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Eleventh Rule of Cooking Club (On-On Gourmet Hash House Harriers)

It’s Paul Ryan’s fault.

The On On Gourmet Hash House Harriers met last night at one of Magret de Canard’s many casas to prepare and consume Portuguese food. Magret prepped and cooked the main dish, Bacalhau a Gomes de Sa, salt cod with onions and potatoes. Crouton deMenthe chopped cabbage, kale, and spinach for the caldo verde (green soup with linguica). Ditalini deMenthe and Anitra Spezzatino made an apple crisp desert. Assisting throughout preparation with slicing, dicing, and chopping were Hermana Gazpacho, Manzo Spezzatino, and Giacomo “Hercules” Mandriano.

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Bacalhau a Gomes de Sa

Bread, cheese, olives, and lots of wine kept us happy during preparation and cooking, along with plenty of conversation and catching up (the last On On Gourmet cooking hash was way back in August, and some of us hadn’t seen each other since).


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L to R: Anitra, Magret, Giacomo, Manzo

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L to R: Hermana, Ditalini, Magret, Anitra


The Portuguese theme was the inspiration of Magret, who grew up with that nation’s cuisine, and everyone enjoyed the dinner. During preparation, Magret wound up throwing most of the recipes into the air and using her memories instead, and the consensus is she pulled it off.

The eleventh rule of cooking club is the result of a brief but heated discussion on the topic of why Donald Trump didn’t ask Congress for the money to build his wall during the two years he had Republican majorities in both the House and Senate, and was laid down in a most vehement manner by Giacomo, who provided additional persuasion via a threat to turn the entire pot of hot Bacalhau a Gomes de Sa over our heads). It is a fine rule indeed: it’s Paul Ryan’s fault, that vaguely Portuguese ass looking bastard.

Our next cooking hash will be at Hermana Gazpacho’s. Fancying a nice poutine, Crouton pushed for a Canadian theme, but was wisely overruled by literally everyone else, so we’ll be making something Italian (and gluten-free, gah) instead.

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Origins

Hash #1: Pope Hash House Harriers, Fayetteville, North Carolina, USA, April 1, 1984. The origin of the infamous & highly regarded Carolina Trash.

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Courtesy of Teats de Swamp, who posted this valuable historical record to Facebook.

If you have similar historical records worthy of sharing with the hashing community, please contact me.

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Upchuck & Die, RIP

This is hardly a place to make announcements, but hashers still read this blog and there may be some who’d want to know that long-time brother hasher Upchuck & Die, originally of Long Beach HHH, lately of Las Vegas HHH, passed away in December. Upchuck was a great traveler who attended all the InterHashes, InterAmericas Hashes, and other major national/regional interhashes, and a lot of you knew him.

His memorial service will be on Wednesday, 30 January 2019, in Las Vegas, Nevada. I want to get the word out to hashers who might want to attend. Pick’n'Flick and I will be there, and I hope other members of the hashing community can come pay their respects as well.

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RIP, Upchuck, and On-On!

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KDH3 Baja Arizona Mash Trash: 12/30/18

Three Knuckledraggers met in Oro Valley on a beautiful but cold Sunday morning for a mash (motorcycle hash) hared by Wankers Aweigh. Trail took us through Catalina, Oracle, and on to the small mining town of San Manuel overlooking the San Pedro River Valley, hidden away on the east side of the Rincon Mountains and Redington Pass. This was the first time Flying Booger and Loose Nut had ever heard of the place, which is just 45 miles from Tucson, but Wankers went to high school there and knew it well.

The road from Oracle to San Manuel was the high point of Sunday’s trail. Oracle is 2,000 feet higher than Tucson and there was snow on both sides of the road leading out of town. Not only that, there were big patches of ice on the road, and Flying Booger’s ride almost went out from under him on the first ice patch we encountered, lending some excitement to the mash. We rode very carefully after that!

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Loose Nut & Wankers on the road to San Manuel

In San Manuel we visited Wanker’s old school, then stopped for a photo op at the town’s Vietnam War memorial.

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San Manual

From there Wankers led us past several No Trespassing signs to a nearby open pit copper mine. Naturally all three of us were layered in warm clothing, which we started to strip off during photo stops but quickly had to stop in order to put back on … it was one of those days where no matter how high the sun got, it stayed cold, and even colder while riding at speed.

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At the closed copper mine

And just because so far it had been a short trail, we rode on-on north on 77 to Mammoth and Winkleman, doubling back to a Mexican restaurant in Mammoth for on-afters and lunch. After all, what’s a mash if you don’t hit or exceed 200 miles? We came pretty close, and we thank Wankers for an excellent trail through some beautiful parts of southern Arizona few visitors … and even some long-time Tucson residents … ever see.

On-On to 2019 and the first mash of the new year, which will be on Sunday, the 27th of January. Flying Booger will hare, and the tentative plan is to head south to Sonoita, Patagonia, and Nogales. Details to be announced by email and on our KDH3 Baja Arizona Facebook page, so stand by for news.

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Sad News From Kampala H3

A boat taking passengers on an evening “booze cruise” on Lake Victoria in Uganda capsized and sank on Saturday, November 24th. Thirty passengers drowned, including four members of the Kampala Hash House Harriers.

As my friend Hazukashii noted, while plenty of hashers have passed on from old age and sickness, it’s a blow when hashers die by mischance. Here’s to you, brothers and sisters of another kennel, and may you be On-On forever!

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Top left: Fred “Sweet Residue” Mawanda
Top right: Rehma “Short Ass” Ashaba
Bottom left: John Bosco “Piston Shaft” Nyanzi
Bottom right: Hajarah “Toffaali” Nagadya

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KDH3 Baja Arizona Mash Trash: 11/25/18

A small group of Knuckledraggers met Sunday morning at the Triple T truck stop on I-10 south of Tucson. Braving blue skies and temperatures in the high 50s were Flying Booger, Wankers Aweigh, Master Meat Finder, and Loose Nut, all ready for a ride down back roads and through cattle country to the historic settlement of Arivaca.

Flying Booger led, since this was the same ride he had to cancel out of in November when his motorcycle was down for maintenance. The back road scheme worked well, except for the part where he got everyone lost and took them on a tour of the adults-only subdivisions of Green Valley, and except for the part where the back road was closed south of the Canoa traffic circle and we had to divert onto the freeway to get to the turnoff at Amado. From there, though, the curvy road to Arivaca was wide open, and we soon arrived at the Gadsen Coffee Company, where we posed for a selfie:

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L to R: Master Meat Finder, Loose Nut, Flying Booger, Wankers Aweigh

The plan for our return ride went off without a hitch: back to Amado for another round of group photos, which you’ll see below, then back north on I-19 to the north end of Green Valley and a combination of lunch and on-afters at the Triple Play Sports Pub on Duval Mine Road. From there we all made our separate ways home, except for Master Meat Finder, who rode pillion with Flying Booger back to the Triple T to fetch her car.

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Border Patrol was everywhere you looked, down there close to Mexico, but they weren’t interested in us, so except for the mandatory checkpoint we enjoyed uninterrupted riding with almost no traffic, and oh by the way for all you pussies who didn’t show up, it never got hotter than 70 degrees, perfect riding weather.

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Next month’s ride will be on the fifth Sunday of December, which falls on the 30th. That way we’re not competing with Christmas, and since the 30th is one day short of New Year’s Eve, we hope a few more Knuckledraggers and prospective members will turn out for the mash (motorcycle hash, if you’re wondering). Our hare and ride leader will be Wankers Aweigh, and as soon as he gives me a starting point and time I’ll get the word out.

The very small and very new Knuckledraggers H3 Riding Club Baja Arizona send greetings to our brother and sister Knuckledraggers everywhere, and wish you the best for the holiday season and a great 2019!

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Not this Judge!

I saw the headline on a news site and thought it was about Brett Kavanaugh. Sadly, no.

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Fourth Judicial District Court Chief Judge Scott Leehy would not disclose the meaning of recent photos that surfaced on social media of him wearing a red dress by a table of open beer bottles and a poster that bragged about his state of inebriation.

In one photo, Leehy, 56, is next to a poster wishing him a happy birthday. The poster refers to Leehy by his first name. The Bud Light poster also displays the phrase, “Sober as a judge…but not this judge!” In another photo, Leehy is seated beneath the Bud Light poster with his arms outstretched.

Leehy’s birthday was Aug. 11, the same day on which the Red Dress Run was held in New Orleans. The annual Red Dress Run is organized by the New Orleans Hash House Harriers as a charity run through the French Quarter. The Hash House Harriers touts itself as a “Drinking Club with a Running Problem.” The Hash House Harriers’ motto alludes to the practice of “hashing,” which involves running or walking while drinking alcohol. During the charity run, participants —including men — wear red dresses and other clothing items normally worn by women.

Well, you can read the rest. Seems pretty clear to me this is self-inflicted damage by a Hash House Harrier, trapped in the “drinking club with a running problem” mindset. It’s not the first time an adult with a lot to lose has been tarred with self-incriminating hash photos, either.

Hashing has a great history, one we all used to know, take pride in, and share with new hashers. Red Dress Runs ditto, especially the charities RDRs support. But what side of hashing do we present to the public? The debauchery. The drinking. The Brett Kavanaugh stuff, and if you think people have a low opinion of our new frat boy Supreme Court justice, consider what they think of Hash House Harriers and hashing.

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The Perfectly Laid Trail II

For another international perspective on hashing, haring, and the perfectly laid trail, here’s a guide from the Polygon Hash House Harriers in Cyprus (author unknown), courtesy of Polygon H3 hasher Big Bang:

HASH CODE

A Guide To The Laying Of Trails

In keeping with the original intentions of the Hash, there should be no rules as such, however, the following are necessary as a guide or code which accommodates an accent on social, healthy exercise and fun.

To start with there are one or two little ‘niceties’ which should be observed. When bringing a prospective member on their first run, you must ensure that they are introduced to the committee and particularly the Hash Master BEFORE the run commences, thereafter, it is your responsibility to ensure that they complete the run without mishap.

When taking on the responsibility of being a ‘Hare’, and make no mistake, it is a responsibility, you should recce your proposed trail at least twice, and be certain of every detail, before the date of the run. One of these recces should take place about the time of day during which the run will be held. It is also desirable, and good manners, to inform the On-on of the impending invasion of the restaurant or bar. This also serves to warn that extra staff may be needed to cope with the sudden influx of bodies.

The length of the trail will vary considerably depending largely on the type of terrain over which the trail is laid. As a fairly rough guide, if it takes two hours to walk the final trail, then it should be a hour’s run for the average hasher. An ideal trail keeps everybody together for most of the run, and the whole pack should be back to the run venue within approximately 15 minutes of one another, with slower runners arriving back in not much longer than one hour after the start. To overcome unforeseen difficulties, and to ensure that the run takes place, two hares will normally be required to lay the trail.

Now to the actual laying of the trail. The following points should be adhered to whenever possible.

1. The start and direction of the trail should be clearly marked and uncomplicated for at
least the first half mile, at which point there should be the first CHECK. This check must be a good one, designed to hold the pack for as long as possible in order that the late comers can catch up. The check should be in the form of a large circle of chalk or flour.

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From the check, the third or fourth is ‘On’ and it is optional whether or not you put directional arrows or horns on the circle to indicate the possible direction of the new trail or, indeed, false trails.

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False trails should be indicated by a cross at the end of the trail.

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2. REMEMBER THAT CHECKS ARE DESIGNED TO HOLD AND KEEP THE PACK TOGETHER. In order to do this you may lay false trails from each check point, but it is important to remember that a false trail should not be indicated or marked over 250 meters from the CHECK, and in open country, 100 meters in semi-scrub, or 50 meters in thick scrub. A good run should have at LEAST 6 good checks, and if the checks are laid as per the above code then there should be no need to write ON ON, however it is a good idea if only to jog the minds of the front runners that they should be calling this once having found the correct trail. Again for the Hashers benefit, it is often advisable to indicate LH3 on the occasional arrow just in case there are other arrows in the vicinity.

3. When marking the trail each mark, if using chalk, should be an arrow or, if using flour, should be a blob and no more than 30 meters from each other (these distances are only approximate). This should be adhered to as closely as possible in order that the front runners can be fairly certain when they have run out of trail. It is quite legitimate to make a sudden left or right turn from a comparatively straight trail without indicating such, and the hounds should realise they have over run the trail when the last mark was at least 30 meters behind them, or when the trail is marked with a CHECK BACK.

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4. If the last check has turned the pack onto a narrow, long path over which it is difficult to pass, or a steep shiggy climb, then your next check at the end of this path should be especially designed to hold up the front runners so those who were doing the greatest amount of checking at the last check or the slower runners have time to catch up. Depending on the make up of the pack and the difficulty of the stretch it is sometimes advisable to put a REGROUP to allow the pack to regroup.

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5. Each trail should include a little of everything, depending on the area where the run is being set. A little shiggy, open country, a little bush, level paths etc. It should also include a hill or steps.

6. The occasional long and short should be included to give the front runners a good run and the back markers time to catch up.

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7. Whenever possible very busy main roads should be avoided, and no check should be laid on or even close to a road. Quite apart from the obvious dangers of having a pack milling about near the edge of the road, there is the problem of hearing the pack calling over the noise of the traffic.

8. The last check of a run should be a particularly good one and bring the pack together for, ideally, a good flat or downhill run over a distance of approximately half a mile, giving everybody a chance to stretch their legs.

9. If you wish, you may on this last sector of the run indicate ON HOME which means that each runner is now free to make their own way, over whichever route they feel is quickest to the run venue, but for the benefit of those who are not familiar with that particular area you must maintain a correct trail back to the run venue. After the run the Hares are responsible for checking that all the runners have returned. If any are still missing after a reasonable period of time, they must organise search parties.

10. As Hashing is strictly non-competitive there will be times when new or un-fit Hashers lag behind the pack. It is good policy for one of the Hares, or the Hare, if the trail has only been set by one Hare, to remain at the back of the pack during the run to point any straggler in the right direction, and to ensure that nobody gets lost or left behind. Although it is ‘frowned upon’, all Hashers are susceptible to taking short cuts and are lovingly referred to as SCB’s (Short Cutting B******s) and every Hasher has at one time or other attained this title. So again, it is good policy for the Hare to note when he is setting the run any Short Cuts that may be used for the benefit of new Hashers. If this tactic is employed, it is ESSENTIAL that the Hare does not let the main pack see the SCB’s waiting at a point on the trail, thus indicating to them where the trail is going. Keep them out of sight until the front runners or main pack have arrived.

Finally to all runners, the Hares have taken some time and trouble to ensure that your run will be as enjoyable as possible. Do not spoil it by acting in an unhashma-like manner whilst running. CALL as appropriate and if necessary return along the trail until the next runner has been contacted and knows the direction in which you are running. You should call ‘ON ON’ at each mark once you have established you are ‘ON’. On hearing ‘ARE YOU ON?’ give the appropriate reply i.e. ‘ON’ ‘CHECKING’ ‘CHECK BACK’ ‘ON HOME’. This applies to all runners – front, middle and back.

HARES: REMEMBER THE OBJECT OF THE RUN IS TO TRY AND KEEP THE PACK TOGETHER SO MAKE SURE YOUR CHECKS HOLD UP THE FRONT RUNNERS SO ALLOWING THE SLOWER RUNNERS TO CATCH UP. THIS IS THE ESSENCE OF A GOOD RUN.

Hashing is social running, and is enjoyable for what each person gets out of it. Whether you are an experienced runner or a beginner, each should respect what the other benefits from Hashing. If the experienced Hasher wants to do a lot of running during the Hash, he does this by being up near the front of the pack and doing a lot of checking, and the new or social runners can have their satisfaction by just getting around the trail, even if it means taking the occasional short cut, and both have the pleasure and satisfaction of each other’s company after the run.

GOOD HASHING!

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