing … it’s part of what makes them what they are. So you new people who are reading this, DONT CHANGE TRADITIONS!

What do you think you’ve contributed to hashing?

I Love to set pub crawls, and have organized some of the  best ones around. Ask the 63 people on Babe’s Hash Cruise last year about the trail I set in Old Town Puerto Rico, where I flew down there just to set trail. I credit this still from Otis from Orlando who taught me everything I know. I  also love hosting large hash events, and when I do so, I make the promise that if you didn’t have a GREAT, not good, GREAT time, I will double your money back. In over 25 years of doing this, I haven’t given a dime back yet.

What’s in your hashing future?

I will be hosting the 20th Analversary of NC/SC for my 60th Bday next year in Charleston (an event I started for my 40th Bday). I am planning on finishing my 50 states next year, and will follow Babe Thruster’s Hash cruise next August by plane (like I did this year). I am also planning on setting the post lube pub crawl on Monday after Interam in Oregon (with the Orlando people who started that tradition). I also want to travel more to Europe, but its tough to do everything. As my good buddy Anal Recreation would say, “So many parties, so little time.”

- Read more Half-Mind Interviews here!


Half-Mind Interview: I Feel Tower

I met I Feel Tower two Sundays ago when he dropped in on a Pima Independent Sunday Social Hash trail I hared. He’d contacted me earlier to tell me he was coming, and since the PISS Hash doesn’t get many visitors I worked extra hard to lay a decent trail. I think he liked it, even though our little hash is more sedate than most of the kennels he runs with.

It’s been a while since I interviewed a hasher, but I Feel Tower’s hashing resume is an impressive one, and I thought you might like to learn a little more about him.


I Feel Tower in the Missouri River on a Big Hump H3 trail

Walt Moore (yes, he has a mortal name) is originally from Virginia, where he started hashing 17 years ago. Today he lives in New York City, where he hashes with the Long Island Lunatics HHH, Queens Black Knights HHH, and Skull & Boners HHH. Over the years he’s held about every mismanagement office there is; he’s also the founder of 11 kennels, 8 of which are still on trail.

I asked I Feel Tower what kind of hash he prefers. He’s hashed with single-sex and mixed kennels and tells me he prefers the mixed ones; although he confesses to being a bit too slow to live lay as often as he’d like, he’s a fan of live trails. A hasher after my own heart, he says the best circles are singing circles. Damn right!

Let’s meet our latest interview subject, shall we?


When & where was your first hash?

I began hashing with the Richmond Hash in December of 1997. We ran by a building site on that fateful trail. The beer stop was placed on top of a 40-foot mountain of saved topsoil. So we had to climb it hand over muddy hand. I was hooked!

How did you find the hash, or did the hash find you?

My wife, 2nd Cumming, and I came to the hash at the invitation of her brother, TIC, & his wife, Cums With Fingers.

How did you get your hash name?

When the Richmond Hash questions hashers for naming, it has always allowed stories that pre-date hash participation. Thus, I was named I-Feel Tower in 1998 because my 1st experiences were in Paris in Pigalle one night in 1977.

When & where was your first away hash?

I didn’t discover the joys of travel hashing until 2001. That year I visited the Appalachian, Fort Lee and Charlottesville Hash House Harriers. I also took a train to DC for their infamous Red Dress Run. I’ve been traveling ever since.

Where have you hashed?

In the last 17 years, I have visited 122 kennels in North America, Europe, India, and Malaysia.

Do you have any favorite haring techniques?

Here are two examples illustrating why I could never be McGyver: While setting the first Medley Of Mud trail in the Great Swamp (aka “Maggie’s Hole”), I discovered an abandoned fiberglass ExCargo car top carrier. The swamp was flooded and the water was fast. So I flipped it over, sat in it crossed-legged and poled it along like a boat. Things were going great until I realized I had no way to steer or back up. So I abandoned ship… and most of my gear. Another time, I was setting trail in Missouri. I came upon a large culvert along a creek that I wanted to explore but I had no flashlight. No worries. I spotted a cattail, wrapped some toilet paper around it, doused it with Purell and lit it with my cigar lighter- all essential trail items. I had an excellent torch…for about 7 yards when it burned out.

What’s the best thing that ever happened to you at a hash?

I was floored by the hospitality of my going away trail at the Richmond Hash. I had been there for 11 years. For my part: I set a gruesome trail and made personalized Medley Of Mud boonie hats for attendees. Most everyone showed up from Richmond, Charlottesville, Fort Eustis and Tidewater. They made me Trail Master Emeritus for my 4 years of service in that role. They signed and gave me the FRB paddle and I had a great send-off on the ice. It was a perfect hash.

What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you at a hash?

I hared the shiggy trail with Jerry’s Kid for Virginia’s Interhash X in 2003. During our practice run, I peed underwater in the swamp at a beer stop. Why not? I was waist-deep in a wasteland! I thought I’d only improve the water quality. The joke was on me as I nearly died of Typhoid Fever. I lost 12 pounds in 12 days and had infections in my bladder and prostate. However, I’m happy to report I recovered in time to set the actual trail 2 months later. On the bright side, I knew as the trail began that nothing worse would ever happen to inspire hashers to rename me.

What’s the most dangerous trail you’ve done?

I hared a Medley Of Mud trail along Upham Brook, an impressive swamp near Richmond. One of my regulars, RUFUS, was a former Marine who couldn’t swim. I always brought a life jacket for him. We had a terrific storm that caused a huge flash flood. Somehow, we found some of the beer at the beer stop along the brook. When I set it, it was resting on the sand. By the time we got there, we were all waist to chest deep and the water was brown, angry and getting higher by the minute. Laa-Laa thought it would be a funny prank to grab RUFUS, life jacket and all, and float downstream. I felt compelled to follow to keep him alive (RUFUS not Laa-Laa). But first I advised everyone else to go back by the road. Then I grabbed the hashit. I reasoned, if I died, it’d be in the proper hands, right? I swam downstream with a couple of volunteers. We really flew! By the time we found RUFUS and Laa-Laa, they both needed our help. We formed a human chain and pulled them to safety.

What’s been your most remarkable hashing experience?

Titanic’s hash funeral has to be the best I’ve ever seen or heard about. He came from my hometown of Richmond VA, but as far as I know he never hashed there. Instead, he moved to KL where he started their full moon. When he died in 2002, the KL Full Moon memorial was a sight to see! Every hasher in the entire Klang Valley showed up for the trail. Then, they all donned black T-shirts featuring Titanic’s caricature for the on-after. This party was held in the ballroom of a country club with an expansive display of Malaysian food, two musical acts, Charlie Dynamite spinning tunes, speeches, a few tears and dancing. It was quite a send-off! For my part, I founded a full moon as a memorial for Titanic following an equally moving Irish Wake in Richmond. Titanic’s mother, one of my favorite hashers and my inspiration for this new hash, was named Unsinkable Molly Brown that night. She’s been hashing with us ever since.

What’s the most memorable trail you’ve done?

Here is a 6-pack of snapshots:

  • Petaling HHH: We ran in the 100 degree jungle heat, up 50 degree hills and right through a village of aborigines. This was my first Malaysian trail and first time on the ice.
  • Derry HHH: 8 Richmond Hashers were inspired to fly to Northern Ireland for the inaugural. We were joined in Derry by an American ex-pat couple and a handful of their Irish friends. This hash was SO PERFECT it only lasted one trail.
  • Big Hump HHH: Trail featured a huge, wet cliff of mud. I placed the beer stop right on top of it. Then, we used it as a sliding board down to Schoenberg Creek.
  • Southern Comfort HHH: The hares perilously crossed a rock quarry at night. Most folks had no flashlight and sudden drop-offs were everywhere. There was also a 40-yard swim in the moonlight. Points to the one hasher who completed trail totally nude. This occurred at America’s Interhash in Savannah GA.
  • Key West HHH: The hare’s trail penetrated a large mangrove thicket and dropped us into the Salt Canal just as a violent thunderstorm rolled in. He had instructed us to “swim to the left.” This was especially hairy due to the lightening strikes and powerboats racing to get to home. One in our party couldn’t swim, so a Coastie towed him along for quite a ways. We finally found a retired couple that invited us into their backyard for beer and safety.
  • Richmond HHH: Clam ChowHer, A dear friend and true blue fan of the Medley Of Mud, died in 2013. I set the same trail he and I had set two years before in the Chickahominy Swamp. This was a Medley memorial and I made patches featuring his likeness for “survivors.” 60 hashers showed up including a busload from DC. Little did we know a tornado was bearing down on us! It traveled directly overhead just after our opening circle. It tore the roof off the building next door. We all sheltered in the nearest car we could find. After it blew over, we ran trail, stopped a freight train, saw a burning tree out in the middle of the swamp and enjoyed a feast of pizza, beer, and stories at the on-after. Clam ChowHer himself was said to be the cause of our extra helping of shiggy.

What’s your favorite hashing event?

Gispert-speed to the Medley Of Mud! I created this summer series of slop in 2003 in homage to Rambo, of Charlottesville Hash fame. We thrive on death defying shiggy in the swamps that seem to surround Richmond VA. One of our haunts, the Chickahominy, is arguably the most impenetrable swamp in the US. After all, the US Army couldn’t cross it in 1863. The Medley regularly attracts folks from one and even two states away.

Have you ever been busted while laying or running trail?

I was nearly arrested for murdering my son. No shit, there I was, in Belleville, Illinois. I was scouting along a very shiggy creek with my 11 year old. I came back the next week without him. The neighbors watching from their window took note. They also took note of the large, red Swiss Army duffle I was dragging into the woods. They noticed the red spray chalk on my hands, too. Next thing I know, I’m happily situating the beer and ice out of my duffle down by the creek when I hear a Belleville Policeman tell me not to move. I have no idea how he got that close! His gun was about 4 feet from my face. I was handcuffed and two of them led me up the hill to their car. More police cars began showing up as they asked me questions, took pictures and examined the machete in my trunk. I had just moved to town, so I had out of state plates, no job and the only person I knew only knew my hash name. So when they called Hailey’s Comet, he said “Walt? Walter Moore? Never heard of him.” Somehow I talked my way out of this mess … and got the beer back!

What do you think you’ve contributed to hashing?

It has been my honor to have founded 11 hash house harriers kennels. I’m happy to report 8 of these are still going strong and are listed on my Hash Founders Hash profile (Hat #86). Here’s the full list:

  • Titanic Memorial Full Moon HHH in Richmond VA on 3/27/02
  • Hoodoo HHH in Richmond VA on 10/10/05 R.I.P.
  • Derry HHH in Northern Ireland on 11/12/06 R.I.P.
  • Tumbling Dice Full Moon HHH in St Louis MO on 6/20/08
  • CoMoTION HHH in Columbia MO on 10/18/08
  • Louisville HHH in Louisville KY on 3/28/09
  • Lexington Lunatics HHH in Lexington KY on 4/29/10
  • Long Island Lunatics HHH on Long Island NY on 5/6/12
  • Wet Cunt HHH in NYC on 10/30/12 R.I.P.
  • Queens Black Knights HHH in Queens NY on 4/12/13
  • Skull & Boners HHH in New Haven CT on 11/10/13

What’s in your hashing future?

More hashing! I believe this is truly the world’s most perfect sport.

- Read more Half-Mind Interviews here!


PISS Hash & Pedalfiles Bash Trash: 10/12/14

The Pima Independent Sunday Social Hash kicked off its 2014/2015 season with a September trail in Green Valley. Sadly, no one turned up, so there was no hash (and no trash). Yoda’s Green Valley trails are always a lot of fun, and it was a real disappointment no one made the effort to drive down. I’ll blame the weather … it was still killer hot in September.

A lesser group of hashers would have taken that as a bad omen for October, but not us. The next PISS hash on the calendar was to be on Sunday, October 12, and we weren’t going to cancel it just because September sucked. Besides, we were going to have a visitor, I Feel Tower from the Long Island Lunatics Hash in New York, who planned to drive all the way to Arizona to hash with us. Given that, I decided to hare October’s hash myself.

Then another special guest made herself known: Bimbo by Day, a former Tucson hasher who co-founded the Pedalfiles Bash back in October 2006. She hashes in San Diego now, but she was going to be in Tucson the same weekend as the October PISS Hash. The only thing was, she wanted to do a bike hash. Normally the PISS and the Pedalfiles meet on different Sundays, but because Bimbo was going to be here here we decided to put on a joint event: one trail for runners and walkers, and a separate trail for bicycle hashers, both starting and ending at the same location, Udall Park on the east side of Tucson.

And guess what? It worked!

Of course, before it worked it had to be planned, scouted, and practiced. I was doing the hash trail and Master Meat Finder was going to hare the bash trail. MMF was out of town and wouldn’t be back until the day before the hash, so I agreed to scout both trails, then ride the bash trail with her the afternoon before. My idea for the bash trail involved a long uphill climb, a short water crossing, and a downhill on-home run. When I scouted it, it was brilliant. Here I am at the start of the water crossing:


The water crossing that was not meant to be

When MMF and I rode it together Saturday afternoon, the trickle of water had turned into an uncrossable river. A hurricane had come up from Mexico earlier in the week, dumping rain on the nearby mountains and flooding our normally dry riverbeds. MMF wasn’t deterred … borrowing my Pima County Bike Trail map, she plotted out a new trail from scratch, with no time left for practice. As every hare knows, last-minute surprises and changes of plans are common, and a good hare always lands on his or her feet, as MMF did.

On hash day, Bimbo by Day rode with Master Meat Finder as co-hare for the bash trail, and I hared the hash trail as planned. Here we are at the start:


Bimbo by Day, Master Meat Finder, Flying Booger

The best thing … besides haring with good friends and showing a visiting hasher a good time … a huge crowd of local hashers and bashers turned out. Let’s hope October is a good omen for November!


Hashers and bashers at the start

Even though our combined hash/bash was a success, nearly everyone who came said the same thing: they had a hard time choosing whether to do the hash trail or the bash trail, and wished they could have done both, so in November we’ll go back to separate hashing and bashing weekends. Announcements for future trails will be on the PISS and Pedalfiles Facebook pages.


SWP Files: Calling 911

Two brief items to add to the Suspicious White Powder files:

Screen Shot 2014-10-13 at 7.25.25 AM

click to view full sized image on Flickr

On On!


SWP Files: Case #14-164751

Another entry for the Suspicious White Powder files, posted to Facebook this morning by a hasher in Texas:

Incredible Edible Spread, from DFWHHH, also works at the Police Department. After a NoDUH hash she found this:

Incredible Edible Spread here sending out my hearty congratulations to Bald Head Yogurt Slinger & Just Bryan for creating a major police incident last night laying trail! I work for the Plano Police and last night was dispatching for the West side of town, so I didn’t notice a little Investigation call that went down on the East side. However I arrive to work this afternoon and check my email for our daily “Major Calls List” of serious incidents that are sent to all personnel. Because this is so close to our police station and City Hall and the whole antharax scares in the past, it made the list. I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. I’ve since emailed the investigating officer and the Supervisor to clear the situation up, and assured them I would give our “hares” a hard time. I told the investigating officer I was impressed that he managed to follow our trail without knowing the symbols, but had just missed his chance for a nice cold one apparently! I have not met Just Bryan, but I smell a hash name having just been earned!

Major Calls:
14-164751 Investigation 1520 Ave K (City of Plano) White male throwing white powder on ground and on property from a brown bag. PD followed “trail” to top level parking garage at Eastside Village. Unable to locate subject.

Here are the notes from the 911 call:
9/22/2014 19:32:14 white male outside of the building throwing a white powder on the ground
9/22/2014 19:32:33 has thrown it all over the parking lot and around the trees on the property
9/22/2014 19:32:56 early – mid 30s dark blue shirt light blue pants dark baseball cap
9/22/2014 19:33:11 male is looking over his shoulders as he does it and walking very fast
9/22/2014 19:33:29 powder is in a big brown paper bag
9/22/2014 19:33:56 last seen crossing the street by Eastside Village throwing it around that building
9/22/2014 19:59:35 Officer Newton- Eastside Village / on foot top level of parking garage

I read the officers report which states the following:
Newton 1766 – I followed his powder trail all the way up to the top level parking garage at Eastside Village. It ended there and “BN” was layed out in powder. Subject possibly a resident because the trail went through a locked gate. Unable to locate subject.

There is nothing I can add to make this any funnier than it is.


A Memorable Trail (Updated)

gfd rescuers

Guam Hash House Harriers’ BFFs in Action

The next time your “serious” runner friends sneer at you for being a hasher, show them this:

79 Hash Runners Lost in Bush Saturday Night, Led to Safety by GFD Sunday Morning

Guam – 79 people from the running club known as the “Hash House Harriers” got lost in the bush around Mt. Schroeder in Merizo Saturday evening and had to be led out to safety by Guam Fire and Rescue.

The “Hash House Harriers” are international group of non-competitive, running social clubs.

Acting Guam Fire Spokesman FF II Kevin Reily reports the initial 911 call came in just after 9pm Saturday reporting 25 runners were lost.

Rescue 3 launched a search and soon located part of the group. That’s when they learned that there were more than 70 hash runners, says Reily, not just 25. Rescue 1 then joined in the search for the remaining runners. In all, 13 GFD personnel were involved in the search which Reily described as “exhaustive.”

Reily reports all of them were led to safety by 4:30am Sunday. 3 suffered minor injuries from abrasions and fatigue. But no one had to be transported to the hospital. 1 of the “Harriers” fell into a ravine, but Reily reports that that person was helped out by another Harrier and led to the trail-head.

The hashers told rescue personnel they started their run at 4pm Saturday.

Its the second time in less than a week that a group of people have had to be lead to safety by Guam Fire and Rescue getting lost at night in the jungle. Last Thursday night a group of young men got lost while hiking in the area of the the Pagat caves. They were led to safety Friday morning by GFD Rescue Unit 1.

Let’s review the highlights. The hash started at 4 PM. The first emergency call, presumably from one of the lost hashers, was after 9 PM, 5 hours later (Guam is very close to the Equator, so it’s pitch black at 9 PM). Although 25 hashers were quickly found, more than 50 were still unaccounted for. The last of the pack was found and led to safety at 4:30 AM, over 12 hours later.

Guam H3, this one goes into the Half-Mind annals!

Update (9/16/14): received following from a Guam hasher today. Seems the article was a little overblown (shocking, I know):

Hey Flying Booger,

The local paper didn’t get the facts straight.  The trail was on Mt. Finansanta, not Mt. Schroeder.  There were approximately 79 people that started the trail.  Most of the pack made it in without needing to be rescued, albeit after dark.  One guy tumbled down a very steep hillside, he broke some ribs, but initial reports were that he broke a leg (not sure how that miscommunication happened).  That is what prompted the call to Guam Fire Department.  He was able to hike out on his own.  There were 18 stuck on the trail that didn’t make it in until around 3:30 am.  Some, but not all, had lights so it was slow going down the mountain and down the waterfalls.  Some of the front runners went back on trail to help.  Only one of the GFD personnel was able to make it up the trail to the top of the mountain (granted they were carrying a lot of gear and trail was steep and muddy in places), and some of the hashers that went back on trail helped them carry some of the gear (myself included).  I was with the rescue party (4 hashers, one local neighbor and 3 GFD personnel) that went out to get the injured guy; we didn’t back track on trail, but made our own trail through the jungle in the dark to approach from the bottom of the mountainside – but he was no longer there because he hike out on his own…

Regrettable we were in the news.  Fortunately nobody was seriously injured.  Unfortunately there has been a rash of lost hikers in the local news lately (all the other incidents non hashers) including one death, so this is getting a lot of coverage…

F. Tampon


Killed on Trail

A Tampa hasher, Bed & Bucfest, died Friday night after being hit by a car while she was running a hash trail in Orlando. I didn’t know her, but I know Tampa hashers who were close to her, and I know they’re hurting. It’s a terrible thing.

I don’t know any details. Don’t know how it happened or who was at fault. I probably don’t want to know. What I do know is that having a hasher get killed on trail has always been one of my secret fears, both as a hasher and as a hare.

A number of hashers have died on trail from heart attacks and the like. That’s always sad, but if you’re a hasher, it’s the most honorable way to depart this life. Getting killed is another thing entirely. Fortunately only a few hashers have actually been killed on trail … I can think of only four or five cases, though there have probably been a few more than that.

I know I’d feel responsible if someone was killed running one of my trails, and I feel for the hashers in Orlando. I feel for B&B’s many friends in Florida and the hashing community. I’ll remember to honor her in my next circle.