August 2014
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Shit hot header photos by Paul, w/assistance from "The Thing?"

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Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 by Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.

Monday Bag o’ Leftovers

leftoversWe sent our Thanksgiving guests on their way with full bags and plastic containers, but we still have leftovers. Donna always says I don’t eat leftovers, but that’s not true. I do eat leftovers, especially pie, and I made sure we saved some for ourselves!

I’m doing catch-up blogging this morning … i.e., leftovers … taking advantage of the post-holiday lull and not incidentally celebrating the return of my blogs to operational status. On the Monday before Thanksgiving I began getting complaints from readers who couldn’t access my blogs. All three were down; the problem turned out to be a server upgrade. Normally these things happen in the middle of the night and last about 30 minutes. This time, though, it was three days. Turned out they’d installed a newer version of PhP without also installing the Apache upgrade that goes with it; once the mistake was found the blogs started working again. So who knows from PhP and Apache? Not me! I was relieved (as I always am) to be told I hadn’t caused the problem. Once the server upgrades were complete and everything was working again, I upgraded my blog software to the latest version and changed some of the header graphics. You noticed, right? Right?

While the blogs were down I contented myself with Facebook and Twitter. Well, “content” is not the right word, because Facebook and Twitter are pretty much empty calories. I’d have done better trying to make a dent in the leftovers. But all was not lost: I spotted an eggcorn! Glimpsing eggcorns in the wild, as it were, especially ones that are new to me, will keep me happy for days.

facebook eggcorn

The capitalized Thankful and the substitution of to for two are unexpected bonuses. Thank you, Facebook! Thank you, blurred-out California girl! And lest you think I make a habit of poking fun at others to the exclusion of myself, I’ll confess that this very morning I learned I’ve been writing “free rein” wrong all my life. I thought it was “free reign,” but they tell me that’s wrong, and don’t I feel a right wally! Where do I go to get my self-esteem back? Twitter, of course!

twitter colon

p.s. I very much doubt that profile graphic in any way resembles the person who posted that Tweet, which is why I didn’t blur it out. When it comes to Facebook screen shots, though, I always blur profile photos along with the names … on Facebook, go figure, people tend to reveal their actual faces. While I’m on the subject of Facebook screen shots and poking harmless fun at people, I’ve decided to lay off my Limbaugh-lovin’ Cape Girardeau relatives for a while. It seems Obama’s re-election has driven them around the bend, and they’re no longer funny. True craziness rarely is. I hope they get better in time.

When our son and his family were here we took some photos. In the past we’d have made a trip to Hooters for a boys’ photo op, but I think we’re done with Hooters. One can only pretend greasy cold orders of undercooked Buffalo wings are as good as they used to be for so long, and once the bill for two orders of wings and fried pickles goes over $50, cherished memories go out the window. So you’ll have to make do with this one, taken in front of our house just after sunset:

the kids

Beth, Quentin, Gregory

It’s a shame our granddaughter Taylor couldn’t be in the photo too, but she’s up in Olympia at college. We’ll see her when we visit Gregory and family in Las Vegas for Christmas. So where’s Polly?┬áNever fear, there are plenty of photos to go around. Yesterday I led Polly on a decent motorcycle ride, taking the Goldwing and the Ducati down curvy two-lane roads through the Santa Rosa Mountains to Sonoita and on to Patagonia for lunch. The point was to help her get comfortable riding at highway speeds and dealing with curves and hills. She did well. Here we are in Sonoita:

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Polly and her Duck

Now to get her some biker T-shirts to cover up those jugs. Jesus, my daughter dresses like a strumpet!

I’ll refrain from posting a photo of my face. On Tuesday the dermatologist burned off a dozen pre-cancerous spots, and I look like I went through a windshield head first. Why is it I never see these spots myself? I shave in front of a mirror every day, and I always look for new ones. Okay, this time I did identify a suspicious spot on my right cheek beforehand, but the other eleven came as a surprise. I guess as long as the doc keeps finding them before they turn into anything serious I can live with the burn marks. In other medical news, I called the orthopedic surgeon to schedule my first knee replacement. No date yet, but soon, I hope. I had to sub out all but one of my November air museum tours, and I’ve subbed out all of December. It’s killing me, not pulling my weight at the museum, not to mention the severe lack of exercise and moving around. This forced idleness must not stand!

The outdoor lights are strung, but more importantly, my Christmas shopping is done. No big box stores, no malls, no Black Friday outings for me. I did make a pre-Thanksgiving day run to Costco for one of their great pumpkin pies (really, their pies are far better than anything we ever make at home), and that was more than enough for me. I believe I’m getting a mild case of agoraphobia … or perhaps I’ve always had it. I don’t like crowds, never have. On-line shopping’s a godsend for people like me. It must be an absolute lifesaver for honest-to-goodness agoraphobics. Watching YouTube videos of Black Friday mayhem at the nation’s Walmarts, I was struck by something: the people who wait in line and then rush through the doors to fight over Xboxes and plasma TVs aren’t doing it because they’re all morons … some of them are doing it for fun! No kidding, watch some of these videos and you’ll see excitement and grins on many faces. Black Friday’s become a sort of Halloween for adults. Oh, brave new world!

Enjoy the blog’s (slightly) new look. I think we’re back, and regular blogging will resume shortly.

© 2012, Paul Woodford. All rights reserved.

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